Quote: Why do you want to do this? Are you trying to push some buttons or force some issues? What are you hoping to accomplish by doing this?
I think that may have been taken out of context to what I ment. I ment more of . . I don't want him to just come back and expect to snuggle up on the couch and ML and act like there was never a problem . . which is the way it's been every other time he came to visit. I excepted him back into MY home . . MY bed and MY heart . . as if nothing happened. AND . . as many of you have seen . . reality strikes . . and it's left me on my knees crying. I don't want to be there again.
I in NO way want to push him away . . I don't want to act cold or mean or anything . . I simply do NOT want all the hurt to come flooding back.
I think I can act like I would with any of my friends . . NO PROBLEM there . . . but what if he expects more. I don't want it to be weird like when that other guy was here and kept trying to make passes at me. I don't know if I can resist my H.
That's the problem. . . Don't worry guys . . I'm not too stressed . . . it's just a worm in the back of my brain.
Alright . . I'm going to take you into a private matter . . LOL!
It will have been 20 days . .almost 21 . . THAT'S 3 WEEKS folks . . since I have seen my H when he arrives again. I'm the type of person that has an EXTREMELY high sexdrive . . so needless to say I'm start to chomp at the bit a touch. At the same time . .I DO NOT WANT "sloppy seconds" or to be his one night stand nor do I want my heart broken . . .
I guess that's the real point of asking how I should behave around him. Any thoughts?
Nothing new . . . still waiting for an answer on my last couple of questions
I know this could've waited until tomorrow but frankly I'm bored. HAHA! I've e-mailed all my close friends and browsed as many sites as I can stomach
So tomorrow evening I will be starting my "fast" . . . here's that link again in case any of you want to jump in . . . Prayer Circle
That's that!
I did talk to my H today, I don't know if I mentioned that yet. LOL Nothing really, just a quick convo. pleasant enough . . he told me their plans for this weekend (his mother and sister and him that is). That's it. . . I don't ever get a good feel for the sitch with him because our convo's are always so short. Which is good . . . I don't get all reactached and he can't make a crapload of empty promises. But I also can't tell if he's changing his mind. That's why I am sitting back and riding this wave . . .maybe I'll get carried out to sea or beached .. but either way I'll be fine.
That's all I have to say I think . . . can't wait for some answers about this weekend. Thanks guys!
Then he has obviously fallen out of his tree and hit every "stupid" branch on the way down.
Quote: I DO NOT WANT "sloppy seconds" or to be his one night stand
Then visualize him in the sleeper of that truck with Cassie all this time and that should take care of your sex drive.
Emily,
He has cheated on you, lied to you and slapped your heart around repeatedly just since WE have known you. IMHO, let the man see his kids, be nice and friendly and don't give off attitude...but remain at arms length. He put you there! Remember? That man has a lot to do to prove himself and he'd best get busy. It should take a while. He should also have STD test results in hand before he expects to climb back into your marriage bed.
If he actually struts his ass up in your house expecting more, his lack of respect for you will be blatantly obvious.
Quote: Then he has obviously fallen out of his tree and hit every "stupid" branch on the way down.
Amy . . I think I just lost 10 lbs for how frickin' hard I laughed at this. Don't know why but it struck my funny bone!
Quote: Then visualize him in the sleeper of that truck with Cassie all this time and that should take care of your sex drive.
AMEN sister! It certainly does take care of it when it comes to him . . but holy crow . . . TV commercials are startin' ta get to me (Like the BowFlex one . . WOAH). . LOL That was TMI! SORRY GUYS!
Quote: He should also have STD test results in hand before he expects to climb back into your marriage bed.
Actually I had my doctor test me at my last appointment. . . and everything is fine. But I definately agree with you there! It's sad that I had to ask my doctor to retest me because of my H isn't it?
Quote: If he actually struts his ass up in your house expecting more, his lack of respect for you will be blatantly obvious.
But we'll cross that bridge if we get there.
I hope we don't.
Amy haven't we seen that this man has no remorse? Or maybe just HUGE b@lls . . . That's exactly what he'll do . . . I don't know if it's out of disrespect or because he doesn't want to have to face what he has done to me . . and if our R just moves along then he doesn't feel he has to?!?!?!?
I have a feeling we will be crossing this bridge. I'm telling you though . . if he gets me alone for any amount of time . . . Oh man . . I'll try my hardest . . . .
