My H doesn't back away but he puts up his hands kinda like a shield sometimes. That is his - stay away I'm not in the right "mode" - drives me nutz!
Karen
PS Chrome - I'm kinda thinkin that your W is a hottie but just a tich inhibited. I also think that spending all that time with Mom and Dad doesn't help get rid of inhibitions in any way. How does she respond to sex scenes in movies - anything in particular seem to float her boat sailor?
Yeah, I'll admit some of my laughter is covering up my jealousy. I would be into that sort of role-playing from time to time. I even think laughing during the role-playing would help loosen things up.
Sorry LFL. I don't mean to be a wanker, whatever the heck that is.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Sorry LFL. You're not sorry you wanker. I don't mean to be a wanker, whatever the heck that is. Well, I believe to wank means to masturbate. So basically it is calling someone a jerk-off I believe. Now in the 80's when it was the height of hairmetal bands and such, my friends and I used to call them "wankers", basically metal heads. This also relates I believe to the awesome movie Spinal Tap where they were calling each other Wankers as well. So there you have it.
"I am in a crunch for time but hey lets face it I like talking about sex so I can squeeze in a moment or two."
LOL. Seriously though, your words do help me, so however many you can spare are appreciated.
"Actually if I recall correctly you said that she sometimes hugs you afterwards that is called EC dear boy better then all the wild thrust in the world."
So hugging her after her O while she lays on top of me, gently stroking her back and behind (man this still feels like TMI ) is something that many W like? I thought it was something nice to do, but I was starting to get the impression that maybe I should just go right at the wild IC afterwards.
"Also you play into this if she has O you can pick up the pace and see how well she responds to this."
I'm sorry, but I didn't understand this sentence.
"Slowly change the concept."
Man, not telling everyone exactly what the fantasy is, is really hamstringing your ability to discuss it cogently with me. Can you trust me when I say it would be difficult to change this concept in a meaningful way?
"But she is still willing to do it to give you what you want in a out of reality (lack of better wording) setting. Yet she is inhibited to do so many things in reality. Freeing her self of her moral consiousness."
I do see your point. My question/problem is, how do I translate her freedom in the context of the fantasy to freedom in the context of reality?
"I told my H it would make me hot to have him MB infront of me. He complied with no problem and was quite experienced at the art."
Hmmm. Interesting thought. I probably won't try that anytime soon with my W, but it is intriguing. The one difference of course being that pretty much every male has MB many times. I am positive my W has never MB. So asking her to do that would be like asking someone to get up and sing a song they don't know in front of a crowd.
"Then one night I took it further and asked him to spell out a fantasy he said he had none. I walked him through one that was totally not about me in no way shape or form."
So you just used some fantasy that you had heard about, one that a lot of men fantasize about or something? I do see your point very strongly. If the person doesn't know if they like Sushi or not, take 'em to a Sushi restaurant. The problem is, I need to educate myself on the location of the Sushi restuarants. Any pointers?
"But it also had a more profound side effect. H now knows I have no problem with him doing such things and feels free to do so with out having to be a hypocrite."
Wow. A very positive result. I know my W is very ambivalent about me MB. She doesn't like it at all as a matter of fact, so I don't let her know when I'm doing it. I'll have to admit that I even feel embarrased if she realizes I am doing it while it is going on. Sucks to feel that way about your W.
"Screams she is embarrassed of her own sexuality. That along with her response to the kiss causing a O and alot of other things."
OK. Do you have any suggestions as to how to solve this? I recognize the potential of the "MB in front of me" philosophy, but are there any other suggestions?
"Have her try putting her knees up not down and also try it with her facing away from you. If you do not already do this. The upper position is actually something that for a woman helps them control stimulation to there clit with a grinding motion and also helps them position it to there liking"
When she gets on top, she will generally start on her knees during the penetration phase, then move to laying fully on top of me afterwards. That position seemed to create the most pleasure for her, although it didn't allow for her to thrust as strongly. I'll suggest the reverse position next chance I get. The only question I would have about it would be that we might have difficulty with penetration in that position. Of course, the only positions we have tried are me on top, her on top, and her sitting in my lap facing me. Thanks for the tip!!
