Quote: Frankly I don't see where getting nasty is going to help anyone.
Really, I am paying you a compliment with my tough-style posts. I am operating under the assumption that you are a mostly normal guy who has seriously f*cked up in terms of taking personal responsibility for his marital sex life over the last five years. If you believe that you need to be treated like someone who has serious deep-seated sexual dysfunctions and needs to be treated with sensitive care and only perhaps under the guidance of highly trained professionals, I do apologize.
In other words, I am assuming that you are closer to the equivalent of a reasonably intelligent, competent kid who has slacked-off, procrastinated and thereby made himself into a bundle of defensive anxiety by not doing his homework for five semesters. If you prefer to be treated like or believe that you are the equivalent of an emotionally impaired kid with dyslexia and therefore should be excused from the normal sexual expectations of a normal husband than please get the professional help that you need.
I do feel sorry for you. In your wife's mind, you have five years of makeup assignments to do in order to get your marital G.P.A. back on track. That s*cks. I do think that she has some major responsibility for the situation also, but perhaps not in the way that you are thinking. You might be thinking that she is partially to blame in the way that the slacker kid might think "I didn't do my homework because my teacher was mean and unfair.". Really, your wife's part of the blame for your situation is that she has been the equivalent of a wimpy, neglectful teacher who never gets on the kid's case to do better or calls him in for a conference until it's too late and he's failed the class. The reason she has failed you in this way is probably due to low self-esteem or an unhealthy dependence on your relationship.
Believe it or not, the fact that I came across as angry in my previous posts is really a sign of respect because I am choosing to address you as a man who has f*cked up but can pull himself up by his bootstraps and work towards his own redemption and take some tough advice along the way or choose to discard it with confidence. I think it is a big, big, big mistake to treat low drive husbands who come to the BB like rare, timid, wounded creatures that need to be gently lured out of the woods so that they can be examined and treated.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Most of us HD's on here are not looking for sex, we are looking to ML, we are looking for complete sexual fulfillment. It is the "Wanting" sex that makes it so important. We are looking for lovers, not sex.
