I would like all of it, too, except to say that the teasing and poking and prodding of my innerest self would get a little old. I need to see my man's innerest self sometimes too, or I quit playing the game.
However, I mostly just wanted to chime in and say that this style of interaction would be interesting and attractive.
I am very familiar with this act of doing the same thing over and over, just because she said she liked it. It's very closely related to the "Law of Diminishing Returns." I remember an Econ 101 class at KU where the professor showed a slide of a Coke advertisement from a magazine. The picture was a full bottle of Coke, in front of four empty bottles. The caption read, "This one will taste just as great as the others." (Or something like that). He pointed out that, in most experiences, this is just not true. By the time you are drinking your fourth Coke, you're bloated, you're not particularly thirsty, your teeth are beginning to get that sugary/disgusting coating, and, no, it just doesn't SEEM to taste as good as the first one.
I know that W's moans of pleasure when I am rubbing her shoulders will change to growls if I keep rubbing in the same area in the same way too long.
Corrie, DUOH! I totally misunderstood IHJ. I went back and reread her comment and went OHHH. THAT kind of stirred up. I took it to mean there was another submissive/dominant type uproar going on. Hence my confusion... LOL. Im gonna blame it on lack of sleep back then. Truthfully I was expecting a response, and I read that expectation into what IHJ said. Bad BF. Too much of that lately. Darn you, you embarassed me twice, a compliment on the writing, from a writer, <dont let HD see that what with my preps dangling and word nazi tactics and unedited punctuations> and busted on the deprecating. Not even a little slip gets past you. I cant remember the last time I really got embarassed. I dont know whether to say thank you or knock it off....
Dori,
There is way more to a M then attraction. (Did I just say that?) I was a serious azzhat. Cut her off from EC. Imagine you are sitting near a warm, roaring fire, and suddenly without warning, splash. Its gone. without reason that you can see or find. and there is nothing but a chill wind left in its place. Was insecure, non responsive, uncommunicative, all while letting OM pursue her unchallenged. Non protective, unassertive, lack of providing security. Should I go on? Where is the puking Icon?
I was Clearly an unattractive azzhat. (hmm maybe there isnt...)
What material did you read, or from where did you get your info on men/women and the biological dances that we do? I'm suddenly fascinated by this stuff and been doing some reading. I'm ready to do more. If you got it from a source, lemme know. If you just figured it out because you are a genius, then write a book already and stop tossin drunks around.
Corri and BF... Thank you for addressing the ambiguity of my comment(s). The BB isn't a direct reflection of who we are, but I am reminded once again that my communication style is sometimes too vague and subtle, especially for my H, who probably spends half the time wondering what I am talking about and the other half just tuning me out.
Need to emulate clear and direct, ala NOPkins.
Things are busy here...haven't had the time to follow along as usual...hope to catch up soon.
Ill get a list of books together. Thats not really where I combined it all from, but my experiences from my late teens early 20's isnt written. observing, and LIVING, is the real educator. trying different things. I took some specific pysch, biology classes to rectify what I was seeing, doing with what was known.
here is a book on body language. Body Languageby Julius Fast Reading it, honestly it makes no sense to most people. having done it, or reading it then going out and trying it, and observing it in others you go 'OH, thats what they were trying to describe.'
Ive mentioned the Alchemy of Love and Lustby Crenshaw before to someone else. Ill bet there is a big fat footnote to this book in LFL's National Geographic reference. Youll see that the same chemicals that are released during fear and stress are also during new love. extrapolating that knowledge, - I love extrapolating, gets me in all kinds of trouble--you understand why people make EC during realatively short time frames in extreme circumstances. They body doesnt differentiate between the cause of the chemicals. So when I am dating I take a girl to do some --new for her, heart pumping activity. If you are in a LTR, you can do the same even on a mild level. Go take a new activity class together, even if its just a couple hours, something as simple as rollerblading together or even milder, dance lessons.
these activities will cause you to do the mating dance steps which include eye contact, escalating touch to different areas, and of course laughter at and with each other. The segue that I see break down for many men is when it goes from this to having SEX. They seperate sex and affection. they suddenly break from the interaction and go into logical mode, often because they are so afraid of rejection, instead of just non verbally continuing to lead and just let or make things happen.
then of course the hesitant 'ums' and 'uh are you sure you want to do that' and 'that tickles', etc that Cally spoke of to Chromo and told him to ignore, get taken seriously in the guys fear and expectation and indoctrination that --'no means NO'. ( yes HP most women do that stuff. LOL. It does have a benefit, look how Callys H got to be the aggresive teacher, initiator.)
