Ah....c'mon now!!! You can do better than TWO can't ya?!!
(I'd have said at least FOUR....really.)
Seriously, tho, to follow the advice I usually get from a really smart guy on this board (uh, that would be YOU), you already know the answer to your question....
Hi! I'm finally toast. Went to the final C session alone. W and I agreed to end them for now. I wanted a chance to talk to the C alone. C agreed that there is limited value in continuing. Perhaps someday W will be ready for her journey inward.
She left me with a few thoughts. We talked about the pursuer/distancer dynamic. C felt that it might be my best tool. Understanding the dynamic helps me realize what pushes W away and how to reel her back in. I must admit, In my case, using the dynamic for good rather than evil really helps.
One final thought provoking comment she made. No matter how far they stray from who they are, they almost always return. The only question is wether you can wait them out without pushing them completely away.
At this point in my life, I am more centered than I have ever been. I know who I am and what I want to be. I am standing in those shoes.
I have a long way to go before reaching nirvana, but who does'nt. Marriage, parenthood, and this process has helped me to grow in ways I never imagined.
