Yes, there are sex acts that might be gross. BJ's are not in that group. Tell me, would you be happy to NEVER have head ever again, just pure straight sex with no bells and whistles.
Just a thought CeMar. How would you respond to someone who liked auto-erotic asphyxiation saying "Do you think you could stand to never be choked ever again while having sex?" Every person has a different definition of what is fun, good, gross, etc. There is no standard.
What do you mean by pure straight up sex no bells and whistles?
Chromo
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
You need to be upfront and honest with yourself. I haven't posted on here in a long awhile but you got my attention when you said....(I am not looking for an affair, in fact so far I have tried to avoid situations that might cause an affair. But if one found me, my faithfulness might really be tested. )
You have not tried to avoid situations that might cause an affair! What have you DONE (actively, directly towards your wife, not just reading in a book or on here) to COMMUNICATE your UNHAPPINESS to your WIFE?
You still do not tell us what you actively do to try to change the situation you are in You complain about it, you tell us she can't/won't do things...and you tell us you deserve better, and you start posts that down the LD person constantly...but you don't share with us what you've tried....so truly there isn't a person on this BB who can help you change your situation....but YOU can.
So, from my perspective reading your posts....No sir, you haven't tried to avoid situations that might lead to an affair....because as far as I can tell from reading your posts over the last few years.....you have yet to begin to communicate the problem to your wife. So, if you find yourself in a situation where your "faith is tested and you falter"....don't blame your wife, it's a choice YOU would be making.
Quote: Tell me, would you be happy to NEVER have head ever again, just pure straight sex with no bells and whistles.
Actually, getting head is probably down at around #10 on my hit parade, so doing without it probably wouldn't be the end all for me. Though, truthfully, telling me that I could never, ever have it again probably would make me want it more . and you're right that I wouldn't be happy with nothing but straight-forward f*cking. I do understand why you're unhappy CeMar, I just think that you aren't willing to do what might be necessary to solve your problem.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
You know me, sometimes I just can't help myself. While I do sympathize with the pain I know CeMar feels, because well...we've all BTDT right? I also want to just throttle all of that negativity out of him. Hmmm...did I see someone mention a 2x4 on another thread? Can I borrow that?
But my fantasies are becoming more vivid and I find myself throughly checking out other women, especially looking for the wedding ring. If some attractive women expressed a physical interest in me, I probably would falter.
I am not looking for an affair, in fact so far I have tried to avoid situations that might cause an affair. But if one found me, my faithfulness might really be tested.
To me these statements are so passive aggressive. You don’t like your current situation. You don’t want to confront your wife to set any boundaries. I think you are really mad at yourself for your weakness, to the point that you completely play victim and martyr like Mojo has been doing (and which she is no longer doing, right Mojo?)
If you really want to get out of your marriage then do so. If you want to have an affair, then do so. Tell your wife how it is going to be, come to some agreement and draw up some legal papers releasing each other from marital fidelity, and go at it!
But whatever you choose, stop playing helpless victim, whinning about your sitch, always couching your messages in “Why is it that women…” or “I don’t understand why women…” If you believe in a particular position, then have the guts to come out and say it straight up. Stop playing ignorant, victimized, pitiful dutiful, faithful, noble, honorable husband. Take a stand!!
There was something I realized that may have helped my sitch. That is ....I am responsible for MY happiness. I couldn't put that on my husband to provide my happiness. I know now that I have choices in life. I can love him and keep trying to work on issues and keep the marriage together. But I also know that if I am truly not happy there are choices that I can make.
Another important thing I did was really search my heart and search within myself. In doing so I could clearly see where I did also contribute to the marital problems. Wow I learned I wasn't as perfect as I thought.LOL I learned there were things I could do differently. Ways I could say things differently, ask for things differently. After all my husband is a male not a female. So he may not respond to things the way I would like.
Cemar... I honestly feel you have not searched your heart. I think you are thinking you are this perfect husband who has no flaws. You may very well be contributing to this situation. You need to really do some soul searching.
Honestly, I sometimes wonder if my requests for sex or discussions about sex are just a knee jerk reaction. By the time the words are out of my mouth to try to flirt H into bed or to discuss the no sex policy again - I feel little to no desire. I try to think that there is desire and it is just kind of muted or buried under the weight of the issues surrounding it. However, I'm starting to think I might be better off planning a celibate marriage and learning how to be happy that way.
Quote: I mean what if your new HD hottie loves to give blow-jobs but she just gives really lousy blow-jobs.
A quick google search on "oxymorons" brought up the following Top-20 list:
20. Government Organization 19. Alone Together 18. Personal Computer 17. Silent Scream 16. Living Dead 15. Same Difference 14. Taped Live 13. Plastic Glasses 12. Tight Slacks 11. Peace Force 10. Pretty Ugly 9. Head Butt 8. Working Vacation 7. Tax Return 6. Virtual Reality 5. Dodge Ram 4. Work Party 3. Jumbo Shrimp 2. Healthy Tan 1. Microsoft Works
I think "Really Lousy Blowjob" goes right to the top of the list!
. and you're right that I wouldn't be happy with nothing but straight-forward f*cking. I do understand why you're unhappy CeMar, I just think that you aren't willing to do what might be necessary to solve your problem. 
