I understand why you are pissed, but here's something I tell myself.... if he's been able to push a button, and I get mad, he's won.
With that said, I don't know why they have to continue to play their games, except I do have a few ideas.... They are searching for control, by pushing buttons, getting a reaction, they feel they have found some control.
Secondly, they are miserable, they want to make everyone else miserable too, therefore, they feel there is nothing wrong with them, it's everyone else who has a problem.
Third, They are testing to see if we still care. Again, if they get a reaction, good or bad, we must care, we haven't changed, we haven't moved on.... they know they can reach us by doing something stupid to get our ire's up.
They are completely out of their minds. Need I say more.
I don't know really, although I know I've been divorced for nearly 2.5 years, the xh is remarried, has a new life, a good job, everything going for him.... and he still takes the time to mess with me... but ONLY if I let him. <~ You see, this is where we take back control.... They get to us, ONLY if we let them.
If you come up with a few more ideas, let me know, I'd love to hear them.
Just blow it off, he doesn't have a clue... let him have fun with the Rat.... he doesn't have what it takes to get under your skin... he's defective, you are not.
Let it go, and eventually he might just find another target, well, that's what I'm hoping for.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
Quote: Just blow it off, he doesn't have a clue... let him have fun with the Rat.... he doesn't have what it takes to get under your skin... he's defective, you are not.
Let it go, and eventually he might just find another target, well, that's what I'm hoping for.
Ah, Laughing, always my voice of reason!
I know..I finally figured it out that when they get NO ATTENTION, they do crap like this.
This was so typical of my marriage. He would nitpick over everything, so, eventually I just stopped caring.
Not the case anymore. I went to bed last night not even thinking about it. And, to tell you the truth, I got some satisfaction. Knowing he wrote all that at 5:40 last night. Knowing he must have been stewing over God knows what all day. Also, I thought, if that's all I do wrong in his eyes, good for me!
Well, let me see..Brain foggy since I am hung over like you would not BELIEVE today. Christmas party with friends last night and got home and, yikes 3 a.m. New Guy even has the evidence on his phone! He videotaped my drunken stooper last night..OMG! I was attempting to dance but wasn't too successful!!
Newflash! XH came in the house this weekend! First time in a year, I think. I lost track of the days. He and the Rat broke up, yet again, (did I call it or what?) and he spent the entire weekend with kids..They all had a ball, too. So, he was here yesterday to have D get dressed for a party. He was going to wait outside but I told kids it was okay to come in.
It was sooo strange..You know what? It was strange and familiar at the same time if you can understand that.
He was so weird. Tail between his legs. Head hung low. Looking at all the pictures. He looked happy to be here which threw me for a loop.
He has been all over the place with his emotions. One minute he is emailing me a stupid letter and the next telling the kids, get this one, that he wished he was out to dinner with me. Yup..I text my son Friday night that I was at a certain restaurant and son text me back that dad wished you invited him! I almost spit out my drink!
Then, kids came home with a gift for me today. They also went Christmas shopping for me today.
And..the clincher.
Kids told me that XH is stopping by Christmas morning if that's okay with me. My son told me fifty times..I told him it was fine since Daddy was taking him late morning anyway..I thought if XH wants to come in and see what the kids got xmas morning that was great. No big deal.
We have been down this road before with son's bday, though. Son was all excited for us all to have bday dinner together and XH bailed. The Rat does not like it at all when we have any time of pseudo family thing. Me, on the other hand, I am fine with it since I am way over XH. I hope we can get along but don't expect anywthing. Whatever happens happens. New Guy is fine with it which is so great.
Oh, besides seeing XH in the house yesterday..He and kids just "happened" to go to the Panera Bread New Guy and I were at for lunch yesterday. Many strange coincidences lately of us crossing paths. It is kind of funny. But XH could barely acknowledge New Guy which is different. He is usually more chipper believe it or not. New Guy said XH could not even look him in the eyes..I noticed it too. But the kids seem fine when we are all together and XH has not made it awkward either despite the lack of eye contact stuff.
Oh, another thing. Today New Guy and I were driving past the park on the way home from errands a block from my house. There was XH playing bball with kids. Like he wanted us to see. It's so funny. It's like he is trying to pull "180's" ..I can smell it a mile away. I did it, too..but now it's reversed.
Now, do I think he is trying to be father of the year to get noticed..I am not sure. I sincerely think he misses the kids and The Rat is Satan.. (sorry don't know where that came from )
No, really, I do think that The Rat stirs the pot with the kids and XH feels torn whenever they are all together to wanting to please her and the kids..so he is just Mr.Moody most of the time when they are all in one place. Now, when she isn't around, he is much more relaxed and the kids get one on one..which is all any kid wants, right?
So, we will see. XH did mention he may not be coming over xmas morning if he and the Rat get back together..My D told me..I thought it was weird he even told the kids that.
And, so funny..here last week the Rat suggest WE ALL GO ON VACATION together and the next week he suggests how pissed she will be if he stops by for an hour on xmas morning.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Oh, another thing!
New Guy and I were in Marshalls shopping after we saw kids and XH at lunch and his phone rings. It was my D calling from XH's PHONE!! I almost wet my pants that she did that..And, now XH has New Guys number which I wasn't too thrilled about.
All in all..twilight zone weekend..From text messages that were insane to seeing XH on our couch talking to me about work..to D coming home with gifts for me when she was with XH..CRAZY!
Do Do Do Do (twilight zone theme)
I am sure things will go sour again. But for now, I am glad the kids had fun..
Kids told me XH wanted to buy me a dishwasher for xmas, too. (mine has been broken for months!) I thought that was funny, too,since he hasn't given me anything but a headache for two years..
Nighty night, all,
I have to go sleep this hangover from the party and too much contact with XH right now..
You are so right! I am enjoying the insanity for now!
XH called me yesterday right smack in the middle of the day. I haven't spoken to him without the kids around in about a year. He wanted to ask me about the kids xmas?? Two weeks ahead..That is just unheard of..HE knew what they wanted and, in fact, had already bought them stuff.
We did have a pleasant conversation and that was that.
Today I text messaged him about more xmas stuff thinking he may have duped what I wanted to get kids..he called me right back..no text.
We talked. I told him how happy I was that he has been seeing the kids so much. I told him that as far as I was concerned, the day I signed the divorce papers all of our the rest of our crap flew out the window. I said clean slate, okay? He could not believe I said that. EMotional..happy..he was all over the place.
I love that we can get along..I love that he wants to see the kids..However, I have been down that road way too many times in the past two years to see if it will last.
I did tell him I thought he was acting like the "old H" again..I told him I could cry..He said, okay..go ahead..ha ha.
Anyway, am I biting the bait? Not really..just riding the rollercoaster anticipating some more twists and turns..but, for now, I will enjoy the view.
Nighty night all..
oh, btw..Grad school class coming to an end. Start student teaching in a few weeks..Yee Haa..!! Then I will be all done!!!
3 a.m. New Guy even has the evidence on his phone! He videotaped my drunken stooper last night..OMG! I was attempting to dance but wasn't too successful!! 
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