So, another weekend of hanging out together and as a family. He did leave Sat. night to go see OW, but it was obvious he did not want to go. Sunday night before he headed back to work for the week, he visited her again on his way out, because he was "obligated" to.
Monday afternoon, calls to say he is leaving SC to come home, has serious selfish questions to ask. Basically wants to know if I we started to work things out, would I still move fam to new city with him, or would I say "I've made enough sacrifices for you, you want to be with me, you move back." Told him I would actually like to move, but only if I knew OW was gone, completely. He replied that if I said no, he would quit his fabulous job because he can't stand being away from the kids He went on and on for two hours, saying lots of loving nice things, but never saying that he wanted to work things out, only that he was trying to figure things out. Left Tuesday a.m., since has been texting me sweet lovely messages...
So why am I freaking out? He had to go and put some labels on things, now I will start expecting things, lke he will tell OW to piss off. I wasn't necessarily happy faking that things were casual and we were "just" hanging out together, we both new what was going on, it made it easier to be around him all weekend, and I knew that in a way things may blossom again between us if I backed off with the pressure.
I am scared because he has done this before. He has returned three times, each to leave more sure of his love for OW than before, only to come back to me.. Wash rinse spin repeat
I am scared to put ANY faith into his words at all, I can't even look at actions, I just want to feel, and then if he is lying maybe it won't hurt so bad because I am trying to detach from the emotion.
but never saying that he wanted to work things out, only that he was trying to figure things out. Yup. Same ole same ole... my H asked me loads of questions when he moved over to Country X for new job. About if I would move with him. Told me about the house etc etc. Even asked me to fill up application forms for the boys' schools. But again...all talk talk talk. Heck..the house that he talked about was chosen by ow. Can you imagine the hurt and shock? SO, I've given-up on his talk and talk and talk.
now I will start expecting things, lke he will tell OW to piss off. He won't. Believe me. I've heard those words from my H umpteen times that he is figuring out how to tell ow etc etc. But he doesn't and I end up disappointed and upset and basically with ZERO PMA. So stop expecting.
Sorry for being unencouraging. WHat I am trying to say is that you MUST STOP expecting, because it will do you NO good. You will feel depressed, anxious etc and you start badgering him and then he will think ow is more attractive. Be the wonderful you. Act like you are a "new girlfriend" and don't pressure. Don't critisize. He will then see that you are the better option. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Do things for yourself. Be happy.