I did want to mention that one of her other common protests is that sometimes she "can only breathe out of one nostril so she can't kiss for very long." I will try to change positions so that I am not blocking that nostril, but it never seems to help. Half-hearted protest or serious NO? In your opinion of course? I'm guessing that asking "do you really mean NO or are you just testing me" is not something to do because it would result in the half-hearted protest becoming a serious NO as that would be failing the test.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"PS Chrome - I'm kinda thinkin that your W is a hottie but just a tich inhibited. I also think that spending all that time with Mom and Dad doesn't help get rid of inhibitions in any way. How does she respond to sex scenes in movies - anything in particular seem to float her boat sailor?"
Now you are getting me all worked up thinking of my W as a hottie. Grrrr! Might have to mention something tonight.
You might be right about mom and dad not helping with inhibitions. It would be hard to spend time thinking about sex and R while the parents are around. Plus, they would not want to talk about such things anyway. Sure wish I could convince her to hang out with some women friends more often.
She usually gets embarrased at sex scenes in movies. But you know, I haven't really been focusing much on her reaction (and not because I'm glued to the scene myself LOL). Maybe I'll have to rent some steamy ones in the near future and do a little experiment. (chrome laughs maniacally while doing a hand-washing motion).
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Let me tell you I have had a lousy day and this thread has made me chuckle over and over.
Sorry about the tobagon on his head thing but every time I hear someone call a knit cap a tabogon I have a image of a sled on there head. I told you I am a visionary.
And oh please don't give up on your sailor play. Though bemused I may be I think it is healthy. I joke about sex all the time inflatable dolls penis pumps the whole nine yards. I had a awesome bar wench custume I sold alot of and I thought it was hot and thought it would be fun. But I could never get passed the cracking up at the thought of walking around the house dressed up as a bar wench. Now had I really been working in a bar and given that same outfit to wear it would never have phazed me to put it on and work in it. Wierd I know. It is the play acting part that I don't think I could do without busting out laughing.
Example if there is music on and I am undressing I may dance around while shucking my cloths off. But now in the past when my H has asked me to strip dance for him I have rolled on the floor laughing at the thought.
Or use this for a example my post earlier to chrome I had just got out of the shower and was stark naked and thought nothing of it since I am stark naked to barely dressed at most times around here. But if say I went on a sex website and was told to come to the computer naked I would find it to funny to do. Phone sex the same I may be naked while talking on the phone but if someone on the other side of the phone told me to get naked I would bust out in laughter.
Maybe there is something to this and I should just get the costume and try out the whole concept. H could come home from work and I could be all wenched out and offer him dinner served on the table then just climb up on it. OMG I am laughing at the thought of it maybe I could be a mime so I would not have to talk just signal ohhhhhhh better stop before I end up crying from laughter.
They DO all suck don't they. Well, not Chrissy, she's a chocolate fan so I'll forgive her
Oh chocolate hugs and kisses to you sweetie! Blowing them your way hard as I can. So you can just suck them up
Thank you from the deversion of my shitty ass day!
So hugging her after her O while she lays on top of me, gently stroking her back and behind (man this still feels like TMI ) is something that many W like?
If she seems to need this to get her emotions back in check after her O then by all means it is great. I have heard of woman crying after a O because of the connection/love they feel at that moment. But to do it every time no. Hence my statement of you can control the trusting even from the bottom after her O and either increase it or decrease it and gauge her response/expression.
man this still feels like TMI
To much info never for me. Come on I have even spilled my wierd quirks about what I like to do after my H cums. So you my dear man are a tame info giver.
Can you trust me when I say it would be difficult to change this concept in a meaningful way
[ Can you trust me when I say it would be difficult to change this concept in a meaningful way?
