Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Still Yoyo-ing About #4...

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Okay, I had a Mocha Latte, Butter Fish with Paprika Sauce and some mayo. That's about it. The Butter Fish did taste a bit weird. Not "rotten" weird but some kind of chemically-weird taste. Because it was not "rotten", I ate the whole thing.

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Yo - it's possible that what you had was not an allergic reaction at all, but what is called scombroid poisoning. You see, certain fish (tuna especially), if not kept properly refrigerated, can have a growth of bacteria that convert the histidine in fish into histamine. Histamine is the chemical released in your body during an allergic reaction - but in the case of scombroid poisoning, the histamine is coming directly from the fish you ate. It's as though you ate a little histamine "bomb".

So, if you normally eat fish all the time with no ill effects, scombroid poisoning seems most likely. You can develop allergies at any age, though, so I would be careful next time you eat fish. Take one bite first, and wait, and make sure you have someone with you and are within reach of medical care. Just to be extra sure that you haven't developed a fish allergy.

Paprika allergy would be rare but not unheard of. Is this a spice you normally use, or was this very unusual for you to have this spice?

My money's on scombroid poisoning at this point. It would be interesting to know if any other diners were sickened by that fish that day. That would confirm it.

Ellie

You are truly a bad, bad wicked girl!! And I love it...I think my friskiness is starting to be picked up by the lovely women on DB!! Woo Hoo!!

Yes, you can most certainly develop food allergies later in life. I was always the Shell Fish queen growing up...and now my goodness, if you want to see me get sick just give me something with shell fish...but it's not a consistent food allergy...wierd...I can eat it sometimes and not feel a thing...but better not to take chances my dear...that's what I have learned.

Come to the states, have the testing done here and oooh all the trouble we can get into here...

Yoyo, I just had a thought that maybe it was ciguatera poisoning from the fish? You're in the tropics right? I am not sure on the symptoms, but may be worth checking out. I know a friend had it and she had to avoid fish for 12 months as 2nd attack would be worse.

Just a thought

KML, Strong & Kismet - Hey Gals....

if not kept properly refrigerated, can have a growth of bacteria
KML - Think this could be it!! The others had other types of fish. They had the more regular items on the menu, whereas I had the "special". As for paprika, not a regular spice that I use but not the first time I've taken it either...

You are truly a bad, bad wicked girl!!
Strong - Well, it's good to do a 180, right? Been always a gooody-gooody girl... You should have seen the look on my MIL's face......

ciguatera poisoning from the fish
Kismet - What is ciguatera?

Journalling....
Went to bed early last night, ie. at 9 pm. Woke up at 11.30 am. Started to jot down my feelings and thoughts into my little note book. Started to cry alittle, started to think a little, and actually listed down things that I need to do for "Closure". The list of H's things that I need to pack, the issues that we need to discuss etc etc. The amount of $$ for the kids, visitation schedule, procedures etc etc... Couldn't hold on to my being DARK, sent H a text at about 3 am in the morning...my time. (It would be about 7 pm London time..)
Me: I want you to know that my need to speak to her is not to scream at her or to scold her or to drag her down. I just need to make sure that she will take good care of you...better than I ever could. As in all projects, I need to do a proper handover. I will be sending a separation proposal to you. Please peruse and amend as you see fit. This would be for planning purposes and any action from my part will be from Jan. Thanks. P/s I will be away, so call my mom's to talk to boys.

Continue later....got to go.

Kismet - What is ciguatera?

Yoyo, here's a link for you
ciguatera

Not sure that your symptoms are the same ~ but just when you mentioned the fish I remembered it, and it is quite common here anyway. I hope you find an answer as to what it is. Stay away from fish in the meantime though.

So did H reply to the text? Sorry you are feeling so down. It is understandable though ~ I don't know how you have stayed sane with all the ups/downs on your rollercoaster ride. (mine seems like the kiddy's merry go round in comparison).

Check back with us, and take care of yourself and those boys.

I doubt it was ciguatera poisoning, since the symptoms really aren't the same, and what yoyo described was pretty classic for a histamine response - either allergic or scombroid poisoning - would look the same.

Ellie

Kismet/KML - Thanks for your concern about my poisoning/allergic episode... The doc did give me some anti-histamine medication. Err..actually did have some fish this morning. No reaction so far. I think could be what Ellie indicated with regards to "improper refrigeration" of the fish. I actually have a follow-up visit with the doc tomorrow..

