I've been in newcomers since the end of Oct 05. Wife moved out late October and I found this place a day or so later. we've been through a lot. We've both made some major changes and our interactions are now pretty good.
During the separation she would stay occasionally and those occassionally slowly got longer. A month ago today she seemed to move back in but hasn't officially stated that she has. Seems to imply so though.
We spend a great deal of time together and get along great. No fighting typically although the stress of running a business together occasionally interferes.
We have had no intimacy for 1 1/2 years.
We seemed to be slowly moving towards intimacy. We kissed on the lips regularly but occassionally this regressed and she would stop kissing me. We seem to be in one of those periods right now. She would kiss me square on the lips and then less and less to now she sometimes turns her cheek when I go to kiss her.
This seems to cycle.
She had been planning a D only a few months ago. Had consulted with a lawyer.
Welcome to the new board. Sounds like things are doing better. It would be good to find out what causes this cycle you talk about. I'll check in on you later.
Hello.Thanks for checking in. Yes I've been thinking about it all day and going back to basics, the old what were you doing when things are going good. I realized that two things might be the cause. And they are both me. I used to drink a lot. Never thought it was a lot but now that I've quite I realize it was a lot. When I have a glass or two of wine at night I notice I am cranky the next day. So I quite that. The other is jogging. I was putting in about five miles a day 6 days a week. I jog with my dog. My dogs leg has been hurt and the weather has been miserable so I haven't jogged in over a week. I'm thinking that when I jog I keep myself centered. I get my thinking done and clear my head. By being more centered I am able to not be affected by the little stresses.
It's a theory. But I think I was getting really good at letting things roll off my back.
My wife and I are extremely sensitive to each other. We really sense each others moods and I think we easily fall back into the negative patterns even though we have mostly corrected them.
Yes things are way better. I was a mess if you go back to my first thread. Things were a mess. This has been a long road but we are getting close I think.
And i also think it is some sort of natural cycle. I believe a large part of this has been my wife finding out who she is. I think that sometimes she just needs some solitary time for this and perhaps not taking it is detrimental. When it happens she seems to come back to me just a little bit better each time. Very small increments but better.
Sounds like some very thorough observations. If that is truly it, you should be heading down the right path. Perhaps time, patience and love now is the key. My phrase these days is "focus, but don't obsess". Keep the good work rolling.
I have just completed day one of workshop in coaching with future achievements australia leadership coaching for youth in the area I live in ( I get my 'youth' on friday) it was very interesting - kinda a bit like beginning psychology stuff when I finish I will be given certificates and stuff to say I have done life coach training
it will be good to work with a kid from the local area and help them develop leadership skills anyhow just thought I would let you know will tell you about the NLP training I am going to next weekend
