I agree wit hboth of you...just hard to ride it out and see...So much you want instant answers and that will not get her back patience will or it may never happen :-(
Dont worry about the other guy. My wife has seen prob 4 to 6 other guys so far, none can ever take you place if there is still feeling there.
Her is email my wife sent me 2 weeks ago.
I have not replaced you with anyone....I told you i'm just friends with him and i am just taking things one day at a time. I can't make you stop thinking the way that you do.....but you have got to stop reading the worst into everything that goes on between us. Savana is our #1 priority and i would never ever make her think that anyone could replace you!!!
Scott....i'm soo glad you came to grandpa's funeral, i would have been upset if you didn't go. You should know by now I handle my emotions my way......I don't lean on anyone but me....I have been like that my whole life!!!! I never ever gave it one moment of thought to have shane come with me to the funeral......it was for family not someone i'm seeing at the moment.
It's not fair to bring up you and your being sick months ago when we were going through something totally different at the time. It has nothing to do with me going with a friend to the hospital,I would have done it for any one of my group of friends.
please.........you have to try to talk to me instead of ignoring me for days ok? I've had one hell of a ride this past week or 2 with grandpa and life is too short to be angry at every thing that comes our way....don't you agree?
anyway call me ok? friends and parents forever............Shar
See that Shane guy is already out of the picture. He used her like the last 6 guys have. She would get ready for a date and he would call and say he had to work. 5 times that happend. See these guys dont mean a damn thing, tho my wife was molested and alot of her acting out is to have sex with god knows who. Im lucky tho that does not bother me as much as it would others. I see it as part of what she has to do. And I know where it is comming from to.
Thanks...she just seems to protray that she has feeling s for him and that is hard to deal with...I can play along if she will go out from time to time and in the meantime I may meet someone else...I just get worried because he calls her all the time to talk about his issues and here I am her X husband and I don't get to do that. :-(
I appreciate that finally, I am getting some dialogue back...It helps and any insights anyone has is appreciated...I am so hopeful; but then reality hits and I know it may never be :-(
How does one know if it is time to give up??? Not that I am there yet; but if she never pushes me away, then what??? lol
Maybe I am stupid; but I believe in her and can't tell her right now; because that would scare her off...Also, if she chooses this married guy, then do I just keep my mouth shut??? What about my kids???
Quote: please.........you have to try to talk to me instead of ignoring me for days ok? I've had one hell of a ride this past week or 2 with grandpa and life is too short to be angry at every thing that comes our way....don't you agree?
anyway call me ok? friends and parents forever............Shar
Nice e-mail. What are you doing that's giving her the impression that you are angry? I think you need to just be yourself...don't be all aloof and mysterious to keep her guessing. If you want to pick up the phone when she calls then you should do it. And if you are not returning calls or e-mails that just says that you are angry. I'm just saying don't go out of your way to show her how little you care.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
When do you know when to give up? Do you really think it's a decision that you conciously make and then start actively "giving up"? I think it's more likely that gradually over time she becomes a less attractive option for you. The longing diminishes, maybe even life with the X looks unappealing, and one day you look back and say..."what was I pining away for anyway? I can't believe I wanted her back." In my case (in my first marriage) it took a couple years. Now I look back and can't believe I would have thought like that.
What if she chooses the married guy? I personally wouldn't want a woman that would actively seek a relationship with a married guy. I wouldn't say or do anything...it's short term at best. I feel for the married guy's wife, but don't know whether I'd be a but-in-ski and tell her. Unless your wife is doing things dangerous for the children, you really don't have much say. It really isn't your decision who she pals around with.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Quote: please.........you have to try to talk to me instead of ignoring me for days ok? I've had one hell of a ride this past week or 2 with grandpa and life is too short to be angry at every thing that comes our way....don't you agree?
anyway call me ok? friends and parents forever............Shar
Nice e-mail. What are you doing that's giving her the impression that you are angry? I think you need to just be yourself...don't be all aloof and mysterious to keep her guessing. If you want to pick up the phone when she calls then you should do it. And if you are not returning calls or e-mails that just says that you are angry. I'm just saying don't go out of your way to show her how little you care.
Well what happend was, right after her affair ended she jumped right back into a relationship with some other guy, as it turned out that went no where fast. I stoped being angry.
She now has ask me to move back in, for money reason. I do love her so much but her being in a MCL and being sexualy abused as a kid this is not a normal MCL. She has slept with atleast 7 guys since we seperated in June. So do I just let her go on with what she is doing?
I did help her today with her rent. We had a nice talk lastnight and talked about what split us up. My biggest problem right now is she thinks sex is just sex. She says it means nothing to her. Im not talking about with me but with the other guys. I think she is acting out her abuse with these guys.
Just, I agree about not telling; but it is hard because I do not like the woman or the guy; but she does not deserve this cheating even if it means telling on my X who I care for.
But I also know it isn't good for me to do so, so I don't...
THe hard part is carrying the knowledge around and not being able to let it out. The wondering if it will all end and maybe she does still care...It's the time that kills me and I know it is necessary; but it doesn't make it any easier :-(
Falcon, I probably should reply on your thread, but if Tman doesn't mind I'd like to address what you wrote here.
I'm going to give you my honest opinion. It's that should you get back together with her I think it will be too soon. My sense from what you said is that she hasn't grown...in fact she's more irresponsible. Is that incorrect? I just have this sense that you are a convenience for her, but she'd still see herself as divorced and would cheat on you. I hope I'm wrong. You have an opportunity here to look at what's best for you as well. If she is only interested in a roommate I'd tell her no. If she wants to try again with you I think she needs help with her problems or history will repeat itself. Just my opinion obviously.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I think your right, she has not grown up yet. My only thought was that with me there.
1. I get to see my daughter everyday 2. she would not bring any guys to the house 3. I would get a chance to db 4. I do think she still really does care for me, lastnight was the first time she said she was really sorry for treating me badly when I was sick 6 months ago. 5. Im thinking that reality is starting to sink in. She cant go back to school now, she cant do what she wanted to before, become a nurse. And for the first time she even said the words getting back together.
Now I could be setting myself up for being used big time.
Im not even close to makeing up my mind yet. Ill keep you all updated
