Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Just getting started peicing it back together 2

Thanks to all for your input. I think that things really seem to be headed in the right direction for my family. I will post more as more happens.

I am sitting here reading the sitchs of other people and noticing how much alike so many things are. Seems very odd that all of this seems to start the same way and yet so often the finish is so different. Life is very confusing to say the least.
Now I have a question that I am wondering what others here think about my sitch at this moment. I talk to WAW about 5 times a day. She says I love you now every time we get ready to hang up. She told me she does not want a D and she has me staying at the house when ever I will. She never comes out and says she wants me to stay, she just says you ought to just stay here tonight. Or she has a reason for me to stay,(like she needs to leave early and wants me to stay so the kids don't have to get up early). I have kids at my place right now and we have a date on sat.(which she initiated). She is picking kids up after she gets off work and I am geting them back from her tonight when I get off work and then taking them back to her in the morning. while I am at work and then picking them back up after I get off work. Then I am taking them back with me when I pick her up for date sat. for babysiter to take care of them at the house where all of their things are(seems like alot of unnecessary back in forth for the kids to me) oh well I guess this will all happen for one reason or another. Now to get to my question. My W told me a couple of times she has tried to get ahold of her lawyer (a way of saying to me that she does not want the D.) It has been a couple weeks now of us moving in the right direction and still I have heard nothing from the lawyers about what is happening with the D proceedings. I am under a court order to pay her support and all of the bills at her house and until she stops this I can't legally move back into the house. Why has she not been able to get in touch with her lawyer if she has actually tried? and if she has not tried why is she telling me she has?

There are going to be so many others who will read of your current sitch and be green with envy! I think things are going well for you. That having been said, don't get too excited. In trying to answer your question, I came upon a few of my own.

You said, "She told me she does not want a D". Has she actually used those words? Does she not want *a* D (as in, I hate to think of myself as divorced or that my marriage failed) or does she not want *this* D (as in, I don't want to D you and I'm asking my attorney to abandon the case)?

You said, "...she has tried to get ahold of her lawyer (a way of saying to me that she does not want the D.)". Unless she has explicitly stated this (see above), how do you know that this is what it means to your WAW?

In short, it is not difficult to contact a lawyer, leave a message that you have changed your mind, or write a letter stating you no longer want a D and want the case dropped. The fact that this hasn't happened leads me to believe your WAW is not quite ready to give up on the idea.

Still, it looks for all the world as though she is definitely no longer dead set on it and is probably having doubts about the whole thing. So, don't get too depressed that the D isn't dead yet, but don't get ahead of yourself either because...again...the D isn't dead yet.

I don't know about the county you are in, but in mine, unless a court date is set within six months of filing, the case is dismissed by default. If this is true for you, then if your WAW doesn't act in the timeframe provided, the D will be dead by default at some point (unless, of course, she chooses to file again).

I am having a hard time following this new format. I can't find any of my favorite thread lists and it has taken me until now to find this thread again.

Me too my man. When I get it sorted out, I will post more.

GH

So...what's been happening with you? Is the D dead yet...or still just hanging around in limbo. Either is good. Again, time is your friend.

I totally agree on this point. Stick to what you know is right and do the right thing.

BIG D is not dead yet, but it is on hold. I am staying most of the time at the family house. I have not moved back though, most all of my stuff I am keeping at my place until I know this is going to work for all of us.

Hooray! That's no baby step! This is the first, real, full-blown step in reversing the damage. That doesn't mean it's guaranteed, but it does have to happen before other good things can transpire. Keep us posted.

Hi jersting. I'll quote you in bold. Nice to see you back, although I also think prolonged time away from here is probably a good sign for you.

BIG D is not dead yet, but it is on hold.

Good.

I am staying most of the time at the family house.

Very good. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a small step? This sounds like several steps to me.

I have not moved back though, most all of my stuff I am keeping at my place until I know this is going to work for all of us.

Plenty of time to worry about stuff later. The big deal is, are you starting to repair the emotional connection between you and your W? Sounds like you are.

Keep up the good work.

Take care,