Haven't done it in awhile, just walked up this morning and put one on her. Didn't think about it, just did it. Didn't look for or expect a response, no pressure, just a statement of love. Not sure how it rates on the DB scale, except I think it falls under trying something different. I find myself getting more to the "let her figure her own crap out" stage. Just focusing on self.
I'll definately have to go home and read tonight. The weekend was a real down swing. When it comes to R talks, I don't think I do that well. Although I follow the rules fairly well, the result still comes out a bit of a mess. In some ways I'm glad to get my feelings out, but hate getting the same old song stuck in my face. Maybe with my next post I'll throw out some details.
Bummer about the down swing. If you could give some specifics with your conversations maybe we could help with words that would help improve your skills. If it's the same old song you really need to change the station and tune it in better!!!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
We'll looking back I was hoping that I would have some good news to report by now, but instead I'm still trying to figure out my next step. I see people that were in bad shape like myself a while back and they are up and going again. Although things are better, they've definately left me in the dust. Perhaps it's time for some changes.
I think W is still watching for signs that I'm leaving, however I think she's getting tired of it. Did I ever mention how determined I can be at times. She probably regrets M someone like me now.
Good to see an update, even if it isn't as great as you want it to be. If things are better, that is a change is it not? Don't be discouraged at the pace, be encouraged by positive progress.
She's watching for signs? how about a 180? give her some discreet signs and see how she likes what she sees. The easy signs are classified/rental ads, H did that, and I was kind enough to reciprocate for him. You know, sometimes they say you should mirror the other person.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Thanks for input. I've been enjoying doing different things on my own. Enjoying some travel and new sights. 180's for me, not sure what more to do, I'm happy with nearly all aspects of my life except..... Reflect what I see, some of that I don't think I would like to see come from me, too negative of a personality type. I have never been big on blaming other people for any lack of personal motivation I might have. You are always who you decide you will be. (Don't blame others)
Some how W thinks that we should not be having the struggles we are having. Since non of it could be her fault, it must be me. Yada, yada, yada.
Oh boy, Phoenix! You are caught between a rock and a hard place, 'eh! IMHO, I think your W has a lot of growing up to do - she sounds somewhat lazy when it comes to relationships. All relationships take work - even ones between friends, and the one between us and God (how easy is it, if we stop praying, stop reading the scriptures, stop going to church - would we still have the same faith? I think not). Is she not putting in a lot of effort into her work friends? That "it should be easy" attitude is a cop out, and childish.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm insulting your W, because I know you love and care about her. She is, after all, the mother of your precious children, and I am sure the 'real' her is there somewhere. She has just wondered into unfamiliar territory, is lost and isn't able to find her way out of it right now, I guess.
Just keep trying to be the beacon of light she unknowingly needs to find her way home again. In the meantime, I am glad you are finding ways to make yourself happy and content. Patience, patience, patience.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
No offense about W, your right on the money. Will she grow up and learn more about building relationships, only time will tell. Building friendships is exactly the right phrase, my parents are good friends with a family we use to have problems with all the time growing up. I've also noticed as people get older, their friendships get closer, they are more tolerant and have a better handle on what is important.
I have been trying to keep the light on for her. There are shadows of positives, but nothing overly obvious yet.
BTW - got my first tattoo as described in my thread. When it's done it will be a phoenix. Never realized all the symbolism in different cultures attributed to the phoenix, very cool