Journalling..
Continuation from my last post...(Actually, the texts from me are kinda jumbled up....)
H: Firstly, where are u going?? Secondly, I have already made up my mind where I would like to go. I have been cracking my head over the last few days how to tell her. I swear on my grandmother's grave. You know I'm telling the truth when I say that.
Me: I am going to the East Coast for Work. And I am just making plans to let go. As with all projects, I will propose a separation plan that will include visitation schedule, procedures, $$ payment schedule etc. Please feel free to amend.
H:You have been very understanding and calm all the while. Pls stay that way. U will hear from me very very soon. I do love you.
Me: I am still as calm as before. It's just that I am very very tired of holding onto this marriage rope. And I am just making plans to let go. As I told you, I am not going to drag her down. So please don't feel cornered. I really really don't want a fake marriage.
H: Aiya.. you are very noisy you!!! I'll contact you. Nite Nite. Love you and not fake.
Can't remember what else was exchanged, but H texted "Nite nite Hottie". And I think I did mention to him about my MIL's remarks about my dress.

Yesterday (Tuesday) ... I got a text from H in the evening (he made the first contact of the day) "Going to the airport now. Call u when back in Country X. Arriving at about 7-8 am Wed morning". I replied "Okay. Have a good flight back. Call the boys over at mom's".

This morning...got a text from H..which was sent early in the morning. I didn't get it earlier as my mobile has gone whacko and have been having NO service. So I have actually gone DARK with the help of my malfunction phone.
H:Tried calling but vmail. U really need to change your phone.In transit now...will board plane for Country X. Call u later.
Me: Yes. I will buy a new phone this weekend. Hope you have a good trip. Ta.
Then I got a missed call from H (again..my malfunction phone provided the DARKNESS factor)
H texted : Tried calling again but vmail again. In Country X already. Where are you anyway?
H then managed to get through my phone. Our convo was cut short by my malfunction phone again...

I texted: I am in the East Coast, driving home now. Boys are over at mom's if you want to talk to them.
H: Hope u are not driving on your own. For my info....are u still a h*rny b*tch lately??
Me: No. I have a new colleague with me. And it's none of your business whether I am still a * or not.
H: Of course is my bisiness. Missed f*cking your c**t
Me: Pls stop! All this talk is no good for my emotional calmness. Please limit our talk to the boys and practicalities. Therefore, no reference to bodily parts nor name calling. Period!!! Ta..
H: Ok ok. Call u tonight.
Me: No need to call me. If you want to talk to boys, call my mom's house. Ta.

So, ...came home and got a call from H about half and hour ago.
Me: H1! Boys are over at my mom's.
H: I know. I called them already. S5 said that mommy is at home.
Me: Oh. Okay.
H: You drove back?
Me: Yeah. Am very tired.
H: (Smiling).. tired from the drive or tired of me.
Me: Both. I don't want to fight.
H: We are not fighting.
Me: Not yet.
H: Anyway...I am going for a meeting now... blah blah blah... (H then talked about the car conking out, blah blah blah)
Me: Okay, bye.

So, that's it. I didn't say much. Normally, I would be feeling quite positive about H making sooo many contacts and sounding cheerful. But I just can't feel ecstatic about anything.

Another day...

One Day at a TIME!!!

Hey Yoyo: You are sounding so strong and detached. You didn't even let the naughty talk get to you. It sounds as though H is scrambling around trying not to lose you. Good!

I have been cracking my head over the last few days how to tell her.

Why is it so hard for WAS to break up from OP when it seems they had no problem getting into a relationship with them in the first place. Has he told you how he was going to end the relationship?

Sorry to hear about your allergic episode. Have you found out what caused it yet?

Yoyo, I love how you stopped that texts*x in its tracks. WAH won't know what has hit him. Very strong

Makes me laugh how H wants it all esp. the comment that whether you are horny or not is his business.

