Emily, if I wake up in the morning to read that you have allowed him to sucker you right back in, I am gonna flip right the hell out...do you understand that? I do not need to flip out on a Monday morning, girl.
Quote: My H just called . . he's crying and upset. Says he just doesn't want to hurt anyone. . . I think he'd love to come back to me but doesn't want to hurt her. He's as much as said that.
Oh. Boo Hoo for him.
Quote: I don't know what to do. Sit on the side lines and watch it play out. He said he wouldn't be getting remarried . . not after how badly he's screwed us up. I don't know what to think. He's going to call me again later . . . Hope all goes well. Any advice on how to proceed here?
Like GH said, if there is real abuse then be careful what you do.
You're not going to talk to him right away. He needs to go through whatever he's going through and THEN when he realizes what he's screwing up and ON HIS OWN ends it with OW and stays consistent for several weeks you, the new and improved Emily, will be in a position to decide if he is the person you really want.
He is not even close to being remorseful It's just guilt right now. Whatever he says will change tomorrow.
And you aren't ready either, you have a lot of work to do.
Quote: Emily, if I wake up in the morning to read that you have allowed him to sucker you right back in, I am gonna flip right the hell out...do you understand that? I do not need to flip out on a Monday morning, girl.
Emily PLEASE don't make Amy flip out! It is not a pretty sight! People could get hurt around her!
He wants to come back and said he wanted to break it off with the OW whether he and stay together or not. He said he doesn't love her but feels bad about hurting her because she tells him about how much she loves him all the time. I just said, "How do you think I feel after 4 years and two kids." So he says, "I'm sure you hate me." I said, "NO I love you VERY much."
If he's honestly going to be different I'd gladly get back with him. But there are real changes that have to be made. Does that mean that he and I couldn't "see each other" . . .
I don't think so.
I think I've gone past the point of no return with all of this though. Now that I've told people most of the whole story (like you all) . . . I'll never be able to take him back with guilt and regret and getting screamed out.
So yell if you want to . . . but know now it will help nothing.
I haven't been suckered back into the same sitch. I'm not even sure as to what's going on right now. I don't know. I feel like even if I wanted to . . I couldn't take him back because of my friends and family. I don't want to lose all of them . . BUT . . I'd love to work on my marriage.
I'm trying to stay objective . . BUT I honestly don't know what I should be doing? DO I give him ultimatums? (I.E. We can only get back together if you do X . . . ) I don't know . . WOW . . . soooo confused.
I don't want to shun him away into her arms . . . but I don't want to be stupid and go right back to the way everything was.
Oh also he said it really made him think that they drove past Eagle Rock . . .which is where we spent our honeymoon.
He said it really made him miss me.
I told him I thought that would be REALLY tough.
(If you read this before I edited it go ahead and laugh with me . . . it's just too early)
he got his first paycheck at the begining of this week so . . he could have filed those papers and didn't.
He asked if we couldn't burn them together or something. I told him sure. He asked if he could stop here when he gets off the road this weekend. I told him he was more than welcome to come see his girls. He got sort of upset and said, "Can't I come see you . . . don't you want to see me?!?!"
