Thank you for visiting my thread. I'm sorry for all the fear that you have to live in with your home situation. It takes such a toll along with your h's MLC. Prayer helps us through it. I know this but fail to keep it foremost in my life. I take my worries back instead of allowing God to take care of them.
Thanks for your post. You see my H for what he is==a big bag of wind always blowing but never really doing anything. I think my pushing on the house is really getting to him as I have not heard from him since I gave him the papers. He did take them to an attorney though. We were hoping to avoid going to court so I made a generous offer. My attorney says he will be surprised if we have to go to court what he will walk away with seeing as how he is not making any payments and causing my credit to get ruined.
My bible reading is a wonderful thing. Sometimes, I don't even want to put it down. I am now sure that whatever happens is for the best in God's plan for things. I will be able to live with it no matter what
Mickey,
I was so amazed when I stopped to read your thread how much of what you were all posting I needed to hear at that moment. Sometimes, I feel as though I am the only person going through these things but then I read posts like are on your thread and I realize that I am just one of many. The posts were right on target for me and even though they were for you. I gained lots of insight from them. I know I will be fine no matter what and that God has a plan for me even if I can't see what it is right now.
My gf and I went to the holiday fair that we have in town. Lots of booths and lots of Christmas stuff. I am so predictalbe==I came home with towels and potholders. Oh well, it was what I needed.
Journaling: A friend of mine (male) called and talked for about an hour yesterday. His wife died about 2 years ago and he is very lonesome. He told me had his tree up and almost stopped over to see mine. I laughed and said you would have been disappointed becuase I haven't put one up yet. He said maybe next weekend at night he will stop so he can see my outside lights too. It is so easy to talk to him as we know so many of the same people. We will never be anything but friends but it is still good to know we are there for each other if needed.
I have lots to get done today so I have to get at it.
((((Sue)))). Oh you are going through a tough spell over your house, but it sounds like you have a good L looking after your interests. I'm so pride of you getting tough with H on your home, which you deserve so much.
I really agree with brue, I always think your H sounds completely uninterested in D. I doubt he knows what he does want (sigh), but he really seems far away from wanting a D. So if you can get the house thing settled without a D, that is even more flexibility for you. A silver lining?
I know about the lonely thing. The holidays are hard for all, but I think those of us that really, really like them it may strike the hardest.
Hope it is not so cold up there that you can't get outdoors a little--that really helps me, although I don't know about if I was freezing!!!
Much love and hang in there Sue, I think you are well protected right now!
I have been doing lots of reading but not much posting. I will be taking one of my closest friends to see an eye specialist today. She has dry macular degeneration in one eye (which can not be helped) and now she has developed a cataract on the other eye. This will be the check-up before removal, which she wants to get done before the end of the year. We are going early and try to get some shopping and a nice lunch in before her appt at 2:30. She will get drops in her eyes and will need to go home after that because her vision wil be very blurred.
I guess that I have too much time on my hands lately because I have been thinking alot about H saying he hasn't loved me in a many years. I have been going over and over it in my mind. Asking myself foolish ???'s that lead to nowhere but more confussion. I keep coming back to 6 month before he left. I had my knee replaced due to an old injury. He took me in for the surjury, kissed me at the operating room, kissed me when I got back to the room, came everyday and kissed me when he came and again when he left. When I got home he did everything for me, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, did shopping, made me eat when I didn't feel like it, re-arranged his work schedule to take me to my Dr. appts and therapy. He would never let me go outside to exercise unless he was there with me. He tucked me into bed every night and called me at least 6 times everyday from work to be sure I was alright. When we first went up to the 5th wheeel in May he helped me with every step I took. Then in July he started talking to ow and in Sept. he left saying he hadn't cared about me in years. That he just felt so empty. When I asked about the operation and his wonderful commitment, he said it was all just a show and that he never really cared.
I am having a hard time dealing with this right now because I know we will be going to court soon about the house and as much as I hate to do it, I know that it is the right thing in order to protect what I have invested. If he continues on the road he is on, creditors can attach to the house and it could be gone.
Why is this bothering me so much right now? I just keep going over and over it in my mind and I know in my heart that he wouldn't have done all of those things if he didn't love and care about me. Why can't he remember? Or doesn't he want to remember becuase it might hurt too much to look back and see what he has done?
Sorry this is such a downer but I am really having a hard time with it right now.
It is going to be about 15 degs out today with a strong wind so I guess I better find what I will wear shopping.
Oh Sue... (((Sue))) I do know how you feel. I've asked myself those same questions. The most devoted, loving husband, suddenly was "just acting"- for "years"- and I have to think, how many years? We were only married for 4! Did you EVER love me? And I force myself to stop. Because it will drive you totally insane. But I understand - it's the kind of thing that bothers a "normal" person.
One thing I'd like to throw out at you. You have been given a huge challenge I think. I'm thinking that there is a reason why all these people around you are hurting. You've been given great oppotunities to help others, and you seem to be doing it wonderfully. I'm sure they appreciate it immensely. Give yourself a break today and know we are with you in spirit... Hugs, DBH
He remembers Sue. He just doesn't want to admit it and has too much pride to say anything different. He's always showing you that he still cares simply by his lack of doing anything and always coming by to see what you think.
I would be puzzled by it all to - and perhaps you are dwelling on it now because it is the holiday season when we traditionally wish to be around our loved ones.
Still, it doesn't change the fact that you need to protect yourself anyway and keep the creditors away from you. You are doing the things you need to do to protect yourself!
Now how are you going to protect yourself from that frigid weather?????????????? That's ridiculous!
love you
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
Right now, he is blinded by infatuation with OW. They all get this way. They're so "in love" (WHATEVER!) with OW and realize that they haven't had those feelings for us in a very long time. DUH! That's puppy love and occurs in teh beginning of every R - doesn't sustain. He'll realize that one with with OW, as they all do. He is blinded by it. That's all it is.
He's off his rocker! He doesn't know what he's talking about.
(((Sue))). He doesn't mean a word of it. Not one word. The care-taking and kissing after surgery--that was your real H. The mean-mouthed guy is the MLC in action.
Last night when I couldn't sleep I was re-reading the posts on the MLC Resources thread, and I came across this over and over again--don't believe what they say to you. They are in terrible pain, and they just say anything to get you to leave them alone, and to allow them to try whatever self-medication they can dream up. He is lying about his feelings for you. Sue I believe this from the bottom of my heart, and his hanging around you so much just confirms it to me.
Stay warm, and give yourself a big hug in the mirror, and tell yourself how loveable you are!
