Hey... I get it, I really do. This site can very easily become addictive... a mental crutch. It can also be a den of enlightenment. Depends on how you use it. INTENT. Intent drives everything.
I notice from what you've written that you seem obsessive compulsive. Most highly intelligent people are. And I'm wondering if it's occured to you that the reactions/feelings you seem to be having could be coming more from your O/C tendencies than any feelings you may have for your STBX.
Meaning... if a majority of your feelings are stemming from O/C type behavior (phantom feelings, conjurings of the mind, illusions of the internal judge) and not wholly stemming from a 'great lost love....' what would you do then? What would that mean to you? How then would you operate?
Corri
P.S. Myst II is out. I'm sure you know that. Could be a great way to ignore Xmas day, kwis? I'm either taking a very long road trip, or I am going to stay in bed and watch chick flicks all day.
You like Scorpios huh? I'm a Scorpio and Lil is too - stubborn, loyal, sexual and a PIN. Who wouldn't want to hand around us?
Anyway, I'm noticed your comments on your diet and exercise plan and I am thinking of starting the old "physical improvements" thread back up. I feel the need to "clean house" on my diet and straighten out my exercise routine again too. I have fallen off the wagon. I can be very disciplined up to a point and then the hedonist in me gets me in trouble. Luckily, I am naturally slim but I need to add some lean muscle mass. I have gone a little soft.
Scorpio and Taurus are supposed to be perfect matches. I have had two lovers who were Taurus.. Tauruses, Taurus's? One was that Really Great One that I've talked about. The other was not so great but he had the best-looking, best-shaped, perfect length/diameter/everything dick of all of them put together. FWIW.
You like Scorpios huh? I'm a Scorpio and Lil is too - stubborn, loyal, sexual and a PIN. Who wouldn't want to hand around us?"
- Oh, man. I had to come out of my hole for this one, Karen. I could go all Freudian on your a$$ over this slip LOL. Think you meant "hang." Methinks there's a naughty, naughty fantasy buried deep down in there somewhere.
"Anyway, I'm noticed your comments on your diet and exercise plan and I am thinking of starting the old "physical improvements" thread back up. I feel the need to "clean house" on my diet and straighten out my exercise routine again too. I have fallen off the wagon. I can be very disciplined up to a point and then the hedonist in me gets me in trouble. Luckily, I am naturally slim but I need to add some lean muscle mass. I have gone a little soft."
- Yes. My sitting at a computer all day has turned me back into a girly-man. But when I get into my routine, I never exercise for more than 45 min. And I do it as bursts, with rests in between.
Best way to gain lean mass is heavy free weights with low reps (3 or 4). So ssay I do 3 sets of 8 reps. I should barely get the last rep out on the 3rd set. I don't do machines, cept maybe a leg curl/ext. on my bench.
And I isolate muscle groups while giving them plenty of rest. Mon. shoulders/biceps/chest; Tues. legs/hips/stomach; Weds. triceps and back etc. All not usually lasting more than 30-40 min. and I'm done. Take weekend off to rebuild.
Fs usually don't like mass so stretching helps or less weight and higher reps for tone. Still, most people don't realize the best way to lose weight isn't diet and aerobic exercise; it's via building muscle. Muscle is a real fuel/fat energy storage eater.
At rest fat burns around 1 calorie per hour. At rest, muscle burns around 50 calories per hour.
Some say I don't get aerobic/cardio from it. Not true. My heart is pounding and I am panting away with heavy low rep weights.
I don't believe in endurance/running/marathon arobics. Why? Burst energy. When we're 70-80 years old this is what is required to kick start the heart when we first wake up. Lot of heart attacks occur in morning this way. Problem is people like marathoners, high endurance types etc. have turned their bodies into an overly efficient machine. As a result, their organs actually shrink...heart, lungs...etc. b/c they work at optimum efficiency and therefore don't need to be larger. (and don't get me started on joint damage/skeletal stress)
Free weights/burst energy building is opposite. Better at old age. Don't need smaller/less burst capability organs at old age; need all the organ horsepower you can get.
