Had a couple really emotional days though. Wife went to visit a friend and got snowed in. First I realized the importance of having time alone. I needed that. Then when she did get back I became anxious. No reason to be but I was. It very much reminded me of my childhood and the anxiety that came along with wondering when the drunk step father was going to explode. It made me step back and realize how actually hypervigilant I really am.
I had a couple emotional days. Seemingly no reason but things just seemed to bubble up. I had realized that some old negative patterns had come up again. Not very strongly but they did surface. I went over many negative traits on paper and thankfully realized that I have rid myself of many but I still have work to do.
Yesterday was a brilliant day for us. We held an amazing training event and the attendees (and ourselves) were just blown away by how good it was. We were so proud of our instructors. It was a big step for us and a big success.
Things are going very well for our marriage. We are very close. I really want her back in the same bed with me but I don't get anxious over the expectations of it anymore. It will happen.
So things are still on track and we are both still on a path of self discovery
One thing I did realize is that this certainly keeps us on the path of growth. If she had started sleeping with me I may have stopped or at least slowed down my discoveries dramatically. There is benefit to it. I just don't like it.
Xue, Oh, here you are. Just checking in. You sound great as usual. Don't forget about us in Newcomers as you make new friends over here. Did you get my e-mails to your BBK website? I tried a couple in the lst 2 weeks, but haven't got a response.
TD
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
hey, I'll e-mail you shortly. Just been putting a few things together.
Had one heck of a dream last night. Kinda funny in parts.
For some reason I was a part time cop in the dream. I was out looking for something and was introduced to this young woman (just my type, my wife used to call me the serial dater cause all my previous girlfriends looked the same) So I'm getting to know her and all of a sudden my wife has shown up and is right in the middle of us and shutting her down hard. I'm a bit shocked but ok with it. We go to a party and our marriage has suddenly become affectionate.
Anyway this dream really made me realize something about my wife that I have always known but never really thought about. Her lack of self esteem is only overshadowed by her extreme competetiveness. Wierd mix huh.
When I was a single guy there was more than once that she stole me away from another girl. I think she used to do it as a challenge.
When our marriage was real bad she was looking for another wife for me. A couple of times she had actually picked one out. I see this as a big self esteem issue. But there have been times when another woman was flirting with me and she went a liitle ballistic.
She is very posssesive and protective of me.
So just thinking aloud here. No course of action. Just thoughts.
* Sow a positive belief in your consciousness, reap empowering thoughts. * Sow an empowering thought, reap uplifting emotions. * Sow an uplifting emotion, reap inspired actions. * Sow an inspired action, reap an abundant marriage and life.
time alone eh? my daughter aged 15 said awhile back about her now ex boyfriend we can't see each other every day he has to be able to miss me
time alone surely does that
you seem to be moving along a nice straight road at the moment I can see the sunshine on your back and the trees along the side of the road moving slightly in the breeze and there are no hills or valleys up ahead
TD I responded to your thread the other day but I must not have clicked the button right or something. Anyway I'll e-mail you shortly.
Bj, yes I remember you telling us when your D said that. Much wisdom.
I do think you are right and that is a nice visualization. I do not see any hills or valleys on the horizon either. Just wish I was driving instead of walking. It's unbelievably slow. Ow well, might as well make the best of it and enjoy the scenery.
Been wondering how you are. Hope the new job is awesome.
