I'm glad to hear that you are finding the courage to open up to new possibilities in a relationship.
Taveling through the MLC journey is an opportunity for great human growth, physicaly, emotionaly and especially spiritualy. It feels as if you have found Hell while you're in the worst of the MLC experience, and maybe in some sense we have. It felt that way for me in the beginning.
Fortunately for me, with the help of people here on the board, family, friends, and others who have gone through the same experience, I was able to understand what this phase of my life was about.
Each of us ultimately have to ask that question and seek the answers. The MLC experience may be more about us than it is about them.
Ultimately it depends on where you choose to focus your thoughts and energy. If you focus on your MLC spouse and their behaviors, wishing for them to change. Than you will be one very frustrated and resentful soul.
If you choose to ask yourself; what am I to learn from this experience? And then go out and seek the answers. You will evolve into a person with a greater understanding of life, its purpose, and how to live in a world that you create filled with love, peace and harmony.
As it always has been, it's your choice.
I for one was stuck in the world of trying to prove myself as "being right." I also believed that I could "fix" my XW.
Being a sports fan and believing the game is never over until the final second runs off the clock, I believed that I could pull off the miracle comeback against all odds.
My life has been about not giving up. I've had a poem on my office wall for many years tiltled "Don't Quit."
The struggle for me was to change my focus on my XW, and turn it on myself. That was where I had control of making real change.
It wasn't for me to learn defeat, as much as it was learning to "let go." By believing that I could never win unless I eventually got my xw back, kept me stuck in growing as a human being and becoming all that God intended for me to become.
My sister, during the early days of my seperation from my xw, led me to Gary Zukav's book "The Seat of the Soul." Reading it forever changed my life.
It opened me up to the discovery of my soul and an understanding of life from a whole new perspective. It was the start of my own "awakening."
Everyday I am discovering new ways to look at and understand the world around me, as well as my purpose for being here. Much of what I have been enlightened to goes against long engrained beliefs.
Shedding old beliefs about my life has helped to "set me free."
It brings a smile to my face Batty to see you setting yourself free. To allow yourself to experience all the joy and beauty God has given each of us to experience. As one door closes, God opens new doors. We need only choose whether to walk thru those doors, as God gives uf free will.
Sometimes we are not ready. Sometimes we have to overcome our fears. Sometimes we need to let go of old beliefs before we can move forward with our lives. For each of us it can be something different that we need to come to terms with.
That is why I believe the MLC experience may be more about us than our spouses.
Paul, did you snoop at my pastor's sermon for this evening? He spoke of God's infinite love that provides new people in our lives, and our choice to accept them or reject. Those that understand the Creator, also understand that He places those people in our lives for a reason. They may be different, from their differences we can learn, or choose to reject. BUT, if we take the time to listen, another aspect of life's lessons may unfold. And we learn from another's experiences, if we pay attention to what they say. We see another path that they have walked. We've never been there, but by listening we may learn. And it saves us a lot of time. The pastor's remarks this evening hit home. He spoke of really opening up and accepting the people He has placed in our lives, because they are here and now for a reason by His design. And the only way to understand why He has done this, is to open up. Accept. Welcome with open arms. The reason it "home" so well, is because I've contemplated those very thoughts for the last couple of weeks. So tonight was another 2x4 across the brow, another reminder wake up call. '06 will go down as a good year for me as it winds down. '07, I already know will be GREAT, 'cause He's in charge. Just a matter of me listening and paying attention.
Had a nice few moments with my former youngest step son this evening. I wished him a Happy New Year from a few feet away as we were passing. He stopped, turned, and grabbed a hand shake. He said " I hope you have a great new year!", with a direct sincere look. Made my day. I'm serving up some "deep fried 'gator" on January 8th along with the usual tailgate yummies about 7 PM and there after for the neighbors. Hope to pop a champagne cork a little later that evening. GO BUCKS! Paul, thanks for stopping in. Have a safe and wonderful welcoming to the new year.
