I have followed your thread over on Surviving and didn't realize how much we had in common, especially the five years mark. My husband has been gone that long, but lived with the ow "only" about 3-1/2 years of it.
Your sitch is so encouraging! You have seen your ex more than I see my husband because all my kids are grown and out of the house - he didn't even see them for the most part - for five years! Just recently he started seeing our sons again and I saw him then too, but he's remained somewhat distant from me. Worse of all he's still with the ow. YUCK!
I'm praying that things continue to work out for your marriage. You sound like you're playing it smart.
Friend, I don't mean to hijack your thread...wondering if you would be able to look at my thread in MLC...Babysteps or my imagination??? and tell my your thoughts. I, like you have been going thru this since 2002 and XH and I D. It would be very helpful to me. Thank you Amy
Please don't think I'm not responding to you, I just got back from California yesterday.............and have been sleeping ever since. lol Had a red eye flight back.
I want to respond to each of you so I will have to write back, I have some running around to do and then I will find the time.
" I'm really looking forward to the future but I also have my eyes wide open. "
This should be a mantra we should be saying to ourselves everyday, while piecing our M back together and beyond. Too often, we were living in the past, with our eyes closed, and didn't see what the heck was happening to our M's, and ultimately our family, until it was almost too late (in my case, anyway). Especially, those long-term M's.
All the best on working on your R, FRIEND! Glad to see another successful story.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Hi~! Hope things are going well for you. I had my attention turned to your thread a couple of weeks ago while home from the cottage. I am back and hoped to see an update. I hope that your California trip was fun and that things are going well for you (with our without your H). I hope that if things didn't work out - you will still post and let us know. We are your support group friends and we're here for you.
Well, things are not going all that well. Just don't know anymore, you know that saying, sometimes when the WA's come back its to late. Well, that might just be right.
I'm being patient, but really this is so hard. Unless my Ex can be happy with ME, unless WE can have a future of happiness, I can't do it. I've been alone for 5 years now, I have survived, I didn't die like I thought I would. Why would I want to live with someone not happy. I don't.
My Ex still has issues, I don't know if he will ever be happy, I think he will spend the rest of his life in search of happiness.................never really knowing he already had and has things that should make him happy. I cannot hold my self responsible for his happiness, just can't, it's not fair for anyone.
Anyone else would be happy with his life, he's a depressive, and I don't think he will ever find happiness. It's really sad..............anyway, I will give it more time, but this is really hard.
(((Friend))) Sorry things aren't going as well as you'd hoped, but you may be right about him not being capable of happiness. Whatever you do, don't let him steal yours. You've proven that you can survive without him and there are some things worse than being alone. BTDT.
Hang in there and you know where I'm at if you need to talk.
