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Morning ANS

You probably would have found an article that I read interesting. Can't remember what magazine it was in, maybe "Cosmopoliton". It was a few months back. The author was a psychologist by the name of
Laura Corn.

She had low sexual desire all her life it didn't particularly bother her. Because of her occupation, she was well aware of what problems this could cause, but not sure of what to do about it. She had pretty much just decided to live with it, but felt really sorry for her longtime, Live-in BF.

She decided that it had been quite a while, so she decided to make love to him every day for a week. She thought she was just doing this for him, but found that the more sex she had, the more she wanted. So...she wrote a book.

But having said that, the book is not about her experiences. Maybe the preface, but the rest is
fun and games for the sexually enlightened. Probably something that would scare the sh** out of your W if you left it around.

I was looking at Amazon.com and I must say, it did look interesting. I'd have to use it as a doorstop right now though. Oh well...

I still think you should try really hard to get
"The Five Love Languages" if at all possible.

I'm in such a totally awesome mood today!
Wish I could send some of that PMA your way!

Talk to you later.

rayanne

Thanks Andy...

If I just had a litle inkling though that he was in any way interested.

T Bone you DO have cool icons..when you are replying scroll down aand look at the lower left side of your screen under Instant Graemlins..... click away (7 max per reply)

Duchess...(who's mission in life is to tell people about graemlins)

There’s that Rayanne radar again!

But this time, I’m not doing so bad. Not freaking out, just feeling a little down. No biggy.

Laura Corn wrote several books. Don’t remember the titles, but they’re all the “rip the envelope open and do what’s inside” type. We actually bought one a few years ago. The “tasks” seemed to fall between “ho-hum been there” and “whoa. don’t wanna go there.”

Since that time, everything seems to fall into the latter category for W, so I definitely can’t go there. It wouldn’t scare her, it would only pressure her and cause her to shut down even more.

I took a brief scan of [I]Love Languages[/b] at the bookstore once. Seems pretty good. I may get it some day, but to be honest, I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job of speaking her language, and if she ever saw the book, it would definitely speak the wrong language!

So. For now… Just doin’ what works. And for now, the best I can do is to go with the flow.

Hmmm, you're ahead of me then ANS. I had never heard of her before. Some ideas were a bit much,huh? Maybe I'll take a peek next time I go to the bookstore. ;)Sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things.

Dutchess,
I know the feeling. I could drape myself nude across H's lawn and all he'd be worried about is
whether or that would hurt the grass.

I don't care, I'm still in a good mood!

rayanne

Rayanne,

Please post a link to that story or simply post it in every section on this board and do it bold and in all caps. Yes, I must admit I am a man but have heard similar stories before. Have even experienced it at my house. It is like the old cereal commercial "try it you'll like it". Men, do your part also. If your W is going to me more open to it, be more open to her needs. We men sometimes focus too much on our own pleasure because of infrequentness. When it is more frequent our motivation turns more to giving pleasure than receiving. Therefore sex is much more fulfilling to W and she wants to participate more often. We all win!!! The problem it is a matter of "the chicken or the egg" and "it takes two to tango". How many marital problems start in the bedroom? I bet quite a few. If couples understood this phenomenon it could actually help some marriages dramatically. Rejection leads to resentment which leads to distance... I think you see where I am going with this. Wow I thought it was some rule that every woman HAD to read Cosmo. j.k.

Here is a quick story. My W was concerned that I was "looking" so she increased the frequency of our intimacy. I therefore got "better", enough so that she was then certain that I was cheating to have "learned" how to pleasure her like that. After much talking and reassuring she was comfortable that it wasn't another woman who helped our love life, it was her. Now years later when the marriage is difficult, the love life is one

Sorry to jump into your thread Andy but this topic hit way to close to home for me and probably many other Dbers.

tbone,
You are very flattering, but I think most people on the board are probably a little tired of seeing my posts. I've been around here a very long time.

Seems like everybody's problems either started with miscommunication,lack of sex, or the combination thereof.

In my case, there was no lack of libido on anybody's part, just some misunderstandings on both sides. H isn't anti-sex. Just not particularly interested in me at the moment.

I don't care too much if people on the board know my private stuff, but I know H does. Out of deference to this, I'd probably better not explain more.

You know tbone, I don't know how to do links anyway. I'm kind of computer illiterate.

rayanne

Hey gang,

Firstly, I want those of you who have been “jumping on” my thread to know that I don’t mind at all. Actually, it’s kinda nice to have some visitors.

Having said that, this thread is finished. I’ve shifted over to Balance

See you there.

Andy