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tree,

With the cash, it is yours, so you can do what you want with it. Having said that, he is still your H and you should not keep it from him, i.e. the knowledge. The money is yours.

And Phoe, have you seen this woman...he's an idiot!

IMP

Thanks friends! My gut is telling me to tell him as well. A few around here who are telling me to stash the cash... but I don't think I can do that. Besides... I have TWO count'em! two! bathrooms that need renos.... H does the work, I provide the dough!
IMP... you make me blush!

tree

^

tree..glad to hear all is going well
hey....come to my party and we'll make IMP blush together
A

I'm jumping on the bandwagon a little late -- I agree with your gut. Tell him. But you decide how to use it.

I'll be by later to catch up with you -- getting ready for The Celebration of the Half-Century on Thursday, so I've got some beautifying to do!


wilma

Ok... folks... am having a tad of a meltdown and going slightly nutbar today. Posted this same to Zebra's thread but figured I'd better do same on my own too.

Just found out this AM that today is the day that H is going out for dinner with his small working group for the big project he worked on in which the FC is included along with the female confidante friend, a third regular (girl - all pals I am told), the boss and one other guy. sigh... They are going to a nice restaurant early after work, and I have this urge to do all kinds of nutbar things- calling his work and leaving an anonymous message for FC that she has to be somewhere else at dinner time, like she'd believe it! calling H and telling him I also have a meeting at same restaurant with some friends and I'll see him there... to just freaking showing up, and or asking him to not go. ( too late for the last option actually)

The good thing... he told me where he was going and that it was the working group. I have never asked who was on the working group but did see a list of members. I don't know if he knows that I know! Is this a secret or just an omission of fact? Do I ask after the fact and see if he tells me? I am now soooo wound up. The thought of him spending time across a dinner table with her or even beside her makes me want to throw up and sends me back to DB diet days.. of not wanting to eat, being irritable. And over what?!!! A fantasy that never happened. But it has never been resolved.. so I go nutbar!

Ok.. got to breathe... and not freak... right?!

HMMM Zebra's latet on secrets and trust are big here.. need to deal with this I think!
thanks guys...
tree

Tree
You know what the right thing to do is and that is nothing except ask him if he had a good time when he gets back.He told you so he is trusting you to do just that anything else and next time he may not tell you.Make plans with a friend and go eat at a different place have a good time and don't worry about it.He wouldn't have told you if he didn't want to.

thanks Duchess.... workin on it... realllllllleeeeeeeee workin on it.

Gotcha Randy...
waiting for IMP to chime in with his brand of... um... rant!

Hiya tree,

I just gotta say that I agree with everyone. And, you do to! You've said as much.

It don't mean nothin'

Treat it that way.

I have a strong suspicion that the "fantasy that never happened" was resolved a long time ago - at least as far as your H is concerned.

So, you have to resolve it in your own head.

It's a tall order. You know that I have my own issues, and that I'm still dealing with 'em. I can't honestly say that I'll deal with them any time soon, but the best thing for me is to keep W out of it.

It's kinda like you always say. Don't let him/her suck you into their drama. As hard as it is, you hafta act in a way that shows you're not trying to suck him into yours.

Because rightly or wrongly, this is your drama as far as your H is concerned.

Sucks bad, I know, but what else can you do?

Breath in... Breath out...

repeat as necessary.