Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Mama'a still rockin....

Hi Mama, Your horoscopes are 1000 times better than the ones available in my paper... Feel free to post Scorpio to my thread, especially if they're as encouraging as all that Glad to see you doing so well mama. My H is MIA, and it is hard. I am praying a lot, so think good thoughts for me. Meanwhile, enjoy! There is nothing that would make me happier than your DB success (except for maybe my own some day!)

Hi All,
Haven't posted much recently as there is really nothing earth shattering going on. I fear I am still stuck in Limbo. Wednesday H came home early so we could drive out to my parent's to pick up our D10. D9 stayed at a friends so since we just had S5, we took the convertable. It was a beautiful afternoon flying down the highway with the wind blowing thru our hair. When we started out, H was extremely quite and lost in thought. I got the feeling (now this just could be my overactive imagination) that something happened with OW; like maybe she was pissed that he left early to go with me. After about 45 minutes he "snapped" out of it and started talking and acting like himself.

Thursday I had to drop my car off for some repair work, kids and I had to walk home 3 miles. The car was done @ 3 p.m., so I called H to see if he was on his way home, no answer. When he wasn't here by 4, kids and I walked back to pick up the car then had to drive to pickup D9. H called my cell around 4:45 saying how sorry he was that I had to walk, that he was planning on coming home and taking me. I calmly stated that since I didn't hear from him, I decided to walk before the place closed and that I liked the exercise anyway. When we got home he was very nice and asked if I wanted to sit outside with him.

Other than that, not much to report. I really couldn't tell you if he is still involved with OW. He seems to be trying with me though. The problem I have now is a total lack of trust. I am always suspicious of his every move. I wonder if he is acting nice to me and initiating hugs and kisses and doing nice things for me as a cover up for his lies. I wonder if by me tolerating and accepting his behaviour and "acting as if" that he is actually exploiting my good will.

Tomorrow we are going away on a last mini vacation before the kiddies go back to school. He seems very excited about it. Maybe he and I will have a chance to "talk", will keep ya'all posted.

Maybe he is "acting as if" too. Regardless spending time together is good. Have a fun and safe mini vacation.

If you choose to talk, choose the right time. Timing is just as important as what you say sometimes.

Real quick update.
H worked out this morning. His phone has been missing since. We just got home and I checked it online. He made a call this morning at 7:30 a.m. - So, Jokerman you are correct. H is also "acting as if" but actually is still involved with her. This sucks, here we are on a nice family vacation and he still has to call her.

My heart is beating so fast right now. I want to confront him about it but I don't want to start WWIII. Help!!

Mama,
Forget the OW! You are on vacation and this is a time to create the most wonderful of times together. Let her have her stinking phone call, you got the real thing. If you let the OW destroy this chance to make a positive impact on your R then it is you, not H, who is sinking the ship right now. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh cuz I know what kind of s*** you're dealing with here. My W used to make the odd phonecall to the OP when we were away and I just let it sail over my head. Again, when they have to sneak around to talk to the OP they are degrading themselves more than us! Lastly, if she (OW) is really pissed with him for going, you can be a ray of sunshine and who's he gonna want to be with? Stay positive, stay focused and have some fun, fun, fun (with or without him).

whatisis has a point. I assume from the beginning the OW has been trying to be something you are not. Now is your chance to let your true self shine and be everything she is not - which is a GOOD thing.

Thanks guys, your posts made me feel alot better. It is just so frustrating.

Mama! They are right and you know it. So freaking what if he calls her. The situation has to change, but THAT part of the situation is one you have little control over and if you let it sabatoge your efforts to have a great time/present a GREAT side of yourself, you will only serve to continue the crappy dynamic that you have now.

The biggest change I think any of us can make is to finally get past the need for everything in our R to be ok before we can let loose and have fun. Michelle calls it GAL, but I think it can apply to all levels of our lives post-affair. You just need to let go of all that crap he's doing or may be thinking. Just have fun and if he can't fully be there to have fun to, f--k him... er...uh... sorry, I know you'd like to...lol.

GH

So hey mama! are you having fun? are we having fun yet?? You are the best you know. I hope you are letting loose and going for it. I am rooting for you. You are irristable. H will get it at some point. But don't you worry, you have fun now! You just be yourself.

Not that I believe in these things but here is my horoscope for today. It seems to be right on the money.

No, love's not a business, but a relationship does take work. Your challenge now is to be both hardworking and organized about it. Ask a friend who's successful in love for a little mentorship. -

Right now it might be hard to get a clear view of your life -- so don't obsess about getting a big-picture perspective on every little thing. You're in the thick of the action, doing your thing and feeling more capable than ever. Just keep your head down and keep going. To stop and pull back now might be tempting, but it will interrupt your flow and won't gain you any edge. Now isn't the time to analyze things, so you're better off just letting them be.


Yesterday I let go of the fact that H is still calling OW. Who knows, maybe they are just friends now and he is calling her about work. Right?

Anyway, we had a good day. Took our two daughters to their first day of school then took our son to see his new preschool. Played in the park, ran some errands and went out to lunch. Had a really nice time. I asked him the night before if he was happy that he decided to stay married, he said yes, he loves his family and we are having so much fun together. He told me to stop worrying about things and asking him about things, everything will be fine. We also did alot of talking of all the projects we want to do on the house as well as talking about what it would be like if we moved away to a small town.

Last night we took a walk together and went to another park with our son, then came home and sat outside for awhile. Then we came inside and watched TV together. When he went to bed I got a big hug, a kiss on the lips and ILY.

This morning he had to go back to work (ughh, OW is there). As you know we write notes for eachother in the morning since he leaves way before I get up. I had written what a great time I had and how sad I was that he had to go back to work. I also added, "of course I wanted to jump your bones, but that's another story" - too bold? Maybe, but I want him to know I miss him.

Here is the note I got back:
"Good Morning Honey, I'm sad that I have to go back to work. I so much want to stay home. I had a great vacation with you people, I love you all so much!"