Hello Anorsexia. I am new to this site too, just looking to find answers, hope, encouragement on the net and found this. I thought I was alone in this situation too. You never hear of the H who rejects the W, just the W who always has a HA. I do not have a single married female friend who can relate, however there are several married men I know who can.
I have not crossed that line yet, but I am getting so close. Like you I am in my early 30's with children. I do not want to leave a legacy of divorce for my children, nor one of adultry but I feel myself slowing slipping away.
My H not only has a LD but is also unaffectionate. We have sex on the average 2x a month-when he wants it. And even then it only lasts for a couple minutes. I rarely have the opportunity to enjoy it too because it is over so fast! When I have mentioned drugs (Viagra, Ginseng, anything!) he says they do not work, which let me know he has had this problem before. His ExW even told me he could not satisfy her. It makes me so angry that he was at least willing to try with her and with me, he just doesn't care. I am there to meet his semi-monthly needs and that is all that matters to him.
Unlike you however I had a great sex life with other lovers before I married my husband. I know what I like and I know how to get there(the BiG O), so I definitely know what I am missing.
I also had a OM tell me he fantasized about me and was also in a SSM. I told him to be strong and I would pray for him but I would not have sex with him. The deal is, I am not attracted to him and I worry if I do meet a man I am attracted to, I will fall. I even stay in touch with my ex-just in case, but as good as the sex was with him, I do not want to use him because I care too much about him as a friend.
My husband is a great father and I know he loves me, but I know he does not "like" me and has even told me so. I feel like roommates. I wish I could tell you there is hope-but I can only tell you that I will pray for you as I pray for myself. God put this desire for a connection to my husband in me and I pray that he will work it out for me. I have no energy, courage, self-esteem to try any more for myself.
"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalm 141:3
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
Hairdog here, with a message to all you long-time SSM board members:
Smells like troll poontang.
For it is written, "in the month of March, in the year 2006, there came a pox upon the face of the board and its name was Marvel." The gospel according to Hairdog.
And frankly, vleigh, following so close on anorsexia's heels, reminds me of marvel's other identity as the guy from Farkistan or wherever.
Quote: "in the month of March, in the year 2006, there came a pox upon the face of the board and its name was Marvel." The gospel according to Hairdog.
Reading from Hairdog, Chapter 4, versus 7-9
And this pox, who was named Marvel, took it upon himself to attempt to deceive the godly members of the SSM board. And some of them fell by the wayside, attempting to help said poster, who was aforementioned named Marvel. But this poster, who was possessed of an unclean spirit, and we have called Marvel, practiced his sinful nature upon them, further deceiving them, despite the warnings of the prophets Baltoman, Hairdog, and GEL who said "LO! this creature is the spawn of Satan, heed not what he sayeth." And when the unclean spirit was cast out by the moderator of the SSM board, their wroth was great. However, this poster left with a mark upon his head. And the number was 666. Beware o thou of the godly nation, take heed to these words, lest ye fall.
(said in my best Eric Idle imitation)
Chromo
Just kidding by the way.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I have to admit, I didn't think you were a troll, but why would you consider bailing on this forum at the first hint that someone was accusing you of being a troll. In your first post you state that finally this was the place you were looking for.
ConfusoChromo
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Where did I say I was bailing? LOL I've much more persistent than that Obviously, you've had trolls here before and have your guards up. This is the first time I've ever visited here and I haven't really looked around much--a general no-no for message boards that I overlooked when I jumped in.
Obviously, you've had trolls here before and have your guards up. This is the first time I've ever visited here and I haven't really looked around much--a general no-no for message boards that I overlooked when I jumped in.