NY S, if you don't mind my asking, how do you feel about this now?
It was a pleasant surprise. It was nice to feel that our roles have been reversed a little bit, but that's just about my feeling "vindicated" some, it's neither here nor there. What's more important is her saying that she's dissipated the negative baggage (which leaves the positives to be then brought to the top), "been sentimental lately", "sad", indicating a reflecting back on us, obviously thinking good thoughts about me, an emotional attachment about me, that she wishes my GAL things had occurred while we were together because it would've made "her happy", "thrilled", which may imply regrets, that she was getting choked up while writing and telling me she's "all along" considered me a good soul, good hearted, good man, which indicates to me that she's realizing I wasn't necessarily the problem, and that she's telling me all this to boot. That's all pretty neat in my book.
I don't know why he needs a safety net; he's made it clear he's "not coming back".
Points out why so in the "Men Who Can't Love" book: Out of the primary relationship, they now not have the pressures they were experiencing that triggered their anxieties, they're now free to miss the good things that were there. Plus, they have a mental need to have an "out" from whatever new relationship they're in in order to feel comfortable, even if they never intend on using that out. Sort of like thinking, "Well, if this doesn't work out, I can always get divorced". Same thing my K is doing probably. Perhaps OM's not everything she dreamed he'd be, could be neither is her life after all this time, maybe she still has doubts about her longer term prospects with him, so she needs to know I'm still there, in case, otherwise she's "stuck" or has to find new unknown unfamiliar options or face being alone, which is all uncomfortable stuff, as you may well know? And now that I've been more obvious about moving on and GAL, she senses that and fears the loss of me?
Know what I thought about doing? Calling o.w. (if I had her no.) and saying, "Tell your boyfriend to stop calling me."
Know what I thought about doing? Calling o.w. (if I had her no.) and saying, “Tell your boyfriend to stop calling me.”
That is hilarious Hope- I almost spit my coffee out onto the computer screen. Can't you just imagine the reaction...
But NY is right- funny thought, but must move on from it.
I don’t know why he needs a safety net; he’s made it clear he’s “not coming back”.
Well.. we all know how our men like to say these things. Whether or not they really mean it is another question. Personally, I have little faith in anything my H says when his actions demonstrate how clearly confused he is. I think your H did the same thing last night; the whole 'actions speak louder than words" bit.....
Next time though when you want to avoid calls- turn off the cell AND unplug the phone jack. Your rest and your health are more important than H needing to know whether the pup has been walked...
Hope you are feeling better-
PF
PetiteFlower
Quote: Follow Your Bliss
~Joseph Campbell
hope Ups and downs. I am really getting it. I don't like it, but I do understand more all the time. You are not frozen in time. you are a wonderful lady. Remember that. GAL and let him call. We have all hit FF's thread, anger OH MY, well he's scared too. He was comfortable with niceities he could justify his actions with everything is ok. nothing changed. my leaving effect. He wants her to hate him, so that he has no guilt if he goes forward with D. She's not taking the bait, she is the DB queen and guess what, If she wants him, she is going to get him. The one thing that we don't know is if she still wants him of if she is beyond that. He doesn't really know either. Lesson learned for today. Love and prayers are with you. Today I am back to the sick to my stomach feeling that I came to the board with.
shocked, I am sorry you don't feel well. Please take care. Thank you for all the kindness; I really appreciate it. I agree with you about FF; he wants to go back but he's terrified. I can understand that. He wouldn't be here though if he didn't care about his wife and his marriage. I really hope he can find his way back. You're right though---we don't know if she wants him back. It sounds like he thinks she does. I wonder still if she posts here. I don't call H. at all. I let him call me. I mean, what reason do I have to call him? It is viewed as pursuit anyway, even if all I want to say is "how was your day?" I don't expect to be hearing from him tonight or tomorrow; he is off and most likely has plans. I try not to think of what they might be. Thanks again.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hey hope- Just wanted to wish you a nice weekend. Do you have any plans? I can't tell you how badly i want to go out tonight...but, no one to go out with...oh well...guess i'll do laundry...yeah.
