That is the same way I feel about the W. She will be missing out on things as well but not as much as J because she does get the kids every other week.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
He better wake up fast because Q almost doesn't even care if he is there or not. And A will never truly know him as his father.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I would never use them as a weapon. But I do try to bring up the fact that he is going to miss out on all of A first's and will miss out on alot of other things with the kids.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I am ok....survived Christmas. H came over for about 3 hours Christmas morning and left by 9:30am. He watched the kids open gifts, played a few games and then left. He had to work that night but I am sure he hurried back to her.
We actually spent some time talking this weekend. He was suppose to be there at 5pm on Saturday night for our little Q bday get together. Didn't show up until 6 and then left by 7:00. We sat up in our bedroom for about 45 minutes talking. It seems like OW drug me into her excuse of not being home because she doesn't trust him. She wanted to make sure that he was telling her the truth on some things. And I told him that it seemed that she didn't trust him. I had asked him to turn off his cell whenever he is at the house because she always seems to call him when he is there. It is almost like poking fun at me that he isn't at home.
Then on Sunday, he came over after we got home from church. It was rough for a little while. He blew up at me because he was getting some of his clothes. He came down and I asked him if he ever felt guilty for the way he had been treating me and he said yes. I asked him why he never apologized and he said that he does. He doesn't. If I say something that I know he took the wrong way, I always apologize because I don't want that hanging over my head and it being used as an excuse to not come home. I asked him if he believed everything that she tells him and he said no! THEN WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING WITH HER!?!?!? I asked him if I have given him any reason to doubt what I say and he said NO! When he was leaving, he apologized for blowing up at me and then said that sometimes he thinks about coming home and sometimes he doesn't. I don't know how to take that but ok.
Then he came over on Monday and only stayed for a few hours. I got the kids ready after lunch and took them to Z to see his family. I have a feeling that all of his mom's sisters know. They all walked me out and helped me get the kids in the van. They all said that if I needed anything to call. That felt good. From there I went over to his grandma's house to see her and his dad. Stayed there for a few hours and then left. The funny thing is that the only one that asked where he was, was his grandma. I just said that he wasnt' there.
Other than that, Christmas was ok.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
That means he is still on the fence. Don't blow it...
I try not to blow it but I don't know what to do right now other than focus on me and the kids. I wish that I knew what to do to get him off of that fence and bring him home. I guess we all wish for those magic words or actions to bring our WAH/W home.
Q was really excited. A just wanted to rip off all the paper and little man just watched and cooed.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Quote: I don't know what to do right now other than focus on me and the kids
First thing is to get the dang book from me and read it.
Second focusing on you and your kids is exactly what you need to do right now. You goal is to make him pursue you, not sit and talk about the R everytime you guys are around each other. Don't you see that everytime you two seems to talk about the R one of two things happen?
1) He shuts up and does not say anything. 2) He gets all pissy.
Try to have a good time when he is there. Like nothing in the world is bothering you. Quit all aspects of R talk unless you are at MC. He needs to just figure out what is going on in that little peanut brain he has right now and get his sh!t straight. The R talk makes him not want to come around.
I know it is tough trust me, of all peopl you know I understand your pain. However you have to stop trying to con him into comming back. The whole trust thing he will have to figure out on his own. They will fail but you have to be paitient and quit pushing him...
Later, Ben
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Re: MC...he didn't want to go last time. I am going to call and set up a new appointment and just let him know when it is. I pray that he will go but I won't get my hopes up.
I forgot to tell you, I probably should not have done this....but when he left on Christmas, I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told him Merry Christmas.
I thought I was a patient person but when someone is holding my family's life in the balance...I am not that patient.
Oh by the way, the admistrator from his job called the house today and said that he needed to talk to J. Was not urgent but needed to talk to him as soon as possible. Isn't urgent and ASAP just about the same. I wonder if this is a repromand for his little 'side life' at work with her. I can only hope!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
