Wonderful to hear this news, NYS! I remember your postings from 2004 when my sitch and rollercoaster ride began. It helped me a lot. I am glad you were able to have such a positive discussion about your R, and that there has been some clarity for you and your WAW. My sitch lasted about a year, when my H decided he wanted to work on our M - we still have some stuff to overcome - i.e. my trust in him is pretty much NIL, but I have learned not to have any expectations.
You do sound like you are in a strong place, emotionally. Whether we win our WAS's back or not, that should be our goal, ultimately. To be emotionally strong, confident within ourselves, positive about life in general, and to love unconditionally while having our boundaries.
Thanks for letting us know how things are going.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
It was a pleasant surprise finding you back here. Hmmmm.... I don't know what to think about K and her need to be "your friend" I struggle with that in my own sitch. I am not as far along in the process as you are. Right now, I have no desire to be friends with my STBXH. Right now, I want him to go away and leave me alone. Did you evolve to this place you are at right now? Did you ever feel like I feel now? Did you ever long to have that talk? I don't. I have no need or desire to know that he has come to an understanding about what happened here. I know it's a cliche, but if I never saw him again, that would be fine with me. I don't wish him any harm. Nor do I feel the need to get "payback" for all that has happened. When we do have interactions now, I feel a very strong urge on his part to talk to me, tell me about his problems, etc. I have no interest. Frankly, it mildly annoys me, in an amusing sort of way.
I'm just curious about the whole process you went through. If I remember correctly, you filed and your D was final last Dec. So, for you it has been a 2 year process from bomb to recent phone call?
Whatever the course your journey took, you sound great and I'm happy for you. The call from K seems to have given you something. I don't want to call it "closure" because you never seemed to me to be hanging out there waiting to wrap up loose ends. You seemed at peace a long time ago, to me.Whatever it meant to you, thanks for sharing it with us and giving us some insight into what sometimes happens in these situations.
Stay well and please don't be a stranger!
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
