Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Mama is still pluggin' along...

Thanks so much for stopping by Always. I was beginning to think that my sitch is too boring for anyone to comment anymore.

I too think we are turning the bend, as you say. Whether or not H opens up to me about what happened or not is up to him. I am done pursuing him for answers. I truely think that he would rather forget about it and move on.

I work again tomorrow night. It is so much better than watching kids; at least for me anyway. I really hopes it works out if just for the fact that H gets to spend time with our kids without me around. He needs to feel how much they love him. I also need to feel needed by people other than my family. It will make my life a little more interesting and give me a little more to talk about at the end of the day.

Hi MamaBear, I am so proud of you in your new job!!! WOOO HOOO! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you! I think it is just what you need right now, hanging out with young energetic people, and getting a little break from the domestic scene. And more money is always nice too

But best of all, I am so happy to hear that you think your sitch is turning around. I think your intuition is the best indicator of what is really going on. I do hope though, that you will have some conversations with H about what you need and want at some point. Including H revealing what you need to know. It is not going to be all up to you forever to make the marriage work. You will need to begin to express your wants and needs inside the M so you are fulfilled and reassured. Also, H needs to see your confidence and see that you deserve the truth, respect, and to have your needs met. Otherwise his straying won't be because you weren't great, it will be because H took you for granted. H needs to get at some point what a loss it would be if YOU were not there, and he needs to begin to cherish and take care of you. You will know when the time is right for these conversations, but make sure you have them. You can not afford to have your M go flat, back to the way it was. You must think about what you want and deserve and not settle for less. OK, Mama? So be grateful H is turning around, but keep your eye on the prize - a healthy reinvigorated new marriage.

Mama, congrats on the job. Hope tonight you enjoy yourself. Make sure you find fulfillment in it, which it sounds like you are doing already. I trust your dedication to proving your H did the right thing will pay off. Stay strong and self aware. Work those details!

I concur...congrats on the job StrongBear.

****Whether or not H opens up to me about what happened or not is up to him.

Your right there.

****I am done pursuing him for answers.

Good

****I truely think that he would rather forget about it and move on.

Sure he would. In the short term this is cool, but in the long term it needs to be addressed.

Sounds like things are all looking up StrongBear!!!

Nothing much on the R front to post. Had a great time at my new job last night. It was super busy; lines waiting at the door for a table. According to my manager I did good and no longer need training, I work again tonight and this time I am on my own and will actually get to take home some tips!! I was really tired when I got home and didn't make my H's lunch for today or write him a note like I usually do - didn't get a note back from him either. Whatever, I'm not going to start analyzing. I can't let everything he does or doesn't do ruin my day.

If we get to slap somebody I choose my spouse instead of you. You are human and have been doing a great job in an impossible situation. Survival is Success.

I agree - MamaBear is hot right now! Phew! on Fire! It has been great watching you evolve Mamabear. JM is right - you are strong! But also soft right when it is needed. I am proud of you

Thank you for supporting me. I really appreciate it. Especially when very few support what I am fighting for. I believe my M will not fail. In time I think we will be able to rebuild and make it a better M than before.

Yes, MamaBear, I know what you mean. Very few out in the world even understand what we are doing, let alone support it. You give me hope and strength too And you know what, when we hit out 50th anniversaries with the glowing sparkle of love in our eyes, wrinkly smiling faces holding hands lovingly with our H's, we will know so much about why we did what we did! You hang in there. I am quite sure you are on the right track my friend I am rooting for you.