I'm learning a lot about cosmology Chrome. Thanks for sharing. While we have learned a lot, it seems like some of what can achieve thru scientific research is really out of our reach at this point. Multi-dimensions, perceptions, etc. And therefore, multi-realities? Oh, it's too much to think about after a hard day lecturing about earthly issues like global stratification and such.
Anyways, while it is all quite fascinating, I'll just take this opportunity to (somewhat) wrap it into the main topic at hand and say, Nerds are HOT! And since you won the top spot on the Nerd Test, you are hereby deemed Smokin Hot! Tell you something you don't know, right?
I'm sorry you were so down this morning. I hope you are in better spirits. You will find your way Chrome. You have lots of friends to help you navigate the journey.
Smokin Hot Nerds, eh? I guess things change from high school to real life. You must think Bill Gates is the hottest guy on Earth then. LOL
No, I'm smoking hot because I'm a freakin nerd, and I'm tall, dark (at least while this tan lasts), and handsome. Plus I can sing and play music really well, I likes to get sensitive and emotional, and I listen and communicate well. I actually find a woman's perspective fascinating, so I'm not going to just bob my head and say "uh huh" while plotting how to get you naked. Funny thing is, my W doesn't seem to see any of this, so who the fock cares how hot I am. GRRRR!!!!!
Ah, I've got a lot more to say on that issue, but I'd better clam up. Feeling really pissy, or b!tchy, whatever. GRRRR!
Chrome Jaguar
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
No, I'm smoking hot because I'm a freakin nerd, and I'm tall, dark (at least while this tan lasts), and handsome. Plus I can sing and play music really well, I likes to get sensitive and emotional, and I listen and communicate well. I actually find a woman's perspective fascinating, so I'm not going to just bob my head and say "uh huh" while plotting how to get you naked. Funny thing is, my W doesn't seem to see any of this, so who the fock cares how hot I am. GRRRR!!!!! First of all the best part of the "nerd" personality is the Intelligence. That's one of the hottest things in a guy (according to LFL). Can't deal with stupid men. Blech. So on top of that, yes, you have all the other qualities mentioned. You know it so let it work for you. As for your sentence about "who cares if my W doesn't notice", wrong perspective Chromie. You need to believe it before she will see it. And if she still doesn't see it after all that time, then that's her loss for sure. Do I have to pull out the big guns, the bee's knees comment again! You know how I feel about you Chrome L. Use some of that energy to make Yourself feel better. You cannot control your W. Give up the ghost already. This is how I see it. I am M to my H who I love but he does not define me as a person (anymore). I know I am a sexy, attractive, smart, funny woman who will continue to live my life that way whether he notices it, rewards it, or not. You can do the same. No?
Great post MD. I should probaby reread Flatland again myself. It the book that anyone trying to understand multi-dimensional spaces should really start with.
"hahaha...Okay Apollo... good choice. I thought about naming myself Zeus so I'd refer to you as "Hijo Mio" and you'd just call me 'Pappi'...but thought better of it. As any good Geminid, I have split personality, so my evil side wants me to call myself Hades, but then again, I always considered myself more the Devil's Advocate, rather than the Devil himself. And then what guy wouldn't want to be dubbed 'eros' and be a real mack-daddy.
See what conundrum your test score has turned this into? Polytheism makes this all so tough. I therefore dub myself Prometheus--the rebel god. Yeh...fitting."
Hey, if you are going to be a split personality, I can too. I want to be Charon, the boat-keeper of the River Styx. How cool would it be if your only job was to row a boat and look really creepy. And if the people don't pay you can dump them in the river. I wonder what his cut of the profits are?
And if you are Eros, then I am definitely Bacchus. Party on.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I think I am just having a touch of Lil-ism, wondering how I can truly validate my own sexuality without my W. I have no problems seeing myself as an attractive person, but that's not quite the same. I know I'm just jumping the gun again, the W and I are still really early in the game. Again, its just hard when it seems like validation would be so easy with others. I know people say that if you start a new relationship you will just recreate all of the same problems. But the difference with me is that I am a new person, almost nothing like I was for most of my marriage. My low self-esteem is pretty much out the door, except for a few spurts here and there.
