The important thing is...she's agreed to go. It's amazing to me the impact a "professional" 3rd party has on someone sometimes. My H always thought I was just nagging him, until our 1st MC & our current one....pointend out to him that he truly holds back a big part of himself (or at least did). That he wasn't giving emotionally to the M, as far as fostering a good environment for our M.
When these two MC's, that he respects told him that it held weight. It made him think..."hmmmmm, maybe it's not just her." Hopefully that will happen with BB too. It may take some time, but if she'll just go....I betchya she'll have somet lightbulb moments.
I have to step into the 'physical manifestation of emotional pain' discussion.
When I was a sophomore in college, I fell on a strip of ice. For three days, I could not walk, and my legs just felt tingly. I injured a nerve ending in my lower right back... and was equated with a pschatic problem. As it turned out, it was not nerve damage, I had just 'sprained' my back. Like a sprained ankle, once injured, it will always be more suseptible to future injury.
When I was going through my physical abuse as a kid... I had MASSIVE migraine headaches. And I mean massive and dibilitating. They were extreme tension headaches, come to find out... and as the attacks stopped and I got out of my extreme emotional distress, they went away. However. If I enter into a situation, into a room, that 'smells' like my bedroom as a child? Guess what I get, unless I remove myself almost immediately from the sitch?
A migraine.
I remember walking into a hotel room, once, and telling my now xH... oh my God, this room smells like my bedroom when I was a kid... next day... I couldn't MOVE.
As for the back... it has become my eipi-center for stress, now. It is centered in my psoas muscle.... and my right hip flexor.
The psoas, as it turns out, is related directly to the fight or flight impulse, and can often be mis-diagnosed for a psychiatica nerve problem.
In order for me to counter-act my problem, I had four cortizone shots in my hips (two each side), bed-rest, and then an incrementaly increased workout program to strenghten my CORE muscle area.
In the meantime, I was also having anxiety attacks, so I entered into a meditation exercise to lower my heart rate and deepen my breathing. Lack of oxygen was contributing to my muscle spasms. I also underwent message therapy and some physcial therapy.
This... ALL... from Post Traumatic Stress. Divorce and car accident.
Lou - Don't know how much luck you would have trying to find a doc who does this in Montana, and don't know how you'd get your wife to go, but - has she ever considered "anti-aging" bioidentical hormone replacement? It's still somewhat controversial, but these guys have the most experience in using testosterone to restore sex drive in women (doesn't work in everyone, but can be really effective for some) and maybe some of her other complaints could be helped as well? I think the American Academy of Anti-aging Medicine website has doctor referrals. Maybe if you approached it from a "vitality" standpoint and didn't mention the possible benefits to her sex drive she would consider it?
Re Corri Like a sprained ankle, once injured, it will always be more susceptible to future injury. That is me!
this room smells like my bedroom when I was a kid... next day... I couldn't MOVE. sorry about the revisit to a bad childhood. I tend to tense up when in a situation that isn't going like I want it to. Selfish of me, isn't it?
As for the back... it has become my eipi-center for stress, now. It is centered in my psoas muscle.... and my right hip flexor. Corri, you been talkin to my physical therapist, haven't you?
bed-rest, and then an incrementally increased workout program to strengthen my CORE muscle area. I have been through that same drill 5 times in 25 years.
Oh and about those core muscles, I hear that every time at PT. Just call me the PC muscle kid.
Lack of oxygen was contributing to my muscle spasms. I also underwent message therapy and some physical therapy. collaborating with my P therapist again I see! Or did you two go to PT school together? Just teasing a little because that is about what my PT'ist tells me.
This... ALL... from Post Traumatic Stress. Divorce and car accident. Yes, you have been through the mill. (((corri)))
If I ever get a cast on some limb, will you sign it? Just kidding. I hope you are all done with accidents and such.
kml a doc? gees what ever gave you that idea corri. Yes, she is a MD and so is her H. She had relatives living in my area but I never met anyone.
You should read some of her posts. They are educational medically and relationship wise. KML is A two-fer poster for sure. she can cure your ills and lend an ear, write an Rx for pills and an Rx for broken relationships.
Re kml has she ever considered "anti-aging" bio-identical hormone replacement? BB asked her oncologist about some ??sweet potato?? product. He said no.
