I’m feeling a little to melancholy today to offer you anything. Sorry.
Yesterday, I was having breakfast with W. I was pretty deep in thought, and when asked what I was thinking, I didn’t really have an answer. I quipped, “A beautiful mind.” W kinda agreed with me. It’s not very nice when your feelings are seen in such a cynical way, is it?
Not quite sure if I understand. Were you and your wife saying you are a little nutso too? I have come to believe that every person on the planet struggles hard to get thrugh this life. Some people, who feel secure in themselves, see it as matter of fact, those of us who are insecure are stunned. I loved that movie but remind myself that now that better meds are available even John Nash takes them (I think I read that somewhere).
I'm feeling much better having spoken to my Dr. who treats me like a peer that she is consulting (the way any doc should treat an adult patient!) Also my friend, since I was 4yo (and who is one of several people who I share a near telepathy when it comes to each other's moods) called. We only said hi because I was expecting a call but it was enough to remind me of myself and center me. The doc and I agreed to try an every other day prozac and a couple's session.
You'd be surprised, I bet, at how much you helped. Thanks Andy
Oh no, not at all! We who are viewed as nutso once in a while must stick together! We are not going to let even those closest to us get us off center right?
Ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm leaving tomorrow for 3 weeks. We saw my therapist together. She encouraged my H to "lean into the relationship". I asked him after the session on Monday if we could spend some time hugging last night. He was having dinner with collegues got home late and stayed up late, late after i went to bed. He went to a conference today and at one time talked about coming home after his talk. He could have been here by 5p. He just called at 7p our time (he knows I like to eat by 6p) to "ask" if he could stay for dinner there. In the meantime we are buying a house and a mortgage specialist was going to try to come over to see us tonight before I leave tomorrow. I told him this but said he needed to make up his own mind about what to do. He siad in his bad little boy tone that he would come home. It takes 1 1/2 hours so our appointment will need to be around 9p. So much for any time together. His words and his actions just don't match but he acts so innocent, like he hasn't got a clue. This is a painful send off from someone who in the doctor's office said our goal was to stay better connected and to talk more often while I was away. ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! If I say anything about this he will dive into the abyss of depression so I will ease up on him. I wish I were already gone. I don't know how to step contructively with this man. My Dr is encouraging "I statements" and to not rescue him when he goes for the depression. Right now I can't imagine how to formulate one. Any ideas?
Maybe i can just smile at his same ole, same ole. I'm just to tired to get all shook up plus I have a lot of packing to do. Maybe the financial brains (me) will just leave them to discuss the mortgage on their own and they can leave me material to review. Here I am using all my packing energy to try to center myself. There is no one else on the planet that he would treat so inconsiderately. He knocks himself out for everyone else. What an honor I have!
Wish that edit feature worked...then when I had an "and another thing", I wouldn't have to put on another post. Anyway, I have a roommate that I have sex with once in a blue moon, not a husband. So what's the solution, enjoy it?