Sure I can trust you to tell me that. But the whole purpose of changing it or adlibing it to some degree is to make it more about getting your wife to open up a little and you get to know her sexual side and likes better. So it is about giving the role playing new meaning.
So not being sure what it is you can add a new twist or turn her or there.
Chrome Sweetie are you ready to play W I guess Chrome Well you know what I like but I was really thinking I would like to dribble a little honey between your breast tonight and then>>>>>>>>>> You get the picture A little varition not a huge jump.
I do see your point. My question/problem is, how do I translate her freedom in the context of the fantasy to freedom in the context of reality?
Slowly by changing the concept and the meaning of the fantasies. Which will help her except her own sexuality. And a fantasy played out in a bedroom is a reality of the two involved you are still Chrome and Mrs Chrome just adding a little spice. And allowing her to not be so sexual repressed right now even if she is role playing added in with all the other changes may adventually reap you the rewards you want. Women are wierd creatures they either embrace there sexuality or repress and deny it. And few really do not have any but few is the key word. Some woman also embrace there sensuality others don't think it exist. Your wife is young with really little experience in this. She can learn it all yet.
Wow. A very positive result. I know my W is very ambivalent about me MB. She doesn't like it at all as a matter of fact, so I don't let her know when I'm doing it. I'll have to admit that I even feel embarrased if she realizes I am doing it while it is going on. Sucks to feel that way about your W.
There was a long period of time in my life I did not masturbate. People that masturbated was bad blah blah. Urges for sex that were unmet by another were unattended. That was at a time when I was still not comfortable in my own skin of sorts. I have always embraced my sensuality but my sexuality had hang ups. I did not MB until my early 30s I did not touch my own privates while having sex nor kiss anyone after oral sex because ohhh I did not want me in my own mouth blah blah until in my mid -late 30s. My H probably felt the same way you do. Since I was not about it he was ashamed of it. It was not until I openly excepted and encourage it did that dynamic change in our relationship. Now he is as comfortable doing these things in front of me as I am him. But I had to prove to him first I did not find him a freak for doing these things for him to open up and do them. That is what sexual inhabition is all about.
The problem is, I need to educate myself on the location of the Sushi restuarants. Any pointers
Close your eyes and open your mind its all in there already Chrome. I know what men like maybe not my H. And no I do not watch porn nor do I read x rated material. If you need more help I will spell it out but I may likely get kicked off this board. You have read dialouge between me and LFL joking around about pumpkin butter and various other things. Its all about imagination.
"MB in front of me" philosophy, but are there any other suggestions
Start simple little things like getting her to help you stimulate her add a toy a simple cockring with a clit stimulator. Get her to apply the astroglide to herself. ( She is the one that knows where it needs to go to ease her discomfort). Get a gel with a warming solution in it. Watch her take a shower while waitting to help her scrub her back.
get. The only question I would have about it would be that we might have difficulty with penetration in that position.
Insertion would be the same knees down position the only change would be no laying down giving her the option to grind and also to determine how deep the penatration goes. Try it both ways knees up facing you and away from you. Depending on what direction your erection goes (straight out, More upward, More downward) will determine which way facing will feel better to her. And hit the right spots on the inside.
and her sitting in my lap facing me
That is about my least favorite myself tried it in the computer chair one day and ahhh no just did not work right.
Thanks for the tip!!
Yeah right now that I have made myself sound slutty you thank me! Hay wait maybe I could do that prostitute sailor thing after all
"can only breathe out of one nostril so she can't kiss for very long."
Your face is much larger then hers. This is a common problem for me and my H. Do not kiss straight on gonna have to not only lean down but sorta cock your head to the side so it does not press hard on her one nostril.
And then if that fails you can always joke around that you know your kisses take her breath away.
) is something that many W like? I thought it was something nice to do, but I was starting to get the impression that maybe I should just go right at the wild IC afterwards.
