You are correct about the PMA being more than the R itself. It's called loving yourself over anything first, not letting another hold your happiness in their hands... :grin
So true. I am finally getting a grasp of that concept. I have to take control of my happiness back. I have to take back the power that I have given my WAH.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I have to agree with it as well. I am taking back control of my life and it is pissing her off but I am alot better place for myself and my kids. That is all I care about now. My W can wallow in her self pitty and live in her fantasy world as long as she wants. As long as I have myself and My kids I am going to be happy.
Later, O
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Well, 1210, I don't know how often my friend was lucky enough to "float his boat" but he sure kept at it! Ole Whatis seems to have po'd the W last night, hard to believe I know! We were discussing the challenges of parenting a child just entering her teens, and I mean challenges. W said "I have to deal with this kind of crap at work all day and then I have to come home and deal with it all over again" I empathized with her and remarked that I was in a similar situation, so I understood her frustration. But I had the audacity to state that "our D is not responsible for our stress at work. It's our job to deal with that stress and not lay it on her" W seemed angry "So then she is not responsible for anything?" I said "No, she is responsible for whatever you can reasonably expect from a 12 year old, she is not responsible for nor able to take care of our feelings and stress, we are the adults here, not her " Well, W left the room and upon returning was silent and obviously no longer in a talking mood. I went over our Xmas shopping plans (she is not going to shop with me) and tried to get that straightened up. The following is my personal interpretation: Basically, W thinks that D12 should understand her stress and take care of her feelings. She wants D to be an adult rather than a 12 year old. She thinks everyone should be totally connected with her entire being at all times, such BS! I think they are both in the "it's all about me stage" and W can't stand looking at herself. W made one angry uncalled for remark towards D last night and I said "that's enough, move on" I was shocked that she was still talking to me after that.
I don't know what she's complaining about, I'm the one with two adolescents on my hands. Wish me luck!
AT, How did you know that? I banned D tonight for her behaviour last evening. That's how I get to post once in a while! There are about to be limits set on computer time for her, she gets damn ugly after too much screen time.