Hang in there yoyo. I can see you are starting to tire of all this. Stay strong

KDK/Kismet - I am soooo ashamed of myself I gave in to the naughty texts and we ended up having phone s@x again. I am sooooooo confused now. *sigh*

Has he told you how he was going to end the relationship?
No. He has not. He has not mentioned anything further about that. I think the cycle has re-started again...of him running back and off again once he's "caught" me in his web again. I should have been stronger willed. I am really rather disappointed with myself. *sigh*

I can see you are starting to tire of all this
I am. I am. I think I need some professional help to help me to really LET GO.... I kept being reeled back in over and over again, and the cycle starts again. I really don't see how we can get out of this rut...unless I am strong enough. H certainly is not strong at all.... *sigh*

Journalling...
From my last post...Allowed the boys to sleep in my room. We had little chats before bedtime, and the boys were telling me all their naughty antics that drove my dad crazy. I thought they were really cute... I guessed I made the mistake of sending a text to H to share details about the boys...(which I thought was the right thing to do, and I guessed only parents can have that kind of "rush" to hear that kind of stuff about their kids..) Anyway, not long later, H texted "In a bar with my boss. Will be taking over his place in June. Like I said, if nothing is going well in my life, I am [censored] hot in my career".
Me: Congratulations!!! I don't think anybody ever doubted your capabilities in your career. I am really happy for you. I really wish you further successes and happiness. I really hope you are happy and contented now. Nite.
Next thing...H called. I knew it could only be him. I made S5 answer the phone since he was still up. S5 spoke to him and then said "What? You want to talk to mommy??" and then passed the phone over to me.
Me: Hi!
H: How come S5 is still up?
Me: We were just chatting.
H: With whom?
Me: Me.
H: What about? Tell me...tell me...tell me (grinning away)
Me: Stuff...why don't you ask him yourself.
Passed the phone back to S5.S5 spoke to him for a bit and again "Huh? You want to speak to mommy again? Okay.." and passed the phone back to me again. Some "how are you" questions "are you okay?" and then asked if I have sent the school application forms. I said NO. And he was gonna say "Please do so soon.." and then S5 was playing with the phone, and the line was cut-off and put-on and cut-off again. Had to stop S5 from doing that...took a while, and when the line was back on properly, our convo was different..Proceeded with questions about my plunging neckline dress...How low was it? Was your cleavage exposed? Was it short? Asked if I "entertained" myself. *sigh* I was brushing off his questions with "You don't need to know" and he was like "Tell me...tell me pleeaaseee". *sigh* And then told me to go to the other room and we could have phone s@x and I said "No! This is not healthy for us. Bye and Good Night" and then ended the call.
Not long later, got a text from H...
H: It's not healthy if we are gonna go our separate ways. But we are NOT. I still fantasize f**king u on ur [censored][censored]
Me: Please stop. I really don't think this is healthy for either for us or her. Please go take a cold shower or call her. (Yes, I did ask him to contact her....)
H: (oblivious to my text) Start f**gering urself now, and then [censored]. Call me when ready.
Me: Please stop. Nite Nite.
H: Just make it w*t. Then go to the other room and sit on the chair. Spread ur leg wide open over the table. then call me!! I wanna [censored][censored]
H: Just do it...i wanna hear u moan and be f**ked. Can't wait to stick my [censored][censored] Call me now!!!
H: go to the other room and spread ur [censored][censored] Call me...I'm gonna c*m soon.
[censored]! we ended up having about half an hour of phone s@x. After that, I said "[censored]! Told you it was a bad idea". H said "But we didn't do anything, what??!??" God! I am in such a mess!!!!!!

This morning, woke up and felt really really lousy about myself and sent him a text to tell him that we REALLY REALLY need to stop all this. No reply, but then got a message on my mobile that i have a missed call from H at 8.30 am. I went to my mom's. Confessed to my mom that I was soooo weak that I gave in and I still have so much feelings for H that it is really difficult to deal with. If I am to let go...I really can't continue to have any such contacts with H. Really f**ks my brain up!!!! I really really am confused!!!!!!

Drove to work...H called.
H: Wow...your text is really long.
He sounded sleepy.
Me: You are still in bed?
Line was kinda bad ....and I said that I couldn't hear him and he was quick to say "okay, bye then".

Few minutes later...another call from H.
H: What do you see on the phone caller ID when I call? Do you see my number?
Me: Sometimes I see the complete number. SOmetimes just some funny codes. WHy?
H: Nothing...Just wondering. Cause sometimes you don't want to answer my calls.
Me: I don't think there's much point to answer.
H: Oh. Okay. Bye then.
Me: Bye.

So...WTF? In short, I am in a mess!!!! I am like a dog going round and round in circles trying to bite my own tail...I don't see much that I can do...Just have to booost up my willpower and minimize whatever contacts with H. *sigh*... Really really in a mess!!! Think my mom is also rather disappointed with my willpower... Gawd....This is [censored] hard!!!!