Borther, do I so KNOW where you are at... in every sense of the word. Ah, honey, my heart reaches out to you. I know, I KNOW.
If you feel like it, come hang out with me over in the 'Surviving the Big D' board. It helps. Not that all the great people here don't... but they're still in it... you and I are in a different spot now. They all love us to be sure... you can drop by anytime with the biggest lovin' greeting feeling you could ever want from a bunch of people... but there's some healing to be done... and it's on a different level.