Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis A Little self serving but I could use some help

Today was fil's funeral. I met h there. The family rode in limos. I waited when who walked in holding my d's hand. Yes ow. So I moved between her and d4 and said they are my daughters.

Then I said to her what are you doing here? You do not belong here? Then I showed her my wedding ring. She was like a dear in headlights. She moved

Upon leaving she got into the limo with my husband and my children. I did try to ask h how he could do this to me they are my children.

I tried to talk to him at the reception but he would not have it> I don't blame him but. I said you should have told me.

I then told her in a kind way I was not giving up and that I know him she does not. I said he turned 40 and met you. Think about it.

H actually had the nerve to introduce us I said I know we met. I showed her my ring. And I flashed it again.

I know stupid me.

I also told h I wanted my family back.

Yes I am a moron!!!

Oh BTW she is not very pretty. Does not dress very well.

When they walked into the reception they were holding hands. Gee thanks for flaunting it. I looked at her and she backed away from him.

Yes she is a non entity and I gave her too much. I also pushed h a little but...

I need to regroup and just be.

It is time for me to just completely separate myself from him for good.

Thanks for listening.

Mermaid,
If I were close to you, I've give you a huge hug. What an emotional day that you have had. I'm so sorry that things were so out of character for the funeral.

What a moron! What was he thinking by bringing that woman to his father's funeral knowing you and the girls would be there? He's your typical mlcer, not caring what others think just as long as he's got that person there for support. You know, I think I would step back a bit when he comes seeking support from you. I know you want to be there for him, but I think it's time for a little distancing now.

I don't blame you at all for flashing your rings. This woman and affair will not last. I'm glad you let her know that you are standing for your marriage. It will be interesting to see if he raises the issue w/you later on.

Now, you need to regroup and let him flounder in the wind. You've made your opinion perfectly clear. Mermaid, step back and wait patiently.

Be kind to yourself this evening. It's been a very "trying" day to say the least. Is there anything we can do for you?

(((Mermai))): I am so sorry that your H did this to you. How totally cruel!!! After all that you have done.

I don't want to get into it too much as we differ in our opinions a bit and my ex DID marry OW, but - I think that flashing the rings in her face and telling it as it is WAS the right thing to do. I wish I had done it long ago when I had the chance. I think your H is a total MORON, not you.

Let him be. He made an ass of himself. You held yourself up. Others know.

Hug your girls. I will be thinking of you.

Barb

((((((hugs))))))
I am sorry that you had to deal with this today.
I am sorry that your children were exposed to this homewrecker.
I am glad you showed off the rings...
You go girl!!

Mermaid,

I am very sorry you had to go through this, how heartbreaking it must of felt, and confusing for the girls too.

I wish I could have been there to hold on to you as you stood there... the strength you have within.

I know how hard all of this is, and you don't deserve any of it. Please don't let the ignorance of others get you down. You have given so much, it's time to give back to yourself.

Yes, let him go for now, and have him see what kind of a loser he has in his life now. As long as he thinks you are going to be there for him, he will not be able to see what kind of a tramp he has beside him. It's time for you to move on for yourself and the girls, while leaving the door ajar for what God has in His plans.

Again Mermaid, I am sorry, I do understand the hurt you feel, however, you don't deserve what he is doing now.

Please take care of yourself....

God Bless

Love,

Laughing

Oh Mermaid,

I'm so sorry. But you showed her your Power...let her see that and be scared. You had every right to feel upset, and you reacted well.

I too wish I could give you a real HUG.

I'm sorry about you Father-in-Law.
I'm so sorry your babies are being exposed to this.

But they are so very blessed to havea mother like you. You are setting a beautiful example.

HUGS,
RCR

((((mermaid))))

What a dreadful experience.

The least he could have done was to warn you she would be there, what a shock it must have been. She is at best insensitive, holding hands with your d and your h in these circumstances.

I agree that it is best to let him go, set some boundaries. And I would also let him know more coolly how disrespectful his behaviour - and hers - was.

I do so hope that you feel a little better today and that the stand you took felt somewhat empowering.

Please take the best of care of you and your little girls,

Much love, and many virtual hugs to you

Jaybeexxxx

Hello everyone,

Thank you for coming to my rescue. Reading your replies and knowing how you all understand is a real comfort.

H is furious with me and again he made me feel guilty for his stuff.

But as I had trouble sleeping last night I realized how he used me again. He pulled me in with his father's illness and death. Oh I am not saying he did not see me as a comfort but all in the while he had ow. I knew she was there but it sure seems he set me up and I played right into his hands. He wanted me to react so he had a reason to hate me. I am mad at myself for openning up myself to him again. I thought I was doing the right thing but I have been allowing him to cake eat.

That stops now. I am going completely dark. I want to communicate only through email.

I do have some regrets but h takes no responsability. I did not want to believe that my h could be so manipulative but I was so wrong.

He cancelled on d7 (now d8) bday party today. Of course he is going to through her one on his own.

My h is really lost now.

Thanks again all of you.

Hi Mermaid,

Some self-reflecting is a good thing. Don`t be hard on yourself, you are still M to this man, & I do believe you showed her just that.

Going dark will be good for you. You need time to reflect some more. Take this time for yourself. It`s the most luxurious thing you can do for yourself at this time.

H will have a lot to think about. His F`s passing, ow, & you. She has seen you up close & personal, & you are the mother of the girls, you are a real person & now she knows it. I`ll bet she either backs away or puts added pressure on H in some way.

Hang in there
xox
Celestial

Mermaid,
I believe you are doing the right thing by going dark. I wasn't surprised to hear that he was angry. He's angry w/himself for being such a jerk as to bringing the "who" to the funeral. He's angry that you aren't playing along like the good wife and welcoming her into the fold. Do not allow him to make you feel guilty. He's the fool that should be looking within and realizing that you are the one and only good thing in his life besides his little girls.

I'm so sorry that he's taking out his anger on all of you. I could just smack him for canceling out on your daughter today. Your daughter will remember that and in her own way, she'll let him know about it.

Hugs to you. The ride is going to get a bit rougher, but I do know that you'll be able to handle it. Take care.