I wish I was as certain as you are that I am not going to snap
There are the times when all I can see in STBXW is a person that lied to me, a person who could forsake the vows we made when we married, who won't work on our marriage because staying together only for D6 would be wrong (like there is no other reason to be with me), etc.
I wish these thoughts didn't bubble up from time to time, but they do. All I can do is my best to work through them. I want to forgive her for all of this, I want to be able to put it all to rest so I can move on. At times I wonder if I wouldn't try to reconcile or not. I think lately it is just my newest defense mechanism more than not.
Won't work on our marriage? Screw you then, I wouldn't want you back anyway! I'm taking my toys and going home!
This is certainly a rough time of year. It was this time of year when W and I first got together, shared our magical first kiss, etc. Now it remains for me to change this time of year into something special for me, for D6, and not rely on W for anything to make the holidays special to me.
