This is really something I want because I am tired of asking or looking for book recomendations. I'm sure this is not a new idea around here but here goes...
SO, here is what I would LOVE to see. Could each of you (until we run out of different books) post ONE book other than the obvious DB/DR that you feel helped you, and as much as you can, WHY it helped?
I think posting only one book from each of us will prevent repetitive lists of the same couple books and really may turn up some books I, and hopefully, you have not read yet.
This book REALLY opened my eyes to the communications that were KILLING my marriage, and even my chances at reconciliation. DB/DR were the catalysts for all this, but Mars/Venus is the next most important tool I am using to change my approach to my marriage.
How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together by Susan Page
After DR this book really helped me to make changes in me. It has helped me to find inner peace. I have had a shift in my attitude from frustration, anger and blame to acceptance, tolerance, detachment, forgiveness and compassion.
Make Up Don't Break Up, can't remember the author but it shouldn't be too hard to find.
I don't have it in front of me--actually I gave that and DB to my H--but it gives a bit of perspective about the chase. Another very important component was it's description of how to fight fair. Parts are very close to Michele's DBing philosophy in that it points out that sometimes distance and a temporary break-up are necessary to move ahead with intimacy and stresses that infidelity can often lead to a stronger relationship.
I can't say as I agree with everything in the book and there are some overly psycho-analysis parts in the beginning but I would definitely recommend it nonetheless.
As with anything, I think you can pick the parts of various books that help you and not worry too much about the parts that don't.
Another obvious choice would be The Five Love Languages. This one is critical in terms of relationships because it explains that each person receives and gives love differently.
If I may, I would like to also recommend I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better by Gary and Joy Lundberg. This is a must have book detailing the principles of validation. Very useful.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Ok, THAT'S IT ROB, you violated the one book rule, now GET OUT...lol.
No, mainly what I was after was something other than the same few books posted in list form by 12 different people. I figure all the usual suspects will be exausted in a couple more posts and then we will start seeing some more "unusual" books talked about.
Ok, since I only suggested one book PER POST (or if not, I'm changing my own rule), I will post another book...and get one of the other standards out of the way.
The Four Agreements
This is the one that really started me thinking about my personal journey and work that I could do OUTSIDE the boundaries of my marriage. From this book I learned about how my personal integrity and how I express that can affect my life.
Ok, I had a feeling I'd take a hit for recommending two books, lol. But know I feel like I'm off the hook....
Quote: The Four Agreements
This is the one that really started me thinking about my personal journey and work that I could do OUTSIDE the boundaries of my marriage. From this book I learned about how my personal integrity and how I express that can affect my life.
You know, this is one of the recommended books that I DIDN'T read yet. I will remedy that in the next few weeks....
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Away from your realtionship books if you want a very inspirational book read "No Excuses" By Kyle Maynard. It is the story of a congenital amputee who goes on to become a wrestling champion. He has made no excuses in his life and has been successful at almost everything he's done. If he can overcome all the odds he's faced there is no reason why we all can't come out of our sitchs better people.