Quote: TV commercials are startin' ta get to me (Like the BowFlex one . . WOAH). . LOL That was TMI! SORRY GUYS!
In that case, watch for the Herpes medicine commercials. That should cool your jets.
Whatever it takes, but I'm telling you, if you don't want to feel lower than a grasshopper's ass (oops!...that not meant to dis OUR Grasshopper) come Monday, you might want to think on all the reasons it would NOT be a good idea to sleep with him.
If nothing else, if he's there and you get all hot and bothered, hop online and go to adultfr... NO! NO! THAT'S THE BAD AMY COMING OUT. DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
I'm just teasing .
Hop online and come here and review your own threads. That'll throw a bucket of cold water on everything.
...I would be very careful EMILY. RE ; the sex issue. Cold showers and other forms of supression work well. I think you will be stroking his ego far tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much if you let him have you. Just like you said you are special .... I have had to have STD tests too during my M b/c of my H. {{{ not good, do they even care where she has been?}}}}You said yours all came back good lets keep it that way.Just my opinion though honey...
My H called 2/3 times during the day this most recent time to "see" my results. I dunno what he was so worried about " He" supposedly used a condom... I was scared, the more he called to be honest. Thank God everything turned out negative.. . He just needs to know that you ... ARE NOT A DOORMAT!!!!!!!! I KNOW it is hard but pray about it and I am sure you will understand. You are still sounding strong underneath the surface, I am proud of you. Keep up the hard work... God Bless...
Quote: It must be great to ML to someone who thinks of you as an inferior lover.
I will say that for every bad thing he said about me while we were fighting he has said one for her.
I do definately see what you are saying.
I honestly think I'm going to just call off the weekend. I can't do it, I know that.
You can give me all the GREAT reasons not to do it . . and I'll make an excuse why it's OK.
This is where infedelity becomes a problem for me. If I can't be with my own H . . . then I just think "oh, I'll get it somewhere else . . what's the difference? I can't trust not to get something from him anymore than any other guy." I WON'T DO ANYTHING . . . please don't freak out. But this point where I want to ML (and let me tell you no toy can make up for it) and can't get it . . is the point where my brain kicks into finding excuses.
Evil evil flesh I know. When he calls today or tomorrow . . I'm just going to ask him to not come. Maybe on his next two days off in two or three weeks. I do feel bad he hasn't seen Kiya in a month (the lasttime he was here he didn't get to hold her because it was late when he arrived and the morning wasn't good.) OH well . . that's his problem. His mother and sister can wait to see her . . they are only coming because he "needs" a ride I garuntee it.
The closer this weekend gets the tighter the knot in my stomach grow. . . I can't stand it. I was doing so great . . . I just hate him, he puts me in the worst positions.
Every time we lie awake After every hit we take Every feeling that I get But I haven’t missed you yet
Every roommate kept awake By every sigh and scream we make All the feelings that I get But I still don't miss you yet
Only when I stop to think about it
I hate everything about you Why do I love you I hate everything about you Why do I love you
Every time we lie awake After every hit we take Every feeling that I get But I haven’t missed you yet
Only when I stop to think about it
I hate everything about you Why do I love you I hate everything about you Why do I love you
Only when I stop to think About you, I know Only when you stop to think About me, do you know
I hate everything about you Why do I love you You hate everything about me Why do you love me
I hate You hate I hate You love me
I hate everything about you Why do I love you
(I hate) Everything About You - Three Days Grace
Ok . . now then . . .
The more I sit and the more I get nervous about this weekend. The more I think about my H and everything that has happened. The more I realize that I am happier without him. . . I think.
I mean when he leaves it turns me upside down for awhile but I always find such peace . . . when he comes back it pushes ALL my buttons sends me into some kind of hyperdrive . . it wears me down and then he ALWAYS leaves again.
SO . . . WTH am I doing? WHY AM I STILL HERE???
That's the whole truth today.
As I was sitting outside lastnight praying . . . I realize that I really don't care if he comes back . . . I'm decently happy without him. I'd rather he stayed gone . . it hurts to try and trust him. . it's hard. I just prayed and prayed . . . and I still feel the same way. WHAT AM I DOING?
That was TMI! SORRY GUYS!
.
.... I have had to have STD tests too during my M b/c of my H. {{{ not good, do they even care where she has been?}}}}You said yours all came back good lets keep it that way.Just my opinion though honey...
My H called 2/3 times during the day this most recent time to 