This is not going to be easy at all...I know you all will want to watch football tonight, so I'll tell you in "Cliff Notes".
I had to go to the mall today, tomorrow is my sister's B-day and I needed a few more things; otherwise I would have posted earlier.
Dinner was great, nice restaurant, food etc...but there seems to be a trust issue, on both sides that is trying to rear its head. It seems that his pride was so hurt about the A, even though his A started before mine. He has this notion that men often do this, but his wife should not have. So........I said what's good for the goose is also good for the gander. He sat there for a full minute just looking at me - then he asked if that's why I did it.
I told him no, but I suspected that he was cheating. That I couldn't prove it...but mine was not revenge. He asked if I still see the OM - I said no, I stopped when he had asked me if I was having an A. THEN...he asked who it was. I bit into a roll - to think what I should say...then I told him, what difference does it make? He just looked at me again and shook his head.
I told him the real issues were the M and how I felt that he was controlling me...he said he wasn't...I said it felt very much like that. Then, I asked him, why he felt the need to see someone else - he said my career, my need not to be a housewife, my lack of caring for his needs.
Whoa...I said, your needs were taken care of. He said, not like when we dated...(that's BS b/c when we were M'd, I was told to get rid of my sexy costumes) Hello, do I detect a need for mommy?
Then I told him that I was really hurt that he didn't even call me about his mother dying. He said it was too upsetting for him...I said, is that why "she" was at the funeral? He said yes.
There is so much more, but I'll tell you more Tuesday. The big thing was this...My sister ran into him at Home Depot when the D was decreed...she told me, but I could have cared less...well, she told him that I was going to be buying a house in my housing development.
Now, the cagey part...when I sent him a B-day gift last September...Miss Thing threw it in the trash. He went out the next night to throw the trash out and he saw the box opened, he knew it was from me (thanks, Faraway, you told me he would know) even though I didn't put a return label on it or signed the card. She apparently opened it up, read the card, open the box to see the baseball, etc. Well, he blew up...major fight...he threw her out...it was over.
He spent a week driving in my housing development to find my house. He said he came down the street and saw me get out of my car one night and he turned into a neighbor's driveway. I laughed so hard. Then, I asked about George, yes AT, I was thinking about you, he said that he, my X, set that up to see if I was involved with anyone.
So...I asked why the change...sudden interest...he said he had thought it through and realized that I was special and was often childlike in my sense of humor. He said that I was his unique "unicorn" whatever that means...
So, he called this morning to say a few things, then said it will be interesting to see where our dating will lead us...that's an understatement.
It's awkward, but there are things we need to work on, time will either help or hurt. Trust is the main thing.
It was a great dinner, yes he noticed the black attire, but there are some issues we still need to talk about, on both sides...but he looked great...smelled great and remembered that I like a man to open my car door, unless of course it is a valet...but my XH won't let valets park his car.