Other books
Mean Genesby.....cant remember ideas on being controlled by genetics and the irrationality of the fear response that serves no pupose in most human interactions. and of course The BIBLE. So many stories of male/female interactions. So much in the backstory of what isnt said. Direct commandments and advice on what MUST be for success.
What are you reading ? I have to be honest (well I dont have to be, but I sure like it....) I am alwasy leery of females seeing/understanding attraction so clearly. I see it die when they do.
Yo Mr. A, I'm not reading anything about attraction, I'm reading about essential maleness and essential femaleness. The books are Wild at Heart (men) and Captivating (female) by John Eldredge.
The books are really good at explaining what is in a man or woman's heart...what is the essence of being a man or woman.
They are heavily Christian, so they might not appeal to all, and I personally found some of it to be theologically shaky. Overall, I think it is a better self help book than spiritual guide, but that's not why I was reading it anyway.
The male book I was like, Hmmm how fascinating...is that *really* what makes guys tick?
The female book has been much more uncomfortable for me. See, I like to think of myself as much more liberated and with it than I suppose I really am. I'd read a chapter and inwardly cringe that I was f*cking agreeing with it. How pathetic, I thought! But..............reality is reality, kwim. No sense in fighting it.
I really wish my H would read the Captivating book and figure out, once and for all, what chicks are all about. His mother has spent her whole life acting like an asexual so he has no model for what female sexuality looks like. In addition to that, she tried very hard to emasculate him by withholding her love when he acted manly or in any kind of naturally masculine way. It worked, to some extent. Also, the book uses the term "emotional incest" for when moms can't let go of their adult children. BINGO went my brain. H and I were just talking that she considers her vocation to be motherhood, despite the fact that motherhood can't technically be a vocation. 'Wife' would be the vocation but she's made sure to shove FIL to the back burner and let him know that her kids are her main source of love and validation.
Anyhoo, I don't know why I'm talking about her.
Thanks for the suggestions. I don't know that I'll look into those books; I'm truly not interested in figuring how how men attract women. I was just curious, as usual.
That is my overall theme that I extract and extrapolate from my education. Mean Genes and alchemy are good reads.
I still need to get a hold of the deida and jewish books lil recommended You asked about biological dance. Ill see what I can remember and dig up. Its not really releveant to LTR because of the familiarity and chemical differences that drive the R.
The male book I was like, Hmmm how fascinating...is that *really* what makes guys tick?
I dont know. Why dont you tell us, or ask us and we will be happy to say yeah or nay.
I really wish my H would read the Captivating book and figure out, once and for all, what chicks are all about. bwaahhhahahaah .... hahahah. ...... hahahhaah. <BF wiping away a tear of mirth>
This will never happen. Frued never figured it out. Much to his bitterness. I havent figured it out, but thats ok I like a puzzle, got another 50 years, need something to think about.
Oh for sure, women are the more complicated of the sexes.
These two books boiled down men and women to two questions (which is always dangerous boiling down a complex human being to something simple, eh):
Men: Do I have what it takes? Women: Am I lovely?
Not to imply that this is all we are about; only to say that this is the question that we will find our hearts asking, again and again.
It said that men are warriors and have a wildness to their spirit that we women do not understand and we'd be better off trying never to tame it. Bad things ensue if we do.
The women.....well, ok, I confess that I haven't finished it yet. I'll let you know. LOL
Bad BF. Too much of that lately.
I cant remember the last time I really got embarassed. I dont know whether to say thank you or knock it off.... 
Non protective, unassertive, lack of providing security. 
Should I go on? Where is the puking Icon? 