I lurk on the breastcancer.org web site and pick up a few things that might help but the information does not go from me, to BB, then to the doc very well, then back to me.
I will learn about "anti-aging" bio-identical hormone replacement and present some of the information to BB.
Maybe if you approached it from a "vitality" standpoint BB has a vitality hook.
Thanks for the Maybe if you approached it from a "vitality" standpoint and the "anti-aging" bio-identical thoughts.
BTW, BB has hypo-thyroid and sees a GP for it. She won't go to an endocrinologist. Her dog even has hypo-thyroid, go figure.
Lou - I forgot about the breast cancer. Most docs would be too scared to put her on hormones, even though we suspect if done properly they would be okay, but the malpractice risk is too great.
I doubt an endo would be any better for her thyroid - they tend to be the most unsatisfactory docs according to the thyroid patients online! It's hard to find a doc anywhere to treat the symptoms and not just the lab numbers, but often the GP is more willing to listen to the patient. Forest Pharmaceuticals has a website that can refer you to docs in your area that prescribe Armour thyroid (dessicated pig thyroid) which works better for many patients than Synthroid because it contains both T4 and T3 (plus some other things, the significance of which we don't know). Or if she has a good relationship with her GP, she might be able to get them to try her on a different regimen.
There's a pretty radical patient site called stopthethyroidmadness.com. While I don't agree with them on every detail (Armour is not the answer for everyone), and I think the self-prescribing some people do there is quite dangerous (although I understand the frustration that drives it) - but - they do have some good refernces and background material.
I said sweet potato in an above post, I got it wrong. BB asked about a Yam product and the doc/onc said no, too risky.
BB was on Armour thyroid meds a long time ago. She was switched to Synthroid because she was getting hyper like feelings. At the time, the doc said Armour thyroid meds were hadr to regulate and the said Synthroid had a more consistant dosage level. The doc said Armour thyroid dosage varried??? or something from batch to batch. That was 15 to 20 years ago.
About 5 years ago, BB's Synthroid dosage was changed every time she had tests (90 days??). She was and has been tired most of her life but the tests said she was getting too much Synthroid most of the time, sometimes, not enough.
Her dosage of Levothyroxine NA is .122MG daily.
BB worked in hospitals and learned her lessons well. She follows the doc's orders to a "T". I know she even was written up for some slight miss timings when a patient was not cooperative and did take his meds but he took then later than scheduled.
Some psy patients think they don't need AD's so they have to be talked in to taking them.
Well, I learned not to try to be smarter than the doc's and nurses. What BB does, thinks, is a bigger job than I can handel. I do make suggestions, voice facts and what she does with them is up to her. I will stick to giving advice about printers. something with in my pay grade and knowledge base.
I will say, if she sees something in "Prevention Magazine" often enough, or on Dr. Rosenfeld, M.D., a professor of medicine at New York Hospital Weil Cornell Medical Center or Dr. Manny Alvarez on Fox News, BB pays attention.
I looked at some of the links you shared, that your son sent to you. Also thanks for the links relating to BB's situation.
Re Qoe100 I hope you find some peace for yourself. I am, strangely enough.
some of the concepts in Snarch's book "Resurrecting Sex" aren't about sex at all. They are more about finding your inner worth and strengths.
The book so far says it isn't about the other person and what they don't bring to the R as much as it is about the good with in you that needs to be developed.
It is a good book for mapping out problems and concentrating, not on the road blocks, but looking for ways around road blocks, for building new trails and improving the new trails, or finding new roads all together.
There is real physical pain and fybromialgia type pain. With the exception on the points on teh top of the sacrilliac[sp], and the base of the neck, I'm doing much better.
This leads to better sleep and clearer thought. Pain takes so much energy, yet less, I think, than emotional depression and anxiety. Those two things have to be the most draining, right up there with shock.
Sometimes acceptance can be a relief. It may not take you into the positive column of happiness; but, it gets you out of that whole that wishing and hitting your head against the wall puts you in.
Good Going on getting BB to go to the MC with you! Maybe this will be the catalyst you both need to see things together as a team again.
Bon Chance!
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Or did you two go to PT school together? 
Just teasing a little because that is about what my PT'ist tells me.