Note, I am not saying this to indicate a desire to terminate my M, far from it. I am going to try to make this work with every last bit of my energy. I'm just floudering a bit right now.
Chromo-cuda
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I think I am just having a touch of Lil-ism, wondering how I can truly validate my own sexuality without my W. Ack, I know. The dancing analogy really hit home for me. I have no problems seeing myself as an attractive person, but that's not quite the same. Boy do I know. But I am glad to hear you see yourself as an attractive person now, instead of just becoming an attractive person. That's progress. its just hard when it seems like validation would be so easy with others. Ironic isn't it. M is a real pain in the azz sometimes. Where's the justice? I know people say that if you start a new relationship you will just recreate all of the same problems. But the difference with me is that I am a new person, almost nothing like I was for most of my marriage. My low self-esteem is pretty much out the door That is good to hear Chrome. You are making amazing progress on yourself and hopefully it will transfer over to the R with your W. Does your W know about your newfound self-esteem? Has she commented on it? Noticed?
Well, I still have some things I need to do before I am really happy with my level of attractiveness, but I am confident that I can be attractive. Thanks for all the pep talks BTW.
I am battling loneliness right now. I guess it is going from hanging out non-stop with other people to being in an office sitting in front of a computer most of the day. Its weird because there are students all around me, other faculty, internet friends, etc. I guess I just have this real strong urge to just completely open up to someone and let it all hang out. All my fears about the future, little things that I enjoy, goals in life, most intimate desires, etc. I guess it would be logical for that person to be my W, but she can't. She is still too tired, to worn out mentally by being with the kids, focused on dealing with problems/issues at that level. Not to mention that I'm not sure at this stage it would be a good idea for her to hear all my weaknesses, about the low self-esteem that crops up from time to time, and the depression that still lingers faintly in my heart. I guess I am just describing the human condition. At our very root, our very core, we are alone. Others can help us or harm us along the way, but in the end, we are alone. No one else can ultimately make us be happy with ourselves, or be content that our life was worthwhile. I think that is probably the hardest thing in life to acheive.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Careful Chrome! You and I have been through similar situations.. and one of the things that my wife said when going through things is that she felt she was losing an understanding of who I really was. What she really WANTED is for me to be able to open up myself to her about all the kinds of stuff you mentioned in your last post. She wanted to know that "inner me" in order to feel close again. Don't assume that just becasue your wife is overwhelmed that she is not interested. She just may be and is waiting for you to express that to her.
(Disclaimer: Keep in mind, I do not know your wife and will not be held responsible if you follow my advice and it results in disaster)
Sheesh, can you tell I have been working in "Legaleese" all day...
Allow her to be that friend that you can go to, trust me, it can be tough, but she is the person that needs to hear that. My wife and I have our ongoing sexual debate and problems, but I still love that fact that we can talk about anything (except for sex) and I am working on sharing more.
Chrome You break my heart sometimes. I'm sorry you are so sad. The R with your W needs to be addressed right now, not later. The two of you seem soooo disconnected from each other Way beyond the sex. You've lost your friendship too. Why are you so fearful to talk to her honestly, the way you do to us? You need to do that at some point in order to have any chance for intimacy. I know you would never be happy with your W "showing up." You want and deserve more. So don't talk to her about the sexual issues as much as how you feel in your heart about life, her, the M, the future, the friendship, and on and on. She doesn't see a fraction, I bet, of what you hold inside you. Listen, I can relate, so I'm not judging at all. I feel lonely sometimes too. And yes, ultimately, we are alone and therefore, responsible for our own happiness. But we are also driven to make connections with other people. That is human nature. We need intimacy in our lives. We can't just go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. That is no life. It's the people in our lives that make it worthwhile. I am so sorry you are lonely. And I know it sucks to have to express yourself over the stinkin internet to finally be heard by someone....But I do hear you. Me and plenty of others. I'm thinking of you King Chrome. Talk to your W.
Use some of that energy to make Yourself feel better. You cannot control your W. Give up the ghost already. This is how I see it. I am M to my H who I love but he does not define me as a person (anymore). I know I am a sexy, attractive, smart, funny woman who will continue to live my life that way whether he notices it, rewards it, or not. You can do the same. No? 
and I am working on sharing more.