Lou, This is exactly what I've been trying to get at with you. Your approach to BB IS still you trying to get her to do things your way. Even though you at times reason it out to...I'm pointing out inconsistencies, or flaws in her reasoning etc.
It really doesn't matter. Drop the reins...let her do things in her own manner and stop trying to guide her to understand things from your POV.....at all. I think Lil hit on the perfect word that would draw the parallel between you and my dad (since you've asked) it comes across as nit-picking.
I can guarantee you my Dad believes he's helping, when he's trying to show me or my mom how things "should" be done...when really Lou, from our perspectives...he's just showing us that we are doing it wrong because it's not done his way.
Honestly, it's something for you to put some thought into. If BB can go to church by herself and go from church to church as much as she pleases...why do you have to go with her? You have the option of finding a church YOU like and sticking with it. Nothing says you have to go together. If BB doesn't care for the fact that you don't attend to gether, that's HER problem to deal with not yours. You have the right to worship wherever YOU choose, and if you like the stability of one church over several....then that is your option.
Got a new computer today. It's nice. We ML Sunday (And the crowd goes wild!) The only thing I can say is that on Sat, I was pretty sullen. W noticed. We went to see an Addams family type house and while she noticed the great spaciousness, I noticed the sagging floors, stinky basement and rotting wiring. I said my piece without apology. But I realized that this is her fantasy. She wanted to corner me, to make me say whether we could buy it; I wouldn't have it. She asked me whether I thought it was haunted (she really believes in this sort of thing.) I just replied that my heart sank the minute I walked in, and it wasn't only about the physical rottenness of the place. We were doing her thing together, and she liked that enough to want me the next morning (first time on over 2 mos.
All that stuff I said about her last week I take back . Just kidding, but it's amazing how LM smooths over your ourlook. She's now gone for three days, then comes her period, so I'm out of luck for at least two weeks. But right now, that's OK. Now I look back and woner what all the fuss was about. But I know the fuss will be back.
Paul, BP down 10 points. Paul, after some ML/nookie my BP drops 8 points.
She asked me whether I thought it was haunted (she really believes in this sort of thing.) Oh Paul, I feel sorry for her and you. There is enough to keep a person on their toes w/o that extra unmeasurable stuff. Life is a lot better w/o things we can't control. BB talks about ghosts.
There's an auditorium filled with people attending the Annual Paranormal Convention. The speaker asks, "Is there anyone here who has ever heard a ghost...raise your hand." About 90 percent of the people raise their hands. "Is there anyone here who has ever seen a ghost . . . raise your hand." About three quarters of the audience raise their hands. "Is there anyone here who has ever talked with a ghost?" About half of the people raise their hands. "How about, is there anyone here who has ever had sex with a ghost?" Everyone drops their hands, except for one elderly man, way in the back. "Sir, that's amazing! Please come up here." The elderly man hobbles up to the stage, some people help him up the stairs and he approaches the speaker, who says, "We'd all like to hear about your experience...please tell us about how it was...how it was to have sex with a ghost." The old man, his hand cupped around his ear as the speaker talked to him, says, "Ghost? I thought you said, 'goat.'"
Quote: She asked me whether I thought it was haunted (she really believes in this sort of thing.)
Oh Paul, I feel sorry for her and you. There is enough to keep a person on their toes w/o that extra unmeasurable stuff. Life is a lot better w/o things we can't control. BB talks about ghosts
Ghosts are real. It doesn't matter whether you believe in them or not.
And, Lou, all I can say to this
Quote: Life is a lot better w/o things we can't control.
is "Huh?" Life is made up MOSTLY of things we can't control. Or hadn't you noticed?
Re Lil Life is made up MOSTLY of things we can't control. Or hadn't you noticed? I noticed and remove myself from several situations where my control is not valid or ineffective.
There are situations where it is not good to withdraw very long and cases where direct confrontation is the only proper thing to do. Doing what and where is the choice a rational person has to make.
Same thing with ghosts, I don't give the concept any power or credibility so don't buy into the idea of ghosts.
If something happens around a house or a location that is not explainable, I don't like the idea of giving a reason for the happening/event to a ghost.
Sometimes cause and effect is difficult to determine. Why say a ghost did something or why something happened was influenced by a ghost. I think real life is stranger and more varied than fiction in many ways and some of life's events are not going to be understood fully.
In our case, BB believes certain things happen around our house because a ghost influenced the event in some ways. I say some one's actions or in-actions caused the event to happen or I place no cause/effect on the event.
If something happened that isn't readily explainable, I would rather hear a few of "likely" provable by replication, options, rather than correlate cause and effect to a ghost like entity. Sometimes no answer for now, is a better choice.
To me a person's spirit lives on in our mind as a product of "our" thoughts, from actual experiences, things we were told, or things we read. That is just my opinion and how I live. The FOO of Lou included ghosts and their associated problems. It was extra baggage I dumped. Life is dramatic/complicated enough. I don't need the extra good or bad drama/uncertainties/potential rewards of ghosts.
To each his/her own. I am not trying to change anyone's opinion.
I don't want to change any-one's perception of ghosts. Mine is they don't exist. They are good story material, symbols that have to do with a common mental process.
Perhaps this website should be called "Ghostbusters"
W is coming home today and I just wanna grab her and hug her and squeeze her, so I will do just that.
Getting back to the "cultural differences" bit, W lamented as we were embracing that "D6 doesn't love me anymore, because he left to watch cartoons. It is a fact that W would just assume put our love life on hold until D6 finally decides that it is time for him to sleep alone. That shows incredible patience on her part, and perhaps great impatience on my part.
Regarding ghosts. They exist in the sense that they are firmly implanted in W's head. She says that some ghosts live in our current house but that they are fairly benign and don't bother us. I am a Christian so I believe that something is going on out there, but I try to be flexible enough to accept that others, even those close to me, may take a different view.
Even though W believes in fate, she also will work very hard when she is motivated to do so. She works hard to get kids to do homework, to speak Japanese and so forth. She is drop dead gorgeous and works hard to keep up her appearances. So though she believes fate has a big hand in determining our destiny, she sees the value in hard work.
Lou: Control is an illusion. I can prove it to you. So... I agree with Lil.
Paul:
If it makes your wife feel better looking at houses.... go with her. It doesn't mean you have to BUY... it means you are OPEN to her ideas. I really don't think she'd want to rush into a purchase without your input, and I'm willing to bet my hat on it. But the fact that you are willing to explore would mean a great deal to her. The fact that the house issue has been SUCH an issue for such a long time means you are dealing with something that is very important to her. That doesn't mean she can't be reasonable. Give her specs, man, give her specs. She'll find something within your 'specs.' And if she does... don't make it an impassable hurdle for her. Give a little.
As for ghosts. Well. I could go into this... but I won't unless you ask me. And I think I could put it in terms you 'get,' being a Christian and all.
Anyway. Glad you got laid and your wife is coming home. Giving her a great big hug would be nice. Read Happy Giants latest post on MoJo's thread. I think it would help you.
. Just kidding, but it's amazing how LM smooths over your ourlook. She's now gone for three days, then comes her period, so I'm out of luck for at least two weeks. But right now, that's OK. Now I look back and woner what all the fuss was about. But I know the fuss will be back.
