I will continue to say what I have said previously: a couple of months separation would be great for him. I do think that you should tell him that you would like to stay apart, and you would like to see some changes in his life before you do anything with the relationship.
I would start by insisting on regular child support payments ... that would be my first test to see if he really means it this time. Then I would add that he needs to prove to you that he's really "over" Cassie by keeping away from her for this two-month period. You need to stand up for yourself and have enough self-respect to take control of your sitch and not be a doormat at his beck and call as he bounces back and forth between you and her.
Quote: Where's RB to smack me and say I'm just being bitter and holding a grudge?
I would never smack you for saying that your H's behavior is not trustworthy and you don't believe that you should "give him another chance" because he'll just blow it. That's actually very logical and part of a good decision-making process. I've had a problem in the past when you've expressed hatred and anger toward him, because that isn't helpful to you.
Good luck!
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Well I guess the good and the bad news is the same then . . .
Quote: I would never smack you for saying that your H's behavior is not trustworthy and you don't believe that you should "give him another chance" because he'll just blow it. That's actually very logical and part of a good decision-making process
I still feel like that.
Actually I woke up this morning feeling LESS like giving him that shot than I did yesterday.
I know that if I am not readily available to him (I.E. if I push that "seperation"/not that I know how we could possibly seperate anymore than we are now!) I know that he'll throw in the towel . . . because he always has to have the last say. If he thinks there's a chance I'm not going try . . . he'll cut the cord so he can have the last say.
That's how he is.
That's honestly how I feel like being.
I feel like giving him the boot . . . so then it was my decision and . . I don't know . . . I'll have to deal with that NOT the fact that he couldn't love me.
I am sick of this game.
He is probably still "with her" . . . that's probably why it's taken him a week to call me.
She just probably didn't go back out on the road with him.
WTH do I know?
Only that he's a liar and a cheater. . . and I don't really feel he's worth my time or effort anymore.
Yes . . . Kiya and Felina are the main reason I still stand. But even they deserve better than what I feel he is offering.
I'm so sick of the lying and the headgames.
He's always selling bullsh*t . . . I'm sick of it.
I guess I should just try to not think about it for awhile and like you said Amy see what if anything he brings to the table.
I just want to cut it off before he has a chance to break my heart again . . . which seems inevitable.
Well I've been reading around some. Including some of my old posts.
I can't believe how freaked out I was. I mean yeah when he does this crap now I get angry . . . BUT I don't panic and feel like I can't make it on my own. I know I'm fine now. I'm not totally happy with everything. But it's coming.
Reading others posts and seeing how hard they want to work. It almost breaks mmy heart . . because I just don't feel like that anymore. I refuse to allow myself to become a WAS . . . but I'd like to do just what he did and throw my hands up and say f-it. Damn me and my morals!LOL
I just want it all figured out now. . . I want to know the end result. If he's going to scurry back to her again/or hell if he is just flat out still with her. I want to know that now . . . because that will seal the deal. I will not be that OW anymore. It's me or her . . . no more games. . . . Well that's all for now! Have a great day guys!
I'm not totally happy with everything. But it's coming.
Ever see the movie Finding Nemo?? keep swimming , swimming, swimming.... Keep going you are on your way Honey,,,, I am soooooooooo proud of you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Ali God bless...
So I get mail today . . .and I just started opening.
And I came across something from Nextel. I had already opened it . . . so it's from 8/20/2006.
It's for my H's NEW PHONE!
Well I have his number now.
So he lied to me the other morning.
He told me he was calling from a payphone with a phonecard.
WTF???
WHY WOULD HE HAVE HIS ADDRESS AS MY HOUSE IF HE DIDN'T EVEN PLAN ON TELLING ME ABOUT THE PHONE???????????? This new turn of events REALLY make me what to just give him a good swift kick out the door.
Calm down, Make no ASSumptions. There may be an explanation - or not. Why not just call him on his new number and ask him when he got his new phone?
As for the bigger picture - you're so nervous about giving him a chance, that you'd rather push him away now than risk being hurt. Why not make an agreement with yourself that you'll give this a specific amount of time - say 6 months - and see what he's managed to do in that time. If he's straightened out - great. If not - you can dump him in 6 months. Then at least you can tell you daughters you did your best.
Quote: Calm down, Make no ASSumptions. There may be an explanation - or not. Why not just call him on his new number and ask him when he got his new phone? Done! I called and just asked him to please call me. I was calm and didn't scream or rant about anything. I simply stated that I would like to talk to him please.
As for the bigger picture - you're so nervous about giving him a chance, that you'd rather push him away now than risk being hurt. Why not make an agreement with yourself that you'll give this a specific amount of time - say 6 months - and see what he's managed to do in that time. If he's straightened out - great. If not - you can dump him in 6 months. Then at least you can tell you daughters you did your best. This idea I do like. I'll give him exactly 1 year of us being seperated and then I am done. So on December 12, 2006 if his act isn't straightened around and showing DRASTIC improvement I am throwing in the towel . . . for sure. But let me just say that if there isn't an EXTREMELY good reason for this lie . . . and if she is still out on the road with him. I am done NOW! It's total bull . . . and I'm not dealing with it. Either he's going to start being truthful now or I am walking away.
By the by . . . I am doing alright. I come here and vent out all of this crap . . .and I never take a second to say that I am still working on myself.
I just took another test for that Vet. Assisant program yesterday and I passed ! So I am still working on things TOTALLY outside of this sitch. I just try not to talk to my friends and family about what's going on with my H and I . . . . so I talk to them about everything else and reserve all of that other crap for you all here! You're much more understanding than they would be.
I am terribly angry about this whole f-up on his part. I'm wondering how long it will take him to call me. The bill is only for the 20th I think. Which would mean he got the phone on Sunday (I thought he was to be in NY . . remember that crap). I don't know why he lies . . he ALWAYS gets caught. Honesty would serve him so much better even if it hurts at the moment he's saying the truth. GRRRRRR I wish there was a way to get through to him. I don't care what he chooses . . . I just want the TRUTH. Flat out honest to God truth. I want him to man up and see his girls . . . and tell me the truth. Doesn't seem like to much to ask does it?
Well still no word from him! What is he scared? The world may never know . . LOL!
More ASSuming here . . . but I'm guessing that SHE is in fact back out on the road with him . . . and is pi$$y that I called. So he hasn't "sneaked" away to call me yet. I'm just getting more and more angry about the stupid game.
!