Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again We are piecing it back together

Cat,
You are right. She does seem to be warming up. Last night, I woke up with her snuggled up to me, instead of kicking me because I got too close.

We went ballroom dancing last night. Lots of close physical contact, in a non Sexual way. We both had lots of fun. She slept very close to me last night, without kicking me away. I know she is not ready to take this much further, but the closeness is so nice to experience considering where we are, and where we have been for so long.

We enjoyed a concert last evening. Got home late in a snowstorm. I feel the closeness is coming back. We had a little argument and she went out of her way to let me know that the argument was caused by her being crabby and tired, and really had nothing to do with me, or our relationship. I am staying away for today, hoping for the oportunity to get her to read the book, starting tonight.

glad you had a great time

Some bumps are bound to happen, so it's good if both of you expect them, not see them as a sign of defeat but take them as chances to learn to communicate better, to remember to think the best of the other person when something goes wrong, I see that doing that helps to avoid big misunderstandings.

I know that trying to get commitments in the future goes against DB principles, but I just spoke to my WAW (who never left)about her birthday party. She is all for, and excited about a huge group of our friends going to a Gala for dinner, Dancing, and lots of fun on her Birthday in Late February. She is really starting to think about our future together.

Last night we had a fun date at a sporting event. We did something we don't normally do and ate junk food. Beer, Brats, and Nachos for dinner. We both enjoyed the break from our normal "Salad routine". We have a great time together. Today, she is enrolling us in a language class together. We will be taking spanish for 10 weeks, at our local high school, adult education program.
Just for fun I guess. I think of this as piecing. We will be going to this class until May together. It is something we can do as a couple, and it gives us something to talk about the rest of the time.
Tonight we need to go shop for food because our kids are staying at our house for the weekend to take care of our dogs. From the outside looking in, people would think our marriage is normal. What is a normal marriage?

normal, well, looking at every marriage I can think of I can recall huge obstacles they had to overcome, unbearable situations going on, all sorts of things, so there isnt' such thing as "normal", something is always up and people wouldnt' suspect a thing. LIfe indeed is a journey not a destination.

Enjoy the moment, it's nice you guys get to do something out of the house together; my H and I are painting a mural, that's our time together.

What is the mural off? How big is it? That sounds like a cool idea.
Things were great with us last night. She was warm and loving compared to how she has been. She gave me a long, full frontal body contact hug and kissed me on the neck. I did the right thing, ended the hug first, and did not push her for more later on. (sex) She has always said that she never hugged me before, because I would always get the idea she wanted sex then, and push until I got it.
(I did want it last night, but not at the expense of the progress we have made.)

Quote:

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She has always said that she never hugged me before, because I would always get the idea she wanted sex then, and push until I got it.
(I did want it last night, but not at the expense of the progress we have made.)

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And the brownie points keep adding up

The mural as his idea, it will be on the side of the wall where the main door leads to the stairs up to the living room. He draws like no ones' business, we are both artists, but is much better than me. At the beginning I wasn't crazy about the idea, but I didn't want to shoot down his enthusiasm at a joint project, so I went along w/it. But now I'm also enthus becuase I think it will look good.

The funny part is, that he's the one who stopped going to church, but it was his idea to show a city in heaven w/the Trinity above clouds, lots of angels, people on the walls looking out. At the botom, the fallen angel in chains, also the 4 horsemen of Revelation, and all sorts of evil people in the shadows (hitler, etc)
I honestly have SO much to do at home w/the 2 kids, laundry and cooking after my ft job, but I won't make the same mistake again, of putting chores ahead of him, so whenever we get a chance we work together on the mural.

Well we had a great weekend in Chicago. Just the two of us in a nice hotel downtown. We went shopping all day on Saturday, and to a play in the eveing. Lots of great memories. We talked alot, about nothing much. Just a friendly weekend without any preasure on her to have sex with me. She did want hugs and kisses several times and I was happy to oblige. Other then, the physical things that are missing, we seem to be piecing things back together very nicely. I think we would both call each other best friends at this point. I am so pleased with that part if things, since it has only been a little over 3 months since she was ready to leave me. We talked a little about physical things, and she said she will move forward with things when it is spontainious. She will not be preassured by me or by anyone. She does not want a timetable and I have agreed to that. She read about the first 1/3 of the 5 love languages in the car on the way home. We go to our marriage counselor tonight. This is the first time she has asked to see us seperately first, then together for the last 20 minutes. I'm up first. I'm a little nervous about this, but I don't know why.