"Chrome, instead of just thinking OK she's O'd thats it remember she can most likely O multiple times. She has pent up her sexuality for a very long time and she is finally starting to let that out, no wonder she is Oing so quickly."
My thoughts exactly. She is finally letting go, and she is finding that she does have desire afterall.
"Like Lil said (I think it was Lil? could've been Mojo) SHE is responsible for her O. If she is coming too quick she will be the one to learn how her body works and learn to prolong or slow things down if she wants to, or like the rest of us, learn she can fire one off in the first 15 seconds and then go into long slow leisurely mode and get some deeper more fulfilling O's."
That would be nice. She has pretty much assumed a passive role (with the exception of grabbing my hand and ...). It would be nice if she were to really get into exploring her sexuality.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"The good news is that if this whole professor deal doesn't work out you can always do porno films. Plus, with all the HDW tutelage you have received on here you will be ALL SET!"
Hmmm. Dr. Dick S. Biggus as a screen name for the porno film? Or I guess I could be the professor in a porno version of Gilligan's Island. Who should play the other parts? LOL
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"My W has developed a dislike of receiving oral, primarily because she feels guilty about the fact that she does not want to return the favor. Yes, a whole other discussion."
I am having a similar discussion. My W absolutely refuses to accept oral. She says it makes her feel icky thinking about me licking her down there, because she thinks it will gross ME out. I've tried to tell her that I should be the one to decide that, but she is adamant. Well, so am I. It WILL happen, but I'm going to work up to it.
"Even then, insertion is always painful, no matter how slowly I go."
What is the reason for the pain?
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Just a quick note. The kinky comment was intended to be a joke, not a feeling that there was untoward behavior occuring.
And Brian, I do want to echo BF's comments. To awaken that passion in your W requires a lot of work with very little payoff for a long time, mostly on yourself. And when I say work on yourself, I don't mean just do whatever you want. There has to be some understanding of what women like in a man. I can't say that I am there yet, but I have been trying to get there for awhile. But you know, most of it comes naturally. When we shed all this silly culturally-based nice-guy crap and act like a man, women respond by being women. I know that wasn't very profound, but that's how I see it.
Tell you what, why don't you try this. The next time you engage in sexual activity, go down on her. Ignore her protests unless she gets truly angry. If that happens, have a frank, honest, open discussion about it right there. Don't apologize or placate, just be direct. She may still not go for it. She may get really angry or cry. Don't get abusive about it (I'm not really worried that you will), but let her know that unless she has a really good reason why you shouldn't do that, she shouldn't b!tch. So give her a chance to give her reasons, if they are stupid, say so.
I don't know, maybe that's too much, but that is how I've been handling things. Granted, I still haven't done oral, but that's not really the point. Getting her to open up her sexual desire and attraction for you is.
I hope that makes sense.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
She has pretty much assumed a passive role (with the exception of grabbing my hand and ...). It would be nice if she were to really get into exploring her sexuality.
That is still a start Chrome and I know you know that, but just keep reminding yourself of that. It may not take long at all for things to really start clicking for her and then again, it may require a lot of your patience. Either way, I've been pondering the idea that it's a self esteem issue with her (thus burying her drive) as opposed to ND. Compliment what she does for you sexually, A LOT. Tell her how incredibly good at it she is. Build her confidence. There is a lot of merit in focusing on her pleasure as well and showing her that this is about more for you than just your own pleasure, but I'm thinking an equally important aspect is building her sexual confidence, which will in turn make her more willing to try new things and be more open with you.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Had a good night last night overall. Made the deal I mentioned on Karen's thread. I do hear what you are saying Heather and I'll make sure I do validate her efforts. Does screaming really loudly "that feels really good!" count? Anyway, she actually did a solo HJ last night for the first time. Normally I have to help her a little bit, but this time I couldn't because she tied my arms to the headboard. It took a lot for me not to break the headboard. Anyway, when it was her turn I did some foreplay, but then couldn't find the astroglide when it seemed like time to do that sort of stimulation. I was searching around the bed in the dark and jokingly stuck a finger up you know where and said "is it in there?" before looking under the sheets. Apparently that did it for her because she grabbed my hand and shoved it back down there. Before I could even think about techniques, she O'd. Oh well, that's the way it goes.
Feeling reaally depressed and angry this morning though. Sucks.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Why in the world are you feeling angry and depressed?! I would think that right now you'd be happy.
She appears to be making great strides towards understanding she DOES have sexual desire for you...and she's showing it. Now that she's made this discovery you two will have LOTS of time to fine-tune....with time. Try not to rush things towards EXACTLY where YOU want them to be. She's going to need some time to become accustomed to what she's discovering about herself...and to get to know herself a bit better sexually, so she can learn to control some things too. Sit back for awhile and coast...stop trying to steer right now.
Does screaming really loudly "that feels really good!" count?
It certainly counts....but be more specific to her where you can....how soft her hands are, how she does a certain 'thing' that drives you wild....things that are specific to *her*. That way she builds confidence in herself in the unique ways that make her who she is sexually.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Anyway, she actually did a solo HJ last night for the first time. Normally I have to help her a little bit, but this time I couldn't because she tied my arms to the headboard. 
It took a lot for me not to break the headboard. 
Anyway, when it was her turn I did some foreplay, but then couldn't find the astroglide when it seemed like time to do that sort of stimulation. I was searching around the bed in the dark and jokingly stuck a finger up you know where and said "is it in there?" before looking under the sheets. Apparently that did it for her because she grabbed my hand and shoved it back down there. Before I could even think about techniques, she O'd. Oh well, that's the way it goes.