Ugh. Sound like Tony Little. Blech.
Lillie...
I don't know many women who can make me blush. You just did. Gold star for you. Yowza.
Finally, Corri...
Whoa. This is something I am going to have to think about. Is it possible to obsess over being obsessive? LOL. The Endless Loop. Reminds me of when I was a little kid and I took my mom's hand held mirror, held it over my shoulder and looked into it at the bathroom wall mirror....trying to count the curving endless loop iterations of my reflections ad infinitum until I couldn't see them anymore. Ok, ok, I know, sounds obsessive. Wasn't. Just an incredibly bored little kid.
Something BF said. Thinking too many steps in advance. It hit me when I read that. I think this is an issue why I am here. So much in own head all the time and future outcomes I let the present go by unnoticed. Wasn't having fun with x, laughing, living for the moment. Her new social contacts do that and she's having fun.
I think she even said before, "sometimes I wonder what's going on in that head of yours."
At least I don't have to turn light switches on and off, straighten coffee mugs, etc. etc. LOL. Just too many cycles per second in the thought arena. Gotta just let it keep cycling in the background and come out and enjoy the present and external. Sigh.
No, I will not go to any more logic/abstract etc. computer games. I already know what will happen. Chick flicks. Think I am one of few Ms who enjoyed watching chick flicks and teenie movies with x. Ah, such a setup. I couldn't give her the "Pretty Woman" experience.
I might get into this college lecture series I have on "Argumentation" to pass the time. LOL. Got it for Christmas from S and BIL. But, hey, I'm an equal opp reader. I can just as easily read a book on Dirty Santa Jokes.
Argh. I am hating the countdown to Christmas. I feel like an 'Clausaphobic' little kid being dragged in screaming horror to go sit on Mall Santa's lap.
And I'm tempted to post on NOP's thread on relationship killers. Most my own. Won't. Will take too long. Maybe post holidays.
-Stigmata-
PS -- 48.
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
I'd love to explore the O/C concept with you, but since you are at the 48 mark and counting, we really don't have time to go into it. Why the he!! you picked 50 is beyond me... 69 is a much more interesting number.
Anyhoo-dums... I can tell by your posts you are going to put yourself through the pepper mill ad infinitum til these holidays are over... you know, you could always work with a church or the Salvation Army and feed the homeless on Xmas Day... great way to 'connect' with other people, not feel so lonely and pathetic (no offense meant) and get you out of your own head. I think there are plenty of orgs. that do that in NYC.
Just a suggestion.
Or I could email you my cell phone number and we could watch chick flicks over the phone together all day long... jk.
Well... it was nice knowing you. Have a nice life. Kick azz, take no prisoners... keep your nose clean... look both ways... flush... naps are good for you... and so are Doritos and Haagan Daaz Ice Cream.
Mazeltov... (what the hell does that mean, anyway? HD? Did I even spell it right?)
Mazel tov literally means good luck, but people usually use it for "congratulations." There isn't really any right or wrong way to spell it since it's transliterated from a different alphabet.
Do you have IM? stuff I want to talk about in real time. about insecurities, money, provider as attracting women etc.
Maybe even post here, but I dont like the back and forth.
"I'd love to explore the O/C concept with you, but since you are at the 48 mark and counting, we really don't have time to go into it. Why the he!! you picked 50 is beyond me... 69 is a much more interesting number."
- OMG. The call just came in literally at the 11th hour from Corri-the-Governor to stay the execution...this is post 50.
I like it, I really like it.69. Honestly I don't even know what the hell that number represents anymore. Do you know the numerals for MB? 61? 60? :-(
And 69 is much more apropos for the SSM forum BTW. 69 it is.
