More good news today, at least from my perspective. W's disability benefits were denied. So now, she's completely broke (though she may still have some credit left on a card or two), and she has no job (though her boss might hire her back). She's had no income since the 2nd week of December.
I know that she won't be able to keep her apartment now -- and that will go a long way towards making sure the A stays dead. Since her parents don't want her to stay with them, this makes her moving in with me increasingly likely.
I'm hoping that her impending financial collapse will cause her to truly turn to Christ as the guide for her life. If not, she could be facing some serious depression. I expect a lot to happen in the next few days.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
FWIW - don't know what the basis of her disability claim was, but be aware that they almost always deny claims at first. If she has a legitimate claim, and it's for long-term disability, she should consider getting an attorney who specializes in this area.
My friend's husband had a terrible brain injury several years ago - recovered well at first, but then went rapidly downhill a couple of years ago and hasn't responded to any therapies - docs think it's all due to the brain injury. Their claim for social security disability was denied until they got an attorney.
kml, her claim for short-term disability was based on her recent manic episode (she is bipolar). She hasn't told me, but I feel sure that it was denied because she didn't tell her employer about her condition when she was hired.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
RB you are doing all the right things, and I know the Lord will bless you big time. I don't think I could be as loving and welcoming as you have been to your W; she is SO lucky to have you in her corner. Don't forget that. She needs you, you do not need her.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Quote: her claim for short-term disability was based on her recent manic episode (she is bipolar). She hasn't told me, but I feel sure that it was denied because she didn't tell her employer about her condition when she was hired.
She's not required to tell him things like that. A manic episode is certainly a legitimate claim for short-term disability, and she should pursue it. The way this insurance system works, they deny most claims the first time, figuring if they make it hard enough, many people will give up and that will save them money.
There has still been no word from OM. The last contact from him was a text on Jan 14, and I don't think she has actually talked to him since about Jan 6. W is now coming to accept in her heart that it is over. She is now much more loving with me, and said this morning that she needs to go ahead and start dealing with reality (as opposed to the fantasy that OM is going to come back to her). Last night was the first night that she and D4 have both stayed with me at my apartment, and I really felt like we were a family again.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
That is such good news! I'm glad to hear that. I hope that OM is truly out since that will be the fastest way to get your M back on track. All good signs here! Just keep your guard up to protect yourself from getting hurt, and know that your W will go into some weird phases of being happy and angry and everything in between.
My W feels guilt, I think, so she won't go into anything about her A except that they just "talked". Right. I'm still giving her space, and I have to understand that she might never open up to me about all of this. Whenever I try to push the issue, she gets aggressively defensive. So I stopped. Also give your W lots of space, since she will grieve in her own way.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Well, OM called W yesterday. I guess it was too much to hope that he wouldn't contact her again. He's trying to get out of the army and wants W to write a letter about what the recruiter told him during his enlistment (which I'm confident won't work, by the way). He also tried to (as she put it) "sweet-talk" her into getting back together with him.
W unloaded on him, calling him every name she could think of. OM asked her if she had slept with me, and she said that she had ... sending OM into a tantrum. W was gleeful as she told me this, saying that "it's his turn to suffer."
All this is obviously better than her taking him back, but I'm very uncomfortable, though I didn't express that to her.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)