I did too, and then the funny thing was that she was on "so you think you can dance" last night. VERY strange coincidence.
Also, when I read the lyrics, I immediately thought it was a country song. Even when I saw the name of the artist, I thought it still sounded country...imagine my surprise when I saw her picture and read that she did that pon-de-replay song...funny.
I have not posted on my own thread for a little over a month. Things have been good so far but it could be better. I know things don't get fixed overnight but the thing that's going on in my sitch is a little tough to handle sometimes. I can't help but get depressed when the right triggers get hit.
We did go away on vacation for a week to "get away" and at the same time do something for our 9th anniversary. We had S8 with us and it was all fun. No email for the first few days but W did check hers at some point later during the trip, I think it was on the 6th or so day. We had a great time, if you seen us you wouldn't even get a hint of a family in "crisis".
I had asked W about the OM a few days ago. What is the OM to her? W said he's a friend who she has to make time for, W compared OM to one of her tennis buddies. I also asked her "how far" has she gone with OM and her reply was "not very far". The thing the bothers me most is that it seems she wants to work on our M, keep my as her H, give me affection, kiss, ML and at the same time keep the OM as a special friend.
Sometimes, it seems that all this things W is showing me is not worth all the emotional distress I feel. I keep reading other posts on this board and I would really love to be able to voice out my feelings but even in front you guys who only read what I type, I still have trouble doing it.
I know that advice given here is just advice, any input on this wierd ass situation of knowing that your W gets up in the middle of the night to check email from a "friend" and receives text messages from a "friend" and still makes love to you. Am I nuts to be going along with this? Maybe, I love my family, and my W but how long do I have to endure this.
WOW! You still get laid? Bonus. In all seriousness, it is a wacky world this infidelity thing. It is truly maddening when you try and figure it out. You can't. sometimes you do step back, look at it and think "This is F'ing nuts!" Then you get back to your knitting and try, try again. Hang on, guy!
Wedge, I'm sorry to say that I am a little too tired to read your sitch right now, BUT I will tommorrow. This Sucks, I know this for a fact. Keep in mind that no matter how bad you feel, you WILL be ok. I will check in with you tomorrow. In the meantime, take care of yourself.
Thank you whatisis and Mamabear, sometimes I look at my sitch and it seems so little compared to what other folks on this board are going through, but the thing is it's small but hurts like hell.
Just last night, things were going really well, W baked some cookies that I requested, happily I might add. We ate dinner, watched a DVD, had a couple of beers and then I went to bed before W and S8. I woke up at about 3AM and she's still not in bed, I got up and she was on the computer listening to an mp3 I downloaded and waiting for a text message from OM. Oh and one came in just as I was standing there. I couldn't stand there and have her look at me and say "What?".
I guess I'll just keep on knitting and see what kind of product I come out with. I don't know anymore, I'm confused and at a loss for words. I can think of what to say but I just can't type if for the life of me.
Wedge, My W used to do this too. Be up to all hours of the night MSN'ing the OP etc. You can't stop her. So your options are to learn to live with it (and carry out your DB strategies) or it will drive you nuts. If you are nuts, you aren't able to DB. I, too, know how much it hurts. Have a good cry sometime, go for a run or a walk as exercies honestly helps greatly. When my W came back from her weekend rendevous with OP I went for a one hour walk, came home and had a pleasant rest of the evening. I knew if I didn't bad things might be said that were pointless. I'm sticking to what I've chosen to do to win here. You must too.
After my last post this morning, W called from her cell (stuck in traffic), we talked about S8’s swim lesson and the events of earlier in the morning when it was pouring outside. I on the other hand was a little confused as to what kind of reaction I was supposed to be showing, do I show her that I was upset about last night or do I show her the normal me, jolly and always enjoys to hear her voice. The latter won so we had a decent conversation and then she made it finally to her work and then we said goodbye. I did ask her about what brought on her drinking the previous night, if she was depressed about something or what. She said she wasn’t depressed or anything and that it’s just been a while since she had really drank until the late hours of the morning.
She had called me 2 additional times during the day and we chatted about work and family stuff but nothing about the M, the R or the OM. She mostly initiates the calling because I’m trying to the do DB thing of not pursuing. She had invited me twice already to go with her to her tennis practice, actually I’m going with her tonight. At times, I feel she is really working on our M but the presence of the OM in the rearview mirror is just driving me crazy and she knows that. Sometimes, I feel like she’s doing it on purpose but I know she’s not. I just think it.
I do have this feeling sometimes of daydreaming about revenge A, it’s not going to fix things but it still comes to mind sometimes. Trying to imagine what it would be like to get that rush of being excited to see someone in secret, like they did. Oh well, back to knitting.
Wedge, You are doing really good. Keep on "acting as if" and follow the DB advise. Sometimes it is hard as hell, but you must do it. Your W is confused. Let her see what a caring and compassionate person you are. Thoughts of a revenge A are fine as long as you don't act on it. Remember your goal, to save your marriage. Hang in there!
Wedge I know what you mean. The more you GAL and put yourself out there, the more opportunities seem to find there way to you. Where were these women when I was single! If you get female attention enjoy it! It's great to feel desirable especially when your W is leaving you feeling so undesirable. Just to see a face brighten and a huge smile when you walk into a room is a powerful upper. But don't act on these opportunities. I walk away (then curl up into a little ball on the floor )but man do I love it!
)but man do I love it!