How do I deal with Valentines day? How are you going to? Could there be a more painful day of the year to be going through this? As it approaches I may need a lot of help maintaining. It has always been a special day for me and my W. It's the day I proposed to her and I can't imagine how powerful my feelings are going to get as it gets closer. What if she just spends the day with the OM? I really don't know if I could take that.
You know, I was thinking about that myself. Day by day I keep telling myself.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
My H and I met on Valentines Day 1993 and were married on Valentines Day 1994. It was my grandma's birthday so we used to say she was my guardian angel and brought us together!
Therefore, I sure hope this valentine's doesn't suck! Not to mention my birthday is in a couple of weeks. Let's see if he remembers...
Yuck. Valentine's Day is my anniversary, too. I've been dreading it since the week H left. If I weren't preggo, I'd go out to eat by myself at my favorite romantic restaurant and down an entire bottle of Merlot all by myself.
I've had those thoughts, too: H already has a Valentine lined up, and the idea used to make me sick. Until I realized that he's human, too. He may be with her, but he'll be thinking about me. Yeah, he may be thinking: "That b*tch W of mine," but hey, at least he's thinking of me, right???
At least it's on a Tuesday this year and not, like, Friday or Saturday. That would *really* suck. And we'll make it through this holiday just like we made it through the others: Knowing this will be the hardest time ... next year things are bound to be a lot different. We'll be much stronger emotionally, if nothing else!
OMG, how pregnant are you? Do you have any other kids? How are you dealing with all of this? My kids are small and will be devastated if our family falls apart. Hang in there.....
Yes, it is one thing that many of us are familiar with, having kids in these sitches but being pregnant is a whole other story. I really hope things work out for you.
As for me, Valentines day will just suck. I can't see how it won't. I get emotional as hell just thinking about the good times but living through a day that personifies them is going to be damn near impossible. On top of all that, I have to be strong for my boys. Guess I'll be wearing sunglasses or ski goggles to hide the tears. I have gone through my life really being ok with emotion but it's getting in the way of my life now. You know how they say a stiff breeze can cause a guy to, well, you know...well now a stiff breeze can make me cry. Hope it's now windy on Valentines' Day!
I also have gone thru life keepng my emmotions in check, and I also can cry at the drop of the hat now! (Not a pretty site seeing a big man cry!) But back to Valentines Day! I don't even want to think about it (yet)! Too far away and to many things can happen before then! Think positive! It is the law of attraction-the way you think and act will attract others who act and think the same way! I wish I always listen to my own advice because it s tough when we all feel we are in a pretty dark situation right now!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
Funny Tim. I too have a big problem taking my own advice. On my good days I can try to be helpful to others here but on my bad days I can't even think of one good thing to say. Yes, it is a fair ways off but I for one always plan something big that day and it hit me that I can't really do that this year. What DO I do then? Nothing? Use this as one more reason to have a R talk with the W so that I can figure out a holiday? Have I mentioned this sucks yet?
Personally, I've never been a big fan of VDay...I would rather have the person I was in an R with express their love for me 365 24/7 than be forced to do it on one day just because Hallmark says they should...an occasional token of love, affection...something out of the ordinary when you least expect it means more to me.
So not a big deal for me...it's just another day...besides if I want chocolate I can certainly go down to the Godiva store and buy myself some...
Amen to that, Sassy. I used to wear black on Valentine's Day. I would tell people I was in mourning. That is, until I met H. And he showered me with little random acts of kindness all through the year, so V-Day still wasn't "special" -- until that's the day we got married. So I think I'll be more upset over that day being my anniversary than it being another stinkin' romantic holiday. Bah humbug.
Mamabear, don't you worry about me! I'm fine. I'm 5 months pregnant; H left when I was about 5 weeks along, so he's been gone the majority of the time. I have two other children, but they aren't biologically my H's. They are both girls, ages 8 & 9. They've been my little rocks through this. We're all getting through it together.
Sometimes I wonder if my hormones impact the way I'm feeling toward my current sitch, but I think I'm handling it pretty darn well. Maybe they're actually *keeping* me from being so emotional instead of *causing* me to be. I dunno. But I'm fine, and I thank you very much for your concern. Every day gets a little brighter. I might fall off the horse sometimes, so to speak, but I try to climb right back in the ol' saddle.
I'm 5 months pregnant; H left when I was about 5 weeks along, so he's been gone the majority of the time. I have two other children, but they aren't biologically my H's. They are both girls, ages 8 & 9. They've been my little rocks through this. We're all getting through it together.