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My wife has agreed to MC. She has been saying that we can do this on our own without outside help. It is tough to deal with every thing that has happened and I think MC is a must for us but she thinks we should just know how to treat each other. The problem is that I think I am treating her real good and I feel she could be better with me. I am trying to find a good MC in our area. The last one we were going to was apparantly no help for us so I am searching for a new one now.

Hey Jersting, thats great news pal. I hope you can find one that will be beneficial this time. I think it's great if she recognizes that ya'll need help to fix all this. That's a big step for her.

Ian

Very good news!!!

I think MC will be very good for you both! Going is not a sign of weakness any more than two people who speak a different language going to a translator.

I'm very pleased for you as this is such a positive development. My only caution is that it may take her some time to really commit to it and engage. My WAW wanted to go to MC and we did, but she really just wanted a forum to blame me for everything. She didn't really engage for two months. But, ultimately, she did and this appears to have been of great value.

I am wishing the best for you.

Great positive steps. Hopefully I will be following your footsteps.

~ How wonderful to read the positves. ~
Take Care and God bless....

Thanks all, when we talked about this stuff in the begining we said it would be hard work. That is to say the least, this has been the toughest 6 months I have lived in my life. The roller coaster I was riding that she had me on has turned in to my roller coaster. Now my ups and downs are on me and I see now that it had been my roller coaster all along.

Good observation, it's true for all of us.

I wanted to post an update... The conselor we went to thought that it was too soon for us to start marriage conseling. She said we needed individual conseling first. The conselor thought that I seemed to be where I needed to be but my wife had issues that needed to be taken care of before we started MC. So to make a long story short, my wife is going to individual conseling. I am not divorced but I am not happily married yet either. I will post more as time goes on.... a short update. I am living with family and I thought things were going real good and I mentioned to my wife that I would move all my stuff back to the house and she asked why I wanted to rush things. I have not moved all my stuff back but I am going to move it out of my other place so I can rent it out. I will post more later. It is my busy time of year so I have not had much time to be on the boards, I will catch up soon.

Thanks for the update. I've been wondering how you were doing.


I think this is probably spot on and may be a good indication you have a C that will be good for you both. People with unresolved issues can't really work on an M successfully because the other problems sabotage the efforts expended on the M. As a result, I think this is a wise course of action.


Whoa...patience there, fella. I agree with your W on this one. Until a good foundation is built, jumping back into things together could be counter-productive and lead one or both of you to engage in damaging behaviors. Let this go for a while. You've come this far, give the process a little more time to work. Remember, if you push too hard or too fast, you risk scaring her off.

I am wishing the best for you...patience for you, clarity for your W, and wisdom for your C.

Hey Jersting, glad you finally updated. I happen to agree with oldfool here, take it slow buddy, don't rush anything. You are doing great on the patience thing and have been really hanging in there with the W, let her set the pace.


Ian