Not much to update. My parents took my kids home with them yesterday (they live 3 hours away) so my H and I are alone (except for 2 dogs and 2 cats). I was so relaxed yesterday. I took care of my flowers, straightend the house (don't need to do that again for the rest of the week since kids are gone!) then went to the lake. I took a 4 mile walk and just enjoyed the scenery then got my chair and book from the car and sat and read and took in some rays. When H came home he was very pleasant and we hung out and watched tv together. I have a couple of kid free days ahead of me and may attempt to initiate a little romance. I don't know if he'll be receptive or not so I will try not to let it bother me if he rejects my advances.
I have also been deciding on bringing up MC again. In a way I feel like I'm sending the message that something is "wrong" with him that needs to be fixed, that's not what I want to do. I need him to feel that although I don't like the way he feels that I accept it and respect him for his honesty. Meanwhile I am continuing to work on me, my anger/reactions/emotions. I want H to see me as a beautiful, smart, fun, strong, sexy irresistible person.
Hopefully before the week is over you all will see a on my thread, cause like GH, 8 months is just too long to go without.
You can bring up MC not as something wrong with either of you, but with the dynamic of the M....even he agreed that it's not how he wants, so he too can agree that it could use some changing. Also, don't use the word or concept "fix"....rather, improve or change.
Remember, YOU are a big part of the change in the dynamic.....you're doing a great job, and it's paying off. Keep it up.
Hi Mama, Just checking in with you. I see a lot of great progress in the past few weeks. I hope these past few "kid free" days have been really fun - and that's why we haven't seen you post. I am always rooting for you. Keep taking really good care of your self. I really liked what you said, about you:
Quote: Meanwhile I am continuing to work on me, my anger/reactions/emotions. I want H to see me as a beautiful, smart, fun, strong, sexy irresistible person.
You are, all that! Hot, mama
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
Wednesday night we went out to our favorite little bar/restaurant. The owner commented that he couldn't believe we weren't with our kids. Had a really fun time, I made a point to not talk about our R or our kids.
Thursday night he worked late, I had been getting stuff ready all day for a garage sale and cut the front lawn when H came home he thanked me for doing so much work on my own and then he cut the back lawn. By the time we were done it was late, we ate and then sat in front of TV and H fell asleep in about 10 minutes.
Friday night he helped me clean up the garage sale stuff then we sat on the front porch listening to music, drank a few beers and ordered pizza. I thought about brining up our R but didn't want to spoil the evening. We were getting along really good.
This morning when H's alarm clock went off I scooted over to him and put my arms around him and we lay there for a while. After a while, with my heart pounding wildly from fear of rejection, I asked him if he wanted to see my tan lines. He got the message, hugged me tight for a long time and rubbed my back then said I should of asked him last night cause now he needed to get going to work. I felt really sad and hurt but I will not let it ruin my day. After his shower he kept hugging me really tight like he didn't want to let go and telling me he loved me and our family. I said I do to but we have to figure out a way to reconnect (if you know what I mean), he said he wanted to do that, knows how important it is. He mentioned how nice it is to talk to the kids on the phone and how freely they tell us they love us. He said he never remembers telling his parents that nor them telling him that they loved him. I reminded him that my family was exactly the same way, very cold and quick to criticize.
So....what does today bring? I will be back out doing a garage sale, by myself (he said he should be home around 1:00 to help me) then off on a 3 hour road trip to my parents house to pick up the kids. H is off Monday so I will continue to work on even though it is much harder now with kids around.
Thanks for checking in with me.
GH - too bad we don't live in the same state so we could have some sympathy sex with eachother - just kidding
Hi Mama, I have been thinking about you, and the name of your thread. Maybe since it's almost time for you to start a new thread, you need to change the name from the "platonic relationship continues", to something more to invite more into your future I can think of the possibilities brewing already something like hot mama rocks his world anyway, just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, and knowing that since you have more than one kid, I figure having kids around won't stop you from enjoying each other when you want to be together and are ready. Just keep making time for each other, keep making each other the priority. Everything I am reading leads me to believe that your H is going to be seeing all those lovely places where the sun didn't shine very soon. He is ready to play with you, I can tell. Of course you are both a little hesitant, trying to figure out how to get there from here, you are starting over just like you were young teenagers again. Enjoy! I think you are making great progress in every way.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
PL, wish I could change title to Hot Mama rocks His World - but didn't happen yet
Saturday H came home after 3:00, I was a little dissappointed; I could have really used his help with garage sale. I assume he wanted to spend some time with OW (remember they work together) since he would not see her until today. Just call me by my new name "Ms. Grin and Bear It".
Got to parents house around 8:00 p.m., had a nice car ride. I did not bring up any R talk.
Sunday the whole family went to a really nice restaurant for brunch. Once we got back to my parents house, H and I went for a 2 hour walk. They live in the country and it was so beautiful. We had a really good time, even H said so. Walked thru a couple of houses that were under contruction and talked about how nice it would be to have enough money to buy one as a second home and spend weekends and summers there. When we came back H wanted to go into town with me, my Dad tagged along and we went bar hopping. Had fun.
Monday morning H went golfing with my Dad, he said he didn't know why my Dad wanted to golf with him since he is such a bad golfer. I said because he loves you and your company.
H left 1/2 hour earlier today, I am suspicious that it is not work related but to spend time with OW. Put up the mental stop sign Mama.
I am now reading "Lies at the Alter, The Truth about Great Marriages" by Dr. Robin Smith (Interesting read although she is not pro-marriage) Here is a paragraph that I highlighted:
"Today I would only want to be with a man who respects and honors me, and whom I can respect and honor. I would want to be with a man wise enough not to lose everything for an addiction. I would never be with someone who needed to choose between me and a substance or another woman. I would only be with a man who is sexually and emotionally faithful because it's part of his value system, a man who chosses to live more in truth than in lies because truth lives in the very fiber of his being." - I feel exactly this way. Problem is, why am I afraid to act on this feeling?
This is how I believe my H might be feeling: "Maybe you'll think the love is gone when it's just the initial intoxication that is diminished. Maybe you'll think you're with the wrong person and will betray your partner by having an affair to get the feeling back, only to discover that you're chasing a feeling that can't last. The initial infatuation that we call love isn't love at all. It is being IN LOVE with the idea of what we think love should be. People leave marriages, have affairs, and withdraw emotionally and physically because they confuse the illusion of love with true love."
I am also reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by the way. Will give my thoughts once I read more.
Left a note for H by his coffee (we do this every day) and I added that I know how awkward it is but we really need to reconnect as a couple, we have so much to lose if we don't and so much to gain if we do. He didn't really reply to that in his note to me, just stated what a nice long weekend it was, wished it wasn't over etc. and signed off "ILY".
I actually got quite a bit of guidance from Mars/Venus. Some of the 'highlights' are in one of my older threads. I hope you can get something out of it, like I get so much from yours.
Hugs to you, and I congratulate you for staying your course. You are definitely a woman worth admiring!
on my thread, cause like GH, 8 months is just too long to go without. 
