Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Here we go again !!

I know that you have already seen this by many people....but you need to be so thankful that he is indeed making an effort to work on your M. Even though it is going to be hard to trust again, I pray that you will be able to find a way to make it work. I know that every M isn't meant to be saved but in God's eyes, they are. Your H seems like he is showing remorse and wanting your forgiveness. Please don't write him off. None of us are perfect and we all deserve second chances at things.

Just something to think about.

Thanks not_giving_up

I haven't written him off, by a long shot. It is difficult, to say in the least, but I truly believe if we can just stay together, be civil with each other, and work through the pain one day at a time, we can get through this and both be better people for it.

Of course, right now, I can't see that happening but, at the same time, I am not about to let go and not give it my best effort. If we don't remain together, I can at least say I tried, but I have to try. Doing anything less than that would never be right in my eyes.

Heywire,
You can never go wrong by doing what is right! That is my philosophy anyway. These tests are for a reason, if we believe that everything that happens is for the greater good in some way then we must also believe that there is some good that will come from these terrible situations we are living. Maybe it is just that we will grow and strengthen as people, that is a blessing. Maybe something evenbetter lies ahead, with or without our spouses, who is to know. Hang in there, your strength in inspiring.

Thanks Whatisis

I try to think like that but sometimes it seems almost impossible. I know when I got my first D (many moons ago) I was devastated. I was determined not to be like his parents, my parents etc. etc. I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect wife, mother, woman, employee - you get the idea - that I made myself crazy. I prayed and prayed - please bring him back dear God, make him see his ways and come back - he never did. I cried myself to sleep for months on end. Then one day I said, enough is enough GAL!!! and I did. All of a sudden I was attractive to him - but he never did come back and I was well on my way to being a new me. It was a blessing in disguise, I just didn't know it at the time. Once I stopped the pity party I was well on my way and realized what a real favour he did for me. Then the prayers changed - it became "my life is in your hands - do what you think is best for me" and believe it or not, the next day I met my current H. As much as I think God, at this point, has a twisted sense of humour, I still think my current H is the best thing that ever happened to me and he (God) is just testing me to see if I really do know what (unconditional) love is. He is a good man/person, he just lost his way and we drifted - we need to concentrate on getting that back and I think we are on our way.

Yes, it's true, we really don't know what lies ahead and the outcome may actually be something good! I try not to think of myself living in a small basement apartment, alone, broke and missing my kids because that is my fear, it is not based on any sense of reality. The pictures we have in our head often have a habit of becoming reality. I try to put good pictures there instead because what fills our heads tends to grow...and grow. So let's stay positive, what's the worst that will happen if we're wrong? We'll get hurt. So, how is that any different than what's happening now? We may be just postponing it a little longer but isn't that a good thing too!!!

The mind is a VERY powerful enemy at times, but it can also be your best friend. It is indeed a very fine line.

But it is also a very find line between love and hate