OK . . . I talked to him today. I guess the guy that he was out with wasn't suppose to be out because he was over his time on the road or something like that. SO . . . the lady confused the messages, this is coming from my H mind you.
Monday he goes out with the guy that called me today. He got back into PA today and he's supposedly coming here early tomorrow morning. Because the guy that he is going out with lives closer to me than to where he is at downstate. I feel a little like a smacked a$$ . . . but it was an honest mistake and given my H's track record . . .
I know I'm supposed to be believing what he says. And I was until that guy called and threw everything into the spin cycle. Doesn't mean that my H hasn't just been killing time down there and has been lying about being on the road. Maybe he was with OW. Who knows For now though . . . I have to take his word at face value and go with the flow. I am terribly disappointed in the whole sitch. I guess we'll see where it goes. I am keeping my thoughts to myself. AND . . . I have honestly "put my behind in the past" (sorry guys I had to do it. We watch far too many Disney movies around this house ) So starting tomorrow . . . I have to have my DBing game face back on and be a loving wonderful person. One that I'm not even sure I'm ready to be.
Emily I don't get on here very often these days and am sorry that I don't you need to stop and slow down you are driving yourself crazy how on earth do you think he is going to find time to be with someone when he is on the road driving and driving with another driver for goodness sake my WAS is a long distance truck driver he drives those big double tanker things there is a bed in the back of the truck I have been in the truck with him through three states and back in two days - he doesn't have time for a toilet break let alone time to talk to some women he met up with somewhere. slow down Emily - there are some absolutely great people on here helping you but you are allowing your thoughts to run away with you. you are worried about him supporting you - well that is all within your control get the qualifications you need and get a part-time job when your baby is a bit older it is not impossible. buy yourself a car when you get a job it doesn't have to be next week or next month make a plan - qualifications, job, save and buy a car sometime over the next four years. work from home - look for something to do when the baby is a little older
but Emily stop looling for the negatives and try and focus on the positives he put his wedding band on he stayed with you he is working he wants to work this out you thought he had lied and YOU were wrong because you only think of the negatives he called her once and to me his reason sounds very plausible he chucked the damn phone across the road he is trying there are no guarantees in this world Emily but please try to look for the positives here and stop focusing on the negatives
I know that I need to settle my mind. . . I slept horribly last night. My H called me and he's about 2.5 hours away. I am NERVIOUS as all get out! I just don't want to make things worse. . . I was looking forward to having three weeks away from him. I think he was picking up on that feeling, I didn't mean for him to. But yesterday when he was all excited and telling me he was going to be home today . . . I just couldn't make myself get as excited as he was. I hate him spending time down in that area, where the OW lives.
He said he wants us to move because then it would be like a "fresh start". We could get away from everyone and everything and start over. Yeah . . . I guess. I am just worried about striking that far out on my own with nothing to my name. I know that as bj I need to do all of those things. . . and plan to. But it will take me a LONG time to save up enough money to even buy a beater of a car. So . . I guess maybe he'll have to wait.
I guess we will see how things go. I need to put on my happy face. . . but I am having problems. I'm trying. . . 2 hours left. I'll be around.
My H is frustraighted and said he's not spending another weekend like this or he's leaving.
I JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM. . .I can't compete with the thinner OW. I feel like crap.
I had my mind set perfect. It was going to be a great weekend. I had changed my thinking . .
AND THEN . . .
He's got a HUGE mark on his neck. He says it's from his little bro messing around and wrestling and such. WHICH WAS ALWAYS THE GOOD EXCUSE BEFORE! I just can't swallow it. WHAT DO I DO??????????????? ANYONE????????
You did not feel ready for this and then he shows up with another freakin mark on his neck?! I'm sorry, but those "wrestling with my brother" excuses went out in high school.
Tell him to carry his ass up the road and that you are filing for child support on Monday! Then DO IT.
When he's ready to act like a real man, tell him you MIGHT want him. In the meantime, we'll help YOU to stand up.
He could do so much to make help you... *^@%^%*$^%%#&(_$%&%& But he does this!
If I were you, and God forgive me this might be wrong so please wait for another opinion, but I'd tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out.
I'm sorry, Emily. But you are way too special to be treated like this.
Well he got mad about a half hour ago and went storming out the door as fast as he could. He didn't take the car . . . he took his skateboard out to be by himself. (That's what started the fight.)
He's being a total A$$hole this weekend. The whole I'm gonna treat you better and I'll do anything because I love you . . . is out the window. He's back to being ignorant and mean.
Jeesh.
With the mark on his neck again. He still swears up and down that he's done with the OW. But he get ANGRY that I don't believe him . . and he's treating me like dirt.
He as much as told me this weekend that he enjoyed ML with her better than with me anyway.
He'll probably leave tonight. This is probably the end for me.
He said that I have been, "annoying the hell out of him today" because I can't leave anything alone.
I was GOING TO LEAVE IT ALONE . . . but he showed up with a big "bruise" on his neck. From his 17 year old brother choking him. Now I know they do mess around . . . BUT that was always the excuse before and I always just trusted him then come to find out they were really marks from OW. Then today he basically tells me he enjoys her ML more? WTF????????
What would any of you think?????????????????
Probably exactly what I am.
Then he gets EVEN more mad because I tried to tell him I wanted him to be happy and if that ment stepping aside I would but that I did want us to try and work things out. He says, "Well then why did you even say you'd step aside. Maybe I'm just not happy with ANYONE."
Hasn't taken off his ring yet . . but I can feel it coming.
I asked what happened to the sweet guy he was *and was starting to be again* and he says, "I left him back in highschool . . it's right up the road why don't you go find him there." WTF?????????
I am sooooo frustraighted! PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME MORE ADVICE! Not that I don't trust you Amy . . but you even recommended that I wait for a second opinion!!!
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