But, seriously. My quota. I really believed I wouldn't be needing so much support from these boards these past 2 months, and my posts would be minimal. I'm waiting her out. Lots of R issues need aired. Nothing in 2 months.. Surprising. Increases viability of OM2 IMO. Damned her. Tough witness. I have to cleverly lead her as I depose her to get to the truth...and she's very, very clever herself....multiple advanced degrees. The direct approach will not work.
"...Or I could email you my cell phone number and we could watch chick flicks over the phone together all day long... jk."
- Where were you 6 months ago? X took for granted I never "played" with other Fs around her. Could have. Didn't. Why? Yes, insecurity. Knew she's the type to "one up" me that way...pushing my buttons with playing with multiple M friends. Now I know I should have. Alphas always keep their Fs out of their comfort zone. Crud.
Hey, and we can paint our nails while we gab too. j/k. Actually I'm M enough to admit I have enjoyed more than a few mani-pedis in my recent past. How metrosexual of me. But I'm smart enough to know most women appreciate an Ms manicured hands (and nice shoes). 2 biggies on the allure list.
"Well... it was nice knowing you. Have a nice life. Kick azz, take no prisoners... keep your nose clean... look both ways... flush... naps are good for you... and so are Doritos and Haagan Daaz Ice Cream."
- Yes. I have Doritos. Pure poison but I don't care. I'm just trying to get to Jan. 2. And I like the Dolce Delece (sp.) Haagan D. Save some for me.
...and I'm not going anywhere just yet. You just reprieved me into 19 more posts. ;-)
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
and I could kick all three of your azzes at once. I seem to be stuck on azz kicking tonight
Well there is a big bite. Stig has jujitsu, Nop was a football player and who know what else, I have * years of aikido, and @ years of muay tai, and get to practice every weekend, for real, no holds barred. Your not the first 6'8" guy I dunked on either.
God I love it when you get all crazy with the confidance, enough with the goofy though.
Ahh video games, a certain unmentionable used to occupy up to 30+ hours with me too.
When I detach I am in control of my pain. There are no unknown variables basically. I control my outcome. However, when I keep a vested interest in my broken R it's like feeling hot needles pushed under my fingernails. Chaos reigns
Exactly. I was so relieved when D was done. Still have waves, still have self kicking moments, but its done. AHHH. Relief.
urghhh God Damn you ladies. x is a tauraus. I am a scorpio, x is a dragon, I am a rat. x is a poet, I am a warrior, we were son of a b!tching, MFing Soul mates...BANG BANG BANG bang ban ba b Ihateher Ihateher Ihateher
ow. my head. guess not. she didnt think so at any rate.
Stig I do push muscles one day,(chest and tris) pull another, (back and bis) legs another, alternating with forearms, calves, and core, every other. Same though 3 or 4 sets of 6-8max. forearms and calves, I do 3 sets of 50. I quit doing long distance when I went to alaska, wont do it again for reasons mentioned.
Do you have anything new to teach me, or are you just a negative image....
The anon, I dont care, never have. I know chromo, I didnt out him, and I was thinking of changing my handle to my real name and posting a website in my bio where I can be 'verified' as being a lauded tech instructor... Maybe owner will see linking and come here, stop philandering and try to save his marriage and son from D.
I never let someone else have that power over me and I don't think I will let that happen again--which is a real shame IMO because I will hold part of me back from now on.
BS. You let her betaize you. Thats your fault. She didnt honor and respect, when you fell on your face. Thats hers.
my need is having a woman who Chooses me. I can get attraction, I fear it. Its not "love". Like LFL said women want to slam me like beer. I want to be wine. Nop says remove layer of player suit. I say I am a guard dog hiding in wolf skin . x mistook wolf in guard dogs skin for me.
Do the analogys ever end?
Your too focused on money. that insecurity is causing its own outcome. Stop caring and your woman wont either. That is in your head. YOURS.
They want to feel. They want to be cherished. they want to 'know' you.
My x was with me 8 years, doesnt know poop about me. Whose fault is that, heres for not digging, or mine for not giving her sand to play in instead of granite to blast and drill through?
