That sounds fine, I looked for that little tiny piece of paper I had your number on but can't find it.........you think we could of gotten a bigger piece of paper, lol.
Anyway, life can be full of surprises! Hope everything is well with you and talk to you soon.
I post over on MLC and am so thrilled to read this thread, I can't even find the words. I wish you all the best in what you decide to do. I am sure those words from your husband were like heavenly strains of music in your ears after all you've been through. Five years. Wow. I hope you'll keep sharing. Hope
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Friend Every time i am ready to give up i come across a poster that i haven't met before who has some good news. Today that person was you. i'm really pleased for you. I hope some day to be in your shoes but as my h is already engaged to OW and we are still M I think it may end up that if we ever do get back together he will have to D her first! Why is life so complicated?
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I was referred here from the MLC forum (my W left me) to witness your 5 year journey.
I fervently hope your reconnection with your H goes very well in the weeks and months ahead.
One quick question. In your message you noted this:
Quote: Says he has wanted to come home since about a year after he left, just didn't see how to do it. Felt like 3 different people in his mind.
What are your thoughts about your H "just didn't see how to do it" (come home, return, reconnect, etc)? I can imagine that the spouse who leaves could get so confused as to not know HOW to come home even if he/she wants to. It's the HOW that interests me.
Alot has happened today, but I just wanted to answer your question about the How?
I think he meant it by, feeling stuck, a feeling of to much has happened and it just kept spinning out of his control. He said he just kept getting caught up with her more and more and then didn't see how to back away. Wanted to stop hurting people, and then if he left her, once again more hurt.
He was off and on medication for depression, and then said once he stayed on it, he saw things much clearer.
Hope this helps.
I'm really looking forward to the future but I also have my eyes wide open.
Best to you too, Friend
PS Thanks everyone for all your best wishes and support.
Thank you for taking my question and explaining more.
Quote: I think he meant it by, feeling stuck, a feeling of to much has happened and it just kept spinning out of his control. He said he just kept getting caught up with her more and more and then didn't see how to back away. Wanted to stop hurting people, and then if he left her, once again more hurt.
That sounds so authentic. I'll keep that in mind regarding my wife.
Your thread is so interesting and of course it caught my eye. I have been separated from my H for 3 years, D for 1. I am still hopeful, but of course there is an OW and she has been there since before he left. my question is What kind of relationship did you and your Ex up until now? My Ex has been pretty distant, for the most part. We have seen each other occasionally, and he has said many confusing things. We were married 27 years when mine left.
My relationship with my Ex after he left and after the divorce was distant on my part. I wanted nothing to do with him, he left, that was it to me. Sometimes I would be friendly with him, but I was so hurt that was pretty tough.
Julie, I would say about a year after he left, maybe even alittle before, he always came around. He would even ask me if in the future we could date. How weird was that? Really weird. He never really left, left. He parked his truck in my yard, and kept his boat here so he came over for those things. Plus I have two daughters and he was always in contact with them.
I stayed my distance, only way I could survive. I got my life together for me, made plans for my future, it was the only thing I could do. My Ex was living with the O/W for 5 years, yep 5 years.
Says he finally learned what life is really about, his family............even with all the money he could of had, it didn't mean anything without us. Some people really have to learn the hard way.
I hope this helps and best of luck to you.
Julie, remember, do for you..........make yourself better, don't worry about what he's doing. It's the only way to live.
That does help, although, my H has never looked back. He still has some of his things here, but I dont' think they are that important to him. I got the impression that he couldn't wait to get out. Our girls were grown, youngest was startign collage when he left, so really nothing to come here for.
He's not living with the OW, but I'm sure they are together alot. He said they have talked about living together. I pray that he will "come to his senses", but I do need to move on more than I have. how did the OW feel about him having his boat at your house?
