Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Unique Situation...no...Part 2

NYsurvivor ,

That is all good things that you are speaking on. As you write please continie to put the web site down for us to enter into the information as well.

NYS & TMU-

Thank you for your exchange: NYS- for your insight, and TMU, for your courage to look at, and question , yourself.
You both having given all of us on the board struggling currently with detaching some food for thought- as well as some inspiration.

And TMU- for what my 2cents are worth- if you were in denial, you wouldn't be asking yourself these questions.

Petite Flower

TMU you know I have followed your sitch closely, and in my humble opinion you are not in denial, and truly have taken the lead in regards to detatching compared to many of us! You have become self aware and opn minded which is liberating! I need to follow your example!

Quote:

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Okay, let's just the rules down a bit...there is to be NO bragging about the gorgeous weather in FL...K? You just keep that to yourself!!

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What weather...dunno what you're talking about...

TMU

P.S. hmmmmm, beach or pool after work......

Ok. So now I am this guru (ahem) of self help. I can talk psychobabble with the best of em!
Seriously, I am learning so much about myself, and how people in general are. I still have a LONG way to go to attain even grasshopper status let alone guru...
So, I now look at my W and see this person who thinks because of this wonderful new guy that makes her happy (so SHE thinks) for a few hours a day, that she's found the key to life. I now know that she will, at some point have to turn inward and find her own happiness.
It makes me sad to know that and not be able to let her know. I know I cannot fix her but it still hurts to see her struggle daily and not share what I know.
If I tried to tell her anything right now (and I have) she'd just reject it as something I am saying to "get her back".
I guess I try to live by example best I can and hope for the best.

TMU

SuperS-

Tell me about- I got long hair and it was just blowing in my face during my walk to the mall at lunch time! I'm suer I was some sight.

And what was up with the freak 5-minute snow squall?

I am learning so much about myself, and how people in general are. I still have a LONG way to go to attain even grasshopper status let alone guru...

You've only just begun...and don't for one minute think you're off the rollercoaster all this easily...I did a few months back, thought I was done and poof...another rough ride...but at least you have the insight and understanding. That will help guide you through all this.

So, I now look at my W and see this person who thinks because of this wonderful new guy that makes her happy (so SHE thinks) for a few hours a day, that she's found the key to life. I now know that she will, at some point have to turn inward and find her own happiness.

Oops...you're focusing here...grasshopper!! Just slightly...so only a mere slap of the wrist. The truth is that she may NEVER turn inward. She may very well continue to float from R to R in search of happiness and never finding it. And if you don't believe me, I'll be quite happy to forward you the number of my exH. He a legend in his own mind.

Yes it hurts, I can relate, I hurt because I learned that all the love in the world couldn't stop someone from possibly drinking themselves to death. You cannot save someone from themselves...as painful as it may be. So you detach and let go. You are doing quite fine...just stay focused and we'll snap you back into place...because I've seen it go overboard where people become too focused on detaching that they actually become bitter, unpleasant people, not trusting, not willing to let go and move forward...that is not the intent.