Oh Yikes, LFL, I hadn't thought of it like that.. that's an interesting theory..
I have pretty much come to the conclusion that there must have been some kind of abuse in her past. Some abuse that she is not yet ready to deal with. I think she works very hard to keep it repressed for whatever reason. I think that some of her health issues are her body's reaction to keeping things repressed (In other words, I think that if she came to grips with whatever it is, she'd be a much healthier person.)
I have been seeing a counselor on my own. He agress with my theory and one of the things he said is that there is this big thing she is trying to ignore (I have referred to it as the giant elephant in the room in other threads). It is far easier for her to repress and maintain a certain way of life than to face it. Thats why she doesn't want to go near a counselor.. she fears that by going to a counselor.. they will see all the signs and force it out.. and whatever IT is, is just to painful to her to deal with. So she doesn't.
So that's my theory anyway. It explains to me why she wouldn't enjoy sex. It explains why her health is messed up, and why she refuses counseling.
But how to solve it? I have no clue. And just by understanding it doesn't mean that I am ok with not feeling loved. I am going nuts thinking to myself "this is not very hard.. all you do is put your spouces needs before your own and love them" and when she doesn't, I can take it personally.
And then I feel guilty about that, because I know she is dealing with something I can't possibly comprehend and my pushing for intimacy could be making it worse for her..
I am just confused, lonely and totally out of my element. I don't know what to believe or how to approach it other than to stay away... which is killing me. I still love my wife and am attracted to her. My body wants to follow through with